Sobered Up - Week Six

This Never Gets Old

A college football gameday without a Georgia game? Now, work with me on this metaphoric, but it's a lot like having a long ass dream about a ridiculously hot girl, finally getting her clothes off and climbing into bed with her only to wake up. Or spending 5 agonizingly long (don't these minutes seem longer than all others?) minutes preparing yourself a sandwich, loading on the mayo, mustard, cheese, et. al, only to discover you don't have any meat. It's like going to the movies and watching two hours worth of previews. The timing is right, the surroundings are there and everything seems to be in place, but there is one thing severely lacking that just makes the entire experience...artificial, somehow.

That being said, this was a pretty good time for a Georgia bye. Primarily because of the injuries, but a close second would be because Georgia fans have now gone five weeks without the ability to get some chores and errands done. Unless they're students. Or jobless. Now I'm not big on sitting around for two weeks sulking about what will hopefully be the worst loss of the season for two weeks, but I've got a feeling Richt will have these boys charged up and hungry come Saturday.

So, uh, what's going on with Florida? Winning 17-7 going into the half against Arky after a home loss to 'Ole Miss? This to a team that beat Western Illinois and Louisiana Monroe by a combined 5 points? Are teams starting to figure out Tim Tebow aka Kal-el? Is the lack of a running game finally making this offense sputter? Is this going to be the only Sue paragraph comprised entirely of questions?? Florida, you've got less than a week to put it together. Careful now.

After a 3-point victory over monstrous Wisconsin (read: sarcasm, best win = Fresno State), Ohio State is inching ever-closer to the reality that most college football fans have feared since the last second of the 2007 College Football Season. A win against Penn State and OSU is, frighteningly, a very likely candidate for the BCS National Championship game. Although I cringe at the thought, I really would relish another THE Ohio State beatdown by THE SEC. Hey, Buckeyes and BCS, we could make this an annual tradition!

Remember when Nebraska used to be a good team? After much deliberation, we here at Sue's blame the media and explosion of the Information Age on the sudden downfall of Nebraska football. Not only is Nebraska one of the last places a top tier prospect would want to visit, let alone live/attend school, but they no longer need to in order to receive televised recognition. With so many ESPN channels and all of the games on all the time, you can attend a Fresno State, an obviously preferable locale to be sure, and still be guranteed to play in several televised games per year. Add to that a near dominant rule by Oklahoma and Texas, with Mizzou and Kansas staking their claim, and Nebraska has very little to offer athletes. I still expect them to pull off an upset and show some type of stingy defense game after game, but alas, I believe it may be time to give up on that. At least they've still got those homegrown hotties. And corn. Allegedly.
Editor's Note: Sue has never been to Nebraska and likely never will, so cannot justifiably validate these rumors of luscious cornfields supposedly sweeping the gorgeous landscape of Nebraska.
For the record, Yes, Have, While Drunk and Eoogh! WTF Is That?! How Did She Get on The Squad?

And the ACC Shitfest of the Week Award Goes to: Maryland vs. Virginia. 31-0 Maryland?? Really? Didn't you just beat two ranked teams in Cal and Clemson? What the hell? Aargh your conference sucks on so many levels I can't even begin to describe it and why it angers me so, but here's one for you real quick: right now, Maryland, you are the shitfly that lays its eggs on top of the pile of shit. Your conference is just so consistently inconsistent and bad.

On to Sue's Weekly Top Ten!

1. Oklahoma - Ooooooklahoma! Well your season starts next week. You've been beating the shit out of your inferior opponents with the deliberateness of a drunken stepfather, but now you've got an opponent who could presumably stay on the same field with you. Just remember, you should be beating the crap out of all those teams. However, you're the only top team to be able to consistently do that without any slacking, so you're the clear #1.
2. LSU - This whole LSU/Bama who-should-be-two thing will be figured out real quick, but for now Sue has to swing towards LSU's talent.
3. Alabama - How many times have we patted our own butts for having Alabama in our Preseason Top 10? Not enough.
4. Texas - Let Sue be the 88, 764th source to tell you this is your biggest game of the season. Oh, and how many people have reminded you that you're 2-7 against Oklahoma since 2000?
5. Missouri - According to Hey Jenny Slater, Mizzou has not had a 3 and out the entire season. Wow and jeezus. That's got to be some kind of record and, also, is pretty damn scary.
6. Penn State
7. Texas Tech - With games against Oklahoma and Texas, TT will have to prove they belong with the big boys.
8. Georgia - Need a "statement" game against Tennessee this weekend boys. Don't disappoint and come out firing on all cylinders.
9. USC
10. Florida - Gator fans better be hoping that the coaching staff was preparing them for next week's game instead of this week's. Or last week's.

(Mumme Poll extras: Both OSUs...T.BooneOSU over tOSU based on each team's efforts vs. my personal yardmarker Troy State.)