PART 2 of an Absurdly Long NBA Preview: Eastern Conference - Contenda's and Playoffs

OBJ: Okay so before we get started, I'd just like to ask a few questions because I've been out-of-pocket / cringing at the prospect of sports

JF: go

OBJ: Give me a quick update on the Marbury situation, Oden's injury and how a certain former Hawks star is doing in Greece

JF: hmm

1. Why you cringing at the prospect of sports?

2. Marbury on the inactive list for "foreseeable future" (/ D'Antoni quote)

3. Oden out 2-4 weeks, should be fine, still has 0 points for his career.

4. Nobody cares b/c Americans don’t follow European bball which is why no superstar in his prime will ever make that leap

OBJ: 1. a) Georgia season is shot. That is my ultimate fandom when it comes to sports and it has been wrenched from my lifeless hands. I feel like a lone knight on the battlefield of sports without his broadsword

4. Just because nobody cares doesn't mean I didn't ask. I was just curious how he was doing

3. 2-4 ain't bad at all

JF: I gots no clue how JChill doin

for all i know he could be rockin cornrows

OBJ: Re: Marbury, I just find it weird he's getting so much money from them, they are saying they (the Knicks) won't trade him, won't release him and won't buy him out. But he's not playing either?

That just makes no sense to me

JF: yeah

well

its the knicks

ive stopped trying to figure them out long ago

OBJ: And re: JChill I only ask because espn is now doing a "Top 10 Plays in Basketball from Europe!!"

JF: seriously?

OBJ: Childress' mug flashed on the cover

JF: ugh

Cant read Greek, maybe you’ll have better luck than me

OBJ: Florida on the cover of espn.com! Hey, espn! Go fuck yourself!!

Anyway our readers may find this interesting:

OBJ: Okay so gay euro-highlights aside, let's get into the East

JF: so were you as enamored with yesterday’s trade as i was

OBJ: I'm just not sure

AI was stripped of his captaincy after the first game, then has been mediocre at best (though they have probably been holding him back to make sure they got the trade across)

Plus, he's a way-undersized guard who gets his shots from his speed and agility, things that quickly leave you when you get to be his age

I LOVE AI, but he's been dropping statistically for 3 years now

Which, granted, is easy to do after his insane runs 04-06

JF: yeah but he'll get to be the go to guy on Detroit

OBJ: That being said, I also don't know about trading away someone who was possibly the fabric of your team

I mean, he earned the Finals MVP, which is more than I can say for several players

JF: that was 4 years ago…4 years ago everyone had a mike vick madden cardboard cutout in their college apartment

OBJ: That's a dicey situation...bringing in someone that doesn't like to practice for someone who's known as one of the better guys in the league

And yes I know that was a cheap shot

OBJ: What does Mike Vick lookin boy have to do with anything?

JF: so if not Detroit, who's your east #1 then?

OBJ: I mean right now it's got to be the Celtics

FUCK I wish one of us had NBA Ticket...Yao, Ron-Ron and T-Mac against Pierce, KG and Ray Ray tonite

JF: no championship hangover?

OBJ: I really want to see how AI does in Deeetroit, and I may move them ahead 1/3 of the way through

JF: one of those guys gonna get inj

well KG prolly wont

but i could def see Ray-Ray missing time

OBJ: But if there is one, ONLY one player you can count on not to lose his intensity, despite winning a championship, it be KG

By that logic injuries could befall anyone

Are we assuming likelihood of injuries affecting the team or are we assuming level playing field with all players healthy?

JF: just sayin, could see an injury in their future, thats all

kinda old nucleus

but either way

Boston a safe #1

OBJ: Detriot's getting up there too

JF: #2? DEE-TROIT

Detroit got a really young athletic talented bench

all those guys getting 15-20mpg

the geriatrics gonna be able to get some rest

OBJ: Celtics bench young too man

OBJ: Damn. Did you know our very own Atlanta Hawks went 2-0 for the first time since '99?

Sheezus

But yes, Deeeetroit, Baaaasketball clear #2

Practice???

JF: I'm pumped bout the hawks

39 more wins to go til .500!

that leaves #3

any way lebron doesn't lift the Cavs here?

they'll get something for Wally before the trade deadline

OBJ: Wally's contract expiring?

JF: yeah

so theyll get something for it

OBJ: Dunno what they'll get

maybe some bionic legs for Big Ben Wallace

JF: tho with the deals they been making lately unsure if theyll get any real value

i really like the Mo Williams pickup anyways

so lets give the cavs the TREY spot

....and now we dealing with a huge dropoff

OBJ: HUGE dropoff

I'm thinking the dropoff begins at #2, and falls precipitously after 3

JF: man we gave the spurts shit for their weak ass roster after Duncan-Manu-Parker

Cavs roster after LeBron maybe worst in the L

OBJ: Wait wait. I'm confused,

You're saying that after Lebron, the Cavs have the worst roster in the entire NBA?

JF: i mean thats off the top of my head so not 100%

but damn yo

when your 2nd best players Mo Williams and Zig Iggy

that 'taint good unless you got da king

Spurs #4-12 tho the worst shit ive ever seen

OBJ: Yeah it's really bad

put a 56-year old Finley on there and it may be 3-12 right now

JF: best of the worst in east?

lets see heeeugh

Toronto?

solid, plays well together...i love that offense...assist machine at PG

J-O'N might be washed up but having him down there frees up bosh on both ends of the court

Philly getting mad hype, but I like them

solid vets, Brand, Miller, Iggy, Dalembert

Williams and Young off the bench

nice team

but if that’s not a second-round ceiling i don’t know what is

JF: so seach for #4 continues

you aint impressed w/ Raps/Sixers?

Orlando...again, other than Dwight Howard, not much there

except you know i love Stan Van

OBJ: The Pacers are getting much ballyhoo...

JF: ...for having the worst team in the east?

or for successfully being able to feature a team of 50% white guys

OBJ: Actually the Pacers are on the front page of the WWL right now

"Take these Pacers seriously!"

'parently they blew out the Celts

JF: damn best 1-1 team ever!

OBJ: Anyways

I honestly think the Hawks could be the 4the best team in the East IF everything goes right

so, basically, if the opposite of the GA-FLA game happens, they've got a real shot

JF: hah yeah

they have to suffer zero injuries

like not one

but stranger things have happened

OBJ: No injuries + no fights with the coaching staff

JF: I think my #4 and #5 I'm going with Philly-Toronto

in what im sure will be an epic seven game battle for the right to be promptly swept by the Celtics

OBJ: I think you're just cautious about the Hawks, but I'm going to go Philly 4, Toronto 6

JF: Hawks 5?

OBJ: Hawks in the 5 spot

JF: WOAH

my bad

forget the dropoff

i love the heat

Heat #4

OBJ: damn really

JF: Heat #4 by a nice margin

yeah

eveyone disagreeing on this

i mean DWade looks healthy as fuck

OBJ: I think they'll make the playoffs

JF: Marion doing his typical matrix shit

Beasley...eh, he could be good

you like them lower than 6 damn

i gots Heat 4, Raps 5, Sixers 6

and I think the Heat can take any of the BIG THREE in a playoff series

you gots Philly 4, ATL 5, Raps 6

...Heat # 7?

OBJ: For now, yes

I want to wait and see what they do with that team

JF: playin it safe

OBJ: I don't think Riley will pay Marion what he's expecting, and that means he could be out by the midway point of the season

Yup, you got me. 'Cause picking the Hawks at #5 is definitely the safe pick

Asshole

JF: blow me

JF: i'll put ATL at #7

homer as hell ha

nobody in their right mind picking ATL to make the playoffs

much less two folk

OBJ: well I've got a really good feeling about them

And for my last team in the East...

JF: the chi?

OBJ: Orl?

JF: damn true dat

i gotta move ORL ahead of ATL

ATL gets #8

but Chi might be real close and is prolly the better pick

Derrick Rose looks like the real

and they just underachieved last year

if Vinny Del Negro can coach worth a shit, he could have a solid team on his hands

Sent at 4:49 PM on Tuesday

OBJ: Actually, I'm putting Boston, Detriot, Cavs, Philly, ATL, Magic, Heat, Raps

JF: cool

I got Detroit, Boston, Cavs, Heat, Philly, Toronto, Magic, ATL

OBJ: I'm sure that ATL pick will look nearly as rredick as GUA #1

JF: oh it already does

now...postseason...who you got in the WCF/ECF?

Boston/DET another foregone conclusion?

I like Cleveland/Detroit in the east finals and LAL/SAS in the west

OBJ: damn really

you hate the Celts

I'm going to have to make another bet with you about those Celtics

teach you not to bet against them

OBJ: So you think Boston won't be the #1 seed?

JF: people wanna forget yo

they struggled in the playoffs last year

JF: didnt look good til the last couple weeks

they were mad dogs going into the finals yo

OBJ: I thought they was gonna win that

JF: KG STILL didnt step it up like da main

and dap

but still

they aint no lizock

so you got BOS and CLE in ECF

WCF?

OBJ: Yeah BOS CLE

wait

whoever #1 and #2 seeds are

so if it's CLE and BOS, then there you go

JF: you got BOS-DET

OBJ: if DET has the home advantage over CLE in the 2nd round, I'm going with DET

JF: which would mean DET-CLE winner plays BOS

gotcha

word

nice hedge

finals

OBJ: hey

JF: safest pick in the book

LAL over Team X

OBJ: I mean, Bron plays one more at home last year and he may be going to the finals

JF: in my case, DEE-TROIT

tis true

i think LeBron can actually win a G7 on the road too

he aint faded

OBJ: Lebron is fucking insane

he is the anti-A-Rod A-Rod

JF: good word choice

that’s interesting

i remember reading an old post on Yay! sports comparing Bron to AROD

as in, LeBron is like AROD

just a machine

pure hype, pure results

OBJ: I mean, he's the clear-cut #1 player in his sport, for the next several years. But people actually root for him

JF: driven by talent, but lacking that competitive desire to HAVE TO WIN AND DOMINATE AND RIP YOUR MUTHERFUCKING HEART OUT that MJ had

Yay! said LeBron, like Arod, wants to win, but only as it is good for "The Brand"

i dont think LeBron is like ARod tho

i not one to get caught up in celebrity gossip...really i actually hate it...but this madonna thing a big WTF to me re: arod

like, straight up, i don’t get that dude

he can mash

but no clue what up there

like i had any idea before

anyways yeah LAL over DET

another flashack to 80s

whatsayyou?

OBJ: I say I think A-Rods got serious mental problems

and I think 'Bron DOES have the MJ Edge, so to speak

speaking of edge I need a new RB on my fantasy team

I just bring it up because they're the best in their sports

In the Finals

I'm picking

Lakers Cavs

Based on '

'Bron's unquenchable desire to prove he's the best and dominate Kobe in the Finals

Which I would personally love to see

JF: daaamn

and you see dat happening

ie. Cavs winning it all

OBJ: of course not

But this wouldn't be no Sue's picks if we just played it safe

and remember...

JF: true

OBJ: Anything's POSSIBUUUUUUUULLLLL!!!!!!!"

JF: people dont just come here for the colorful sidebar

OBJ: 'Bron wants to show that the parity, and fun, is back in the East

So I spose that's it

'Bron is my pick for MVP

JF: NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND

oh

well now that’s it

yeah Bron my pick too

with some sympathy/kitch/dumb votes to CP3

rookie of the year?

OBJ: CP3 could very well win it

If Kobe had won an MVP he would've had it last year

of course, the Rockets could go all out this year, ball they fuckin brains out, and not one of those three would get consideration

you think a Rockets - Cavs Finals would be proVOCaTIVe?

JF: yeah, you got dat Rockets itch

if that happens ill run down Peachtree street naked ala Hey Jenny Slater

OBJ: ic

Well I think the Rockets have a really good shot man

don't sell 'em short

I think the East is a lot more volatile right now than the West

when we revisit, say...midpoint? We should know more, but methinks the West will look similar while the East will be shaken quite the hell up

OBJ:

JF: sorry

yeah def we'll revisit all year to

yo*

that one thing bout NBA

good teams always seemingly good

all year

bad teams gonna be bad

like, you know the Nets and Bucks aint gonna be surprising anyone this year

complete opposite of NFL

youd think that would breed familiarity/boredom

but i love it