Sobered Up - Week 13

Welcome to a reestablished edition of Sobered Up, in which Sue's once again found ourselves where we should be on a Sunday evening: a nameless establishment, drinking beer, half-paying attention to the NFL while deeply discussing College Football. It's wonderful to not enjoy the NFL compared to College Football to the degree that Thomas Davis running down your home team's running back is the most exciting play you observe. Some guys you just always root for. Thomas Davis is definitely one of them. I don't care if "my" favorite NFL team (Saints? Falcons?) was in the Super Bowl, I would cheer for a player like Davis to lay out my team's best receiver. This is not exaggeration.

Georgia's disappointing season should do well to help me get over the end of this season and look towards the next. This is what I am hoping.

Coincidence that your initials are TD?

As an introduction to our upcoming Too Many Teams! Too Lofty the Expectations! Only 10 Spots! post, Sue would like to firmly state that Notre Dame needs to recalibrate their expectations. People don't want to play for your school. Hell, most of the nation even holds disdain for you. Sue is friends with many a Catholic, and not one of them root for Notre Dame. You're like the dude that used to be the coolest kid in town, but now you just sit at the same old bar, playing the same music on the Jukebox (I'm thinking Astley), smoking your Marlboro Lights and hitting on any girl that comes in utilizing your bourbon breath and double vision. Oh, and you're pathetically single. Nobody wants you, aging hipster stuck in the old days. Your first step towards reestablishing any semblance of relevance resides in joining a BCS conference. So, good luck with that. Oh, and hey Irish fans. Way to throw snowballs at your own football team. You stay classy, South Bend.

A quick question to Urban "LaBeouf" Meyer: four years ago when you argued that any team that goes undefeated should play in the national championship, how do you now reason through your Gators being more deserving than undefeated Utah? Just wondering.

With Georgia Blech coming at us with the impending expectancy of a locomotive careening into a parked car (or, more aptly a small, buzzing insect beelining into a glass door), a quick question to Tech fans: would you rather beat Georgia in your season-ending instate rivalry, or play in the ACC Championship game with a laughable opportunity at a BCS game? I think you would rather play in the ACC Championship game, but likely because of the novelty of actually having a Championship game and expecting some sort of satisfaction (which you hopefully wouldn't receive, leaving you feeling empty), rather than the millions you'd receive from a possible BCS berth. But what do I know. The mentality of the Georgia Tech football fan is dispassionate at best, fair-weather to be sure.

And the ACC Crapfest Game of the Week Award returns! With so many awful games to choose from, the winner of the biggest loser is...all of you! Blech slamming pitiful Miami 41-23 on a Thursday night? NC State blowing out ranked (???) UNC 41-10? And let's not forget the most loveable of the losers Maryland, who proved once and for all that no team wants to visit Jacksonville when the only excuse is an ACC Championship game, losing their divisional lead in a 37-3 wipeout to Florida State. Why do I keep picking you, Terrapins? I won't even attempt to discuss Clemson 13, Virginia 3. All eight of you teams deserve a 12.5% share of the Crapfest Award this week. For you all equally contributed to another forgettable weekend in ACC Football. Congratulations!

Prepare yourself for another epic ACC barnburner. At least this time hotel owners won't be left feeling cheated. This excellence in mediocrity is now fully consistent.

Georgia - Georgia Blech on the horizon, along with bloated bellies and even more forgettable NFL Thanksgiving football (I'm looking at you, Deeetroit). On to Sue's Top 10/Mumme Poll!

1. Alabama - Like Georgia, looked very solid against a well-rounded bye.
2. Florida - Disagree all you want that they shouldn't be here. But you cannot disagree that Florida is playing football at least as good as anyone in the country right now.
3. Texas - Sue is torn right down the middle between Oklahoma and Texas deserving this spot. Tough call, and even more difficult is the realization that Sgt. Friday's declaration months ago that the Big 12 is stronger than the SEC this year is absolutely spot-on.
4. Oklahoma - If you look as good against Okie State as you did Saturday night, you should jump Texas, even if they beat you. Unfair, but then that's the College Football landscape for you. At least you're not undefeated Auburn getting NO love.
5. Southern California - Memo from Friday: Bill Plaschke makes an excellent point in this article. I'll spare you having to click the link and try and wade through a cesspool of awful puns, nonsensical metaphors and craptastic sentence structure; but basically, Ole Bill points out that USC should be cheering for Oregon State to win on Saturday and spare the Trojans their fourth Rose Bowl in six years. The whole nation thinks USC is in a weak-ass conference, and it has affected their ranking this year. Getting the opportunity to play and possibly beat an SEC or Big 12 power would go a long way toward making voters and fans think that USC can compete with any team, in any conference, in any venue. Beating up on Big 10 schools just doesn't give college football nuts a hard-on anymore.
6. Penn State - Congratulations, Penn State! You have ascended back to national relevance while surfing a wussy wave of weak Big 10 teams, your 137-year old coach is coming back and fired up about a new lazy-boy he's installing in the press box to watch you, and your back in the Rose Bowl! Your reward? (Possibly) A team you've already destroyed 45-14! Welcome back.
7. Texas Tech - Sue wanted to drop you even further, but we couldn't find a team to jump you. Watch your back, Red Raiders. Oh, and I'd just go ahead and spend your Black Friday searching out the best deal for a new bed set. I wouldn't even try to wash that shit out. (Friday again: Crabtree is still my pick for Heism--- eh, couldn't do it. Give it to Crabs, Bradford, Tebow, McCoy or damn near anyone on USC's D...fine choices all around)
8. Utah - Unbelievable, but they've earned it.
9. Oklahoma State - Always rooting for the underdog, you'll have me firmly standing against my mother's alma mater for the second week in a row. Not that I think you have a chance in hell.
10. Ohio State - THE Ohio State, I guess, can have the 10 spot.

Remainder of the Mumme Poll - Georgia and Missouri completes the same Top 12 Sue's has had for the last three weeks. I guess you could say Sue knew what was up...