Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Vick Needs Some Company

Is real sorry, for uh, PITA, but, uh, just wants to play football guys, y'know?

Just announced today, Brett Favre thinks the mutilated corpses of animals are playtoys! According to The Fifth Down, Favre recently left a little surprise in teammate Eric Barton's locker: a dead rotting animal carcass in a "plastic bag full of blood and guts!" Wheeeee!

Hey! Quick question - if it was a dog, and Favre breeds wild dogs on his huge ranch, and then lets 'em go and hunts 'em so he can dump them in his unbelievably unassuming (how could you not see this coming?!?!) teammates' lockers, don't you think he should be immediatley removed from the Madden cover, released from the Jets and imprisoned for three years? Me too! From Fifth Down:

Barton could not remember whether it happened last week or the week before. Nor did he know exactly what kind of dead animal Favre shot (presumably), bagged and dumped inside Barton’s locker.

Dog! It was a dog!!

While left guard Alan Faneca assumed that Favre was the perpetrator. Barton refused to name a suspect, but did say that “I hope that the animal rights activists find out about it, whoever did it, that cruel person.” Hahahhahahahah (slaps knee) hahahhahahahah! Animal rights activists those RASCALS! I sure hope they find out who did this and throw my QBs ass in prison quicker 'n shit! Hahah. Yeah, but seriously. Like they could ever have any real power or influence over what happens.

Asked if this was an example of how Favre was fitting into the Jets’ locker room, Faneca said: “He fits because of his personality. He likes to have a good time and joke around and have fun while you’re doing it. That’s the way we should be doing things out here.”

Well, YEAH. I mean, who doesn't like to have fun while they're doing it? When I'm doing it I like to tell jokes, too. Like:
Knock, knock!
(GASP) Who's there??
Deep inside you Evan!!!
Deep inside you Evan who? (GASP)
Deep inside you Ev'n more and I'm gonna bust yo sternum!!!!!

We miss you Vick.

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