Real Life Matters Week One

STILL WORKS IN THE SEC
Hey There USC/UNC/MIA!!

Back when we were still giving you the reach-around at Runaround's, our bets were quite extravagant given the times. Let's be realistic and boil it down this time around. BOIL IT DOWN LIKE THEY DO IN 'SIANNA.

There are a measly 29 26 letters in the alphabet. So why in the hell is it so hard for people to throw 'em all together and write?

Self Pity party over - I hope you got your favors. We got a newbie on the betting line and a brand new if not compelling bet:

LOSER - Swift kick in the ass. No bullshit. Velocity of kick dependent upon kicker (kick-ee likely to ask for more)

WINNER - Bottle of his choosing.

BONUS - Winning Percentage more than 10% differential? Georgia home game football ticket

Here we go, then.

OBJ
AUBURN (+7) Over Mississippi State
TENNESSEE (-6) Over Cincinnati
TCU (-2) Over Air Force
Georgia Vs. South Carolina UNDER 51.5

J-Rock
OREGON (-26.5) Over Nevada
Cal (-6.5) over Colorado
TCU (-2) Over Air Force
Oregon St. and Wisconsin UNDER 57

It's unfair that OBJ lives so close to Vegas and understands odds, while J-Rock's best gambling days involve wagering naked pictures of his ex and a tire iron.

GEORGIA IS A GIRL
Each week we're going to bring to you what the University of Georgia football team is, metaphorically speaking. In terms of a woman you are sexually/intellectually/spiritually interested in:

Week of 9/10
This week, you could all write it yourself. Georgia is the girl you haven't seen for quite some time, but begins text messaging you like crazy for months when she knows you're back in town. She promises that she's lost a TON of weight since you last saw her in college, when she was "Too Big to Fit in a Bath Cath." You meet up with her one night, and lo and behold she looks INCREDIBLE. Unfortunately, she's wearing such baggy clothing (playing a pseudo top 5 team) you can't rightly tell what her figure looks like, and you're too damn exhausted to explore further.

The next date matters, CATHY. Are you the Cathy we knew in college who could chug beers and pass out on bathroom floors with the worst best of them? Or are you really the chick you put your ass out there to be?

Hokey uniforms give way to true blue red and black skin-tight clothing, GAl. Let's see how ya look.