Running around to Give you the Reacharound


BLOGASM 11.20 - In which we sit bored at work...

...while consuming a healthy diet of Christmas popcorn and Grizzly Mint.

(enter GMAIL) On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 12:55 PM, Joe Friday wrote:

You know it's a slow news day when this headline makes the front page of

Aaron Heilman is demanding a starting spot, or a trade.

Seriously? Dude, do you not think the Mets have been trying to trade you for the last couple of seasons? You're a terrible middle reliever, which by default, makes you about as bad a pitcher as exists in major league baseball. Best case scenerio, you and Kyle Davies combine to hold up the front end of the Royals AAA affiliate's rotation. My two favorite parts of the article:

Heilman's agent, Mark Rodgers, told the New York Daily News, "The object is to get out of the bullpen. The most success he's ever had as a pitcher has been as a starting pitcher. He was drafted by the Mets as a starting pitcher."

...followed by this money line...

Heilman, drafted out of Notre Dame in 2001, made 25 starts from 2003 to 2005, going 5-13 with a 5.93 ERA. In 2006, however, he was moved to the bullpen, where he has served as a set-up man. Last season, he finished 3-8 with a 5.21 ERA, with five blown saves, and gave up 44 earned runs, the most in his three seasons as a reliever.

Great success story there, buddy. Way to know your client's strong points.

Omar Minaya would be lucky to get a handjob from a pregnant Atlantic City whore for this guy. At least that article was good for a midday laugh.


On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 2:43 PM, Osama Ben Jammin' wrote:

I sincerely do not know where else to take this. I read the article and was all set to hunker down on my keyboard and mash out the exact same thing. Unfortunate.

I guess the only thing I can say is that, did you know he was only 30? Is he one of the oldest looking 30-year olds you've ever seen? Greg Oden thinks this guy looks distinguished.

Speaking of a slow day in sports, how's about Matt Ryan the Savior of Everything to be Saved being on the front page of the WWL?

I feel...conflicted. I love Michael Vick. But, apparently, so does Ryan. Used to play as the Falcons every time he played Madden? Man whenever I watched people play Madden I always demanded someone be the Falcons. This tells me unequivocally that Matt Ryan is a HUGE Mike Vick supporter. Hell, his dad even said he raised his son making sure that he had no sense of entitlement. These days, that's a tough thing to do.

On the other hand, I long for the days of Vick scrambling around for 5 seconds until he bursts down the field, jukes out 3-5 guys in the secondary, gains 35 yards and steps out of bounds to save the clock. Dude was ridiculous fast, too. It's kind of like when your parents get divorced I think. Like, no matter how badass and more sober your stepfather is, many times he'll never replace your real father and will only serve to make you have more contempt for your other parental figure (in this case, stretching the analogy to a ridiculous degree, the organization).

At this point I feel this completely unfair to Mr. Ryan. I still think we'll see him have a huge dropoff sophomore season, but at this point you need to ask yourself, "what else could I possibly want from my new franchise quarterback?"

Wondering where such high-quality journalism originated, luckily the following paragraph assured me that it was most certainly an O-Ridge report from the AJC:

One place you won't find Ryan is the Web-networking phenomenon Facebook -- at least, not anymore.

"Our junior year, when he was starting to be known as a good player, he was on Facebook," Poles said. "But 90 percent of his friends' list was male. There were hardly any girls. We used to rip him apart for that -- here's one of the top QBs in college, and almost all his friends were guys. That's why he's no longer on there."

Hmm. Straight-edge kind of guy. Doesn't electrocute puppies. Not bigheaded. Loyal to girlfriend? Who the hell does this guy think he is?


On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 3:55 PM, Joe Friday wrote:

Give me a break. Everybody wanted to be the Falcons for those couple of years on Madden. Marcus Vick's ex-girlfriend's brother prolly fought with his boys for the right to play Video Vick in those days. Anyways, co-sign me on Ryan's Sophomore Slump. In fact, I'll go a step further and say it starts right now. Before the season, I had the Falcons penned for 4 I'll go with 7.

Believe me, I was wrong about Sir Ryan. His accuracy (Vick's biggest weakness) is impeccable for a rookie. He is calm in two minute drives and manages the game well. His arm strength and mobility is better than what I remember from his senior season at BC. That being said though, the whole "OUR FRANCHISE QB HAS ARRIVED" talk is fairly premature. Case in point, Vick's stats from his first year as a starter (2002) vs. Ryan's.

Record Comp % Passing Yds/game Rushing Yds/game TD's INT
Vick 8-6-1 54.90% 195.7 51.8 24 (8 rush) 8
Ryan 6-4 59.70% 215.9 7.2 11 6

Taking everything into account, I'd say it is a pretty close call. What Ryan is doing as a true rookie is impressive, no doubt, but if there is anything that an Atlanta NFL fan should know, it is the fleeting nature of early QB success stories. Let's not clear off a spot for him in the Falcons Ring of Fame just yet.


Alright, how does the news that Chase Utley, who always seems to be on whatever team wins the friggin' championship every year in any fantasy league I am in, is out until June after hip surgery affect his draft status in fantasy. Does he still go in the first 2-3 rounds? Slip until the 8th round? Further? Playing russian roulette with an injured player in a fantasy draft (while nobody in the draft room dares to mention his name) is one of the most tense situations one can deal with while sitting in front of a computer screen feeling like a total geek. I'm looking forward to our draft already.


Last year, any win in any situation against the Wizards would have been a welcome addition to a stagnant W column. This year? The Hawks and Wizards played a crapfest in front of a half-empty Philips Arena, and I couldn't even get too excited about a win over a depleted Wizards bunch that was seemingly freezing out their only available offensive weapon. Ok, that's a lie. I was pumped as hell about this ugly win against a 1-9 team.

Still though...the one thing the Hawks needed to catch a break on this year was injuries. Three of the top seven in the rotation (and pretty much our entire low-post presence) are injured right now. Marvin is manning up as much as possible, and Zaza somehow pulled down 18 boards on a bum arm last night, but the Hawks need Smith and Horford can heal up as much and as fast as possible before anymore four-game losing streaks occur. With the streaky shooters on this team, we can not live and die by the jump shot, as we saw during last week's games against the Nets. Either way, I haven't enjoyed an NBA November this much in years.


On Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 5:43 PM, Osama Ben Jammin' wrote:

Falcons Ring of Fame? Who exactly would that include other than Jamal Anderson? I'm thinking really hard here...

Excellent head-to-head graphic (except for the lack of any graphic element, of course). Personally, I think what's missing here is quarterback rating and, more importantly, ranking. I'm thinking Matt Ryan is stacking up quite nicely against other NFL passers in the league right now. But after FJM's funeral the other day, I can't bring myself to look up any statistics. It's just...too early.


Try picking up Utley in the 8th round, and see what happens.

The best case scenario is still a return to baseball activity in early April, worst case late-May or June. I'm willing to gamble on that and pick up Utley very, very early. Like the 5th round if he's still there. Oh, and the reason he's been on several fantasy championship teams is not because of him, it's because whichever fantasy manager has a tendency to pick up players like Utley - somehow low-key, super-productive in several categories. In other words, not the Sheffields and RanJos that we pick up.


As far as our Baby Hawks, check this out: Atlanta is currently 7-4, one game behind Orlando in the Southeastern Division. Upcoming games are Charlotte, at Cleveland, Milwaukee, at Toronto and at Washington. These are the remainder of the games for the Hawks' 2008 November. Now, first of all it's amazing to look at all of these, and really any game and think they're winnable. The Hawks of the past few years could hang with the best, but you knew they'd inevitably lose. With that said, I see the Hawks finishing 3-2 in that stretch, at the least. Editor's note: just don't check out the December schedule, which includes the still-brutal at Dallas, at Houston and at San Antonio (with at Miami following to boot!)

The Magic, on the other hand, are at Indiana, Houston, Milwaukee, at Philadelphia, at Washington and Indiana. I'm thinking 3-3 here for Orlando.

Either way, we have something to watch for in November with the Hawks, which is in incredible and (sigh) a welcome addition to my normally-college-football-entrenched sports season peak. This is going to be interesting.


1 comment:

Jesse said...

Jessie Tuggle would be the first person that comes to mind for the Ring of Fame. After that, flip a coin I suppose.