Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Final Thoughts on Jacksonville

Hey BLUE! See if you can guess what I want you to do here...

I'll hit 'em high hit 'em high hit 'em high...

Ah, aren't oldies great? Seriously though what is a sick beat with B. Real and Busta Busta (with LL Smooth [and Coolio and Meth]) throwing lyrics like this doing in Space Jam with MJ:

It's like inch by inch and step by step
I'm closing in on your position and destruction is my mission
Though eight is not enough, your whole squad better duck

It's like switch when I bust

Now you're whole crew is dust

Wasn't that a kid's movie? The fuck's wrong with you MJ? Doing music vids with Crazy MJ and subjecting young kids to this type of unreasonable violence? Space JAM!!! It ain't, uh too much, no no JAM!!! Nah, but I see your point. That could easily be interpreted as basketball speak to talk smack for the Monstars. Nope. No gratuitous examples of "capping" or violence there.

And yet I thankfully digress. Last weekend was so last weekend. Like so last year, actually. And I'm not 'gonna drop tears on stat sheets or express my crestfallen disappointment. A disappointment that yields only pain and remorse. A disappointment that, seriously folks, feels like I dropped a car battery on my dick.

We lost, by a lot, plain and simple. I'm not the Stat Man (bee bop bop buutop bup!!) so, again, I'm not going to delve in that direction. Some of the best not-too-reactionary thoughts I've uncovered can be found in The Rant:

"But I can't take this anymore. I miss the "Lips Jar." The jar created by Brian Van Gorder for opposing players' paper lips (or maybe even entire heads) to be placed in after a large hit. I miss the headhunters of Greg Blue and Thomas Davis. I miss the motor of David Pollack and the determination of Charles Grant. I miss the speed and tenacity of Odell Thurman."

Yeah. I miss you too Davis. Those sideline melon exploding hits were the highlights of several of my younger years. Blue, you know you're my boy. The Rant is dead on in questioning the current ability and momentum of our current defensive coaching staff. It's not our players. And while the offense seemed they wanted to give it to the Gators more than a girlfriend they hadn't seen in several months, we lost yet another game where we had more yards than a team that blew us out (398-393). K so 'Bammer got 10 more yards than us it was close.

Look, the point is bad things happen(ed) in Jacksonville. Shit. The last time I went, also Halloween on a Friday, I lost a $300 pair of sunglasses, my two favorite hats and took a dip in the fountain. With my cellie. Oh and we lost. Things get broken people. People catch infections, girls fall and scratch their knees, and you constantly lose or don't reach out to your friends (Sorry Jesse!).

But you can still have a good time. You never feel good about the loss, any loss, especially these of this kind. JEEZ-us. But what I have for you is something to contemplate. All of us take a Georgia loss seriously. Some shut down for weeks, even months for this kind of gut-buster.

The following is a list in no particular order of what could allow your Georgia/Florida weekend to be satisfying, even with a Georgia loss:
  • Mind-blowing life-altering sex
  • Reuniting with old friends
  • Copious amounts of alcohol
  • More sex, mixed with nasty and vodka
  • Mystery pills
  • Hotel-stenching grass
  • More alcohol and drugs
  • Enough good friends and badass smoke and alcohol to temporarily forget where you are, and what took place
  • Falling in love. With a non-Gator
  • More booze

If you had five of the above, you may have been able to forget like her

Moving forward to Kentucky, folks. I was hoping for the Capitol One bowl somewhere in the 3rd quarter. You may have seen me. I was the one with the jorts 'wearin Gator finger attached to the meth head pointing in my face for two hours. Let's get it done, and...[sigh]...finish the drill.

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