Shotcallin' - Week 6 or is it 7?

The best image I could find to sum up the impending action on Saturday.

Oh yes. This is why God created college football, for weekends like this. Before I get into the upcoming pornucopia of games starting in 36 hours, allow me to preemptively crown this week's ACC Shiftest, or whatever we call the award on Mondays recognizing the ACC's latest attempt to become the eastern timezone's answer to the Big Sky Conference.

These are your two best teams? (Preseason...current...whatever.)

Quite frankly, I'm just pleased to see there was a touchdown scored in this game. I was afraid the ACC's field goal fetish had once again its ugly head and made way to our TV screens under the guise of Wake, the worst perpetrator of said fetish.

Luckily (or, more appropriately, not) for Clemson fan, this season's 3-3 start signals the beginning of the utterly predictable "turnaround where Tommy Bowden saves his job with the peak being a win against Florida State!" They have ten days to get CJ Spiller healthy for a home date against G-Tech.

Onto real football...this weekend features some excellent viewing choices. However, if you're headed up to Athens or wherever for the game and only have limited time, energy, and coherent focus available to watch a limited amount of football, fear not. We've got the this weekend's map planned out like DaGama so your eyes know exactly which game to dart to once you step into the bar or pass a tailgate with one of those fancy satellite/slingbox hookups that I wouldn't even begin to understand how it works:

Noon: Oklahoma-Texas. Fuck saving the best for last. Did you know Oklahoma has knocked the opposing QB out of the game for at least two series in EVERY game this year? Given Colt McCoy's tendency to run under pressure...I don't see this going well. Regardless, if this one is close, the loser automatically becomes the best one loss team in the nation.

2:30: Vandy-MissState. Keep an eye on this one, if just to see if Vandy falls into the classic "letdown/look-ahead game" trap. A Vandy dubya, coupled with a UGA one makes it more likely next week's game kicks off at 8pm. (Yeah right...you'll see my girlfriend passing up a holiday sale that will overdraft her checking account before you see Michael Adams okaying a nighttime kickoff for a homecoming game.

3:30: Dawgs-Vols. I don't care if they suck. They've beaten us two years in a row in embarrassing fashion. I want that to happen to them. I'll enjoy it like this was 2003 all over again.

Also keep an eye on: USC-Zona State (Will the Devils play the 'jammys closer than they played Georgia?...will that have any effect on the rankings?) and North Carolina-Notre Dame (Look, I'm a proud Catholic, but I have a hard time cheering for a Clausen. Plus I like what Butch Davis is doing in Chapel Hill. Looking forward to seeing him coaching Tennessee next year. Go Heels in this one.)

5:00: Arkansas-Auburn. The most interesting part of the game will be the millionaires standing on the sidelines presiding over flawed teams. If that wasn't enough of a hint...DON'T WATCH THIS GAME.

8:00: LSU-Florida. Sorry. This game has to take precedence over any others. I seriously have no idea what will happen, and nothing that happens in this game will surprise me. Tebow chop blocking an LSU D-Lineman, Jarrett Lee looking like Tony Romo out there (complete with the requisite 1-2 possible game-killers), Mike the Tiger breaking loose and mauling the band at halftime, I'm prepared for anything. Honestly, I'm about a million times more pumped for this game than Oklahoma-Texas, but such is the life of an SEC Snob.

Also keep an eye on: Mizzou-Okie State (I'm thisclose to picking the upset, but I don't think I got the necessary marbles. Mizzou really has looked unstoppable as they thwarted through their schedule against Schools for Children Missing One of their Senses.) Penn State-Wisconsin (Actually, just check the ticker for this game. If you plan on watching it you may as well just take four Nembutals.)

And now, for the picks:

Oklahoma (-6) over Texas - $15

Vanderbilt (PK) over Mississippi State - $15...didn't this line open at 4?! Honestly kind of surprises me to see that even fans aren't buying the Vandy hype. Good to see us wising up as a society.

Oklahoma St. (+9) over Missouri - $10

UNC (-4.5) over Notre Dame - $10

LSU (+6) over Florida - $50

LSU (ML + 200) over Florida - $50

OBJ's Inferior Picks:

Georgia (-13.5) over Tennessee - $10

Virginia/ECU (UNDER 43.5) - $5 - You may be thinking...why the hell would anyone bet the O/U in this game unless they felt a psychlogical inclination to wager on every game and prop on the board? But fear not, our loyal six readers, because OBJ has been meticulously watching each second of every UVA and ECU game all year so that he could accurately predict the O/U on this here week. You're in good hands with Sue.

Last Week: 5-4-1

Inferior Picks: 2-1

2008 Record: 29-21-1

2008 Pot: $220