Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Sobered Up - Week Seven

Well, what the hell took you so long?

Welcome to a decidedly less aesthetically pleasing edition of Sobered Up, and a particularly less sober one as well. Before we get into our feature story, we, Runaround Sue's, are going to reveal here and now the secret behind our success (great Michael J. flick!). While you're correct in your assumption that it requires several hours and copious amounts of alcohol to bring out the true blawgin' genius, the real magic of 2008 is owed to Mexican restaurants. Nothing more, certainly nothing less. So my question to you, readers, is how obnoxious do you have to be in order to be thrown out of one of the seediest Mexican joints in Atlanta?

Sue's had a rough time with it this weekend. A total of 7 hours of sleep for a game day weekend is rough, so excuse Sue just this once if we're not at our best.

So Tommy Boy's finally out at Clemson, huh. I wish I could say good for you, Tigers, but what the hell do you expect? I mean, are you really going to get a coach that's going to lead you to being better than a model of consistency for slightly above mediocre? Now in his 9th year, Bowden has a 69-41 record, 7 bowl appearances and a whopping 42 ACC wins. There are only two programs in the entire conference with more wins during this time, FSU and GT. Oh, and he also happened to graduate 80 percent of his seniors. Insanely elevated expecations are all fine and dandy. But it's not like you were rattling off 10-win seasons and heading to the championship on an annual basis before he got there. There are other things to consider, however. For example, how much are Fire Tommy Bowden website domain names (not to mention the highly sought after Tommy Bowden is God domain) going to fetch from fans of whatever team he goes on to torment now? More importantly, when you don't eclipse 9 dubs in a single season over the next 5 years, where will you turn to for blame?

I can't believe I'm sitting here with my biggest hope of Georgia squeaking in and playing for a championship for the first time since the year before I was born is Ohio State beating Penn State. 16-3 against Purdue, but you're going to handle PSU? If you had told me I'd be rooting for Ohio State when this season started, I wouldn't have believed you. But that's the affect of voters turning their backs on Ohio State. Right now OSU somehow getting back in is one of the least of my worries, even with a win against PSU in a few weeks.

Texas looked really good against Oklahoma. Or so I heard. I'm sorry, but I was too busy building on the buzz I had carefully began constructing at 10 am. With so many places to hit up around campus, I just couldn't stop to watch a football game no matter how exciting it was. This is Athens for you. You go for the football, but then your environment just swallows you up and your oddly content to just sit outside with your buddies having immediately forgetable conversations about absolutely nothing while downing gin n tonic after bud light after gin n tonic. Go sometime. I implore you. Now, Texas you look to be a solid team. Maybe the best in the country I'll give you that. But why are you acting like you're playing Punch Out on Hardest difficulty and eveyrone else just turns it on to beat the shit out of Glass Joe? Thank you, Colt McCoy, for this tidbit:

"We have the most ridiculous schedule ever," Texas quarterback Colt McCoy said. "We play good football teams week in and week out. We can't slip up. We want to face what we're doing and love the challenge of what's in front of us."

Yes, thank you. Thank you for making it so easy for me to think you're an insanely large fucking douche. And what's more is that the media are buying this crap. You've got a tough schedule no doubt, but how is it for one second any more difficult than several teams in the SEC? As much hype and respect the SEC gets, people still just don't get it.

With only 2 1/2 weeks left until what looks to be the elimination game in Jacksonville, it seems appropriate to see how Runaround Sue's Top 10 differs from our o-ridge list of elite teams from week one (week one noted in parentheses). Observe:

1) Alabama (8. How many places did you see Alabama in the preseason Top 10?)
2) Texas (7. Thus is college football, Texas. Today you're America's darlings and the most loved football team in Texas. Two conferenec losses and you're toast)
3) Penn State (Unranked. Not sure I know anyone who saw this coming)
4) Oklahoma (2. Oklahoma could very well still be one of the Top 2 best teams in the country)
5) Florida (4. One big test has been passed with flying colors.)
6) USC (5. Are we seeing a pattern here?)
7) Georgia (1. Ouch. This may have been wishful thinking)
8) Oklahoma State (WTF?!? Who the fuck put Okie State in Sue's Top 10?!)
9) Ohio State (3. Sue just wanted to see them drop like a UF coed's panties during the last weekend in October in one more poll)
10) LSU (6. Does anyone really think LSU is out of it?)

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