Bawlin' Cawlin' 04-15-09: Special Fare Thee Well Edition

Let's revisit some of those bold, seemingly magical predictions, shall we?

Well it's been fun, people. Down the amazing stretch, SJF and I are tied at an amazing 15-8 apiece. That's good enough for an above-65% hitting. Not bad for your intrepid reporters here at Sue's. Hopefully some of you out there took advantage of our degenerate scumbag gambling tendencies (I was thinking to myself how pathetic it was we bet $100+on the All Star game...then realized we've been doing it for four years running and quieted my conscience, quickly) and made an easy buck. If you didn't, well, there's never a shortage of wagers here at Sue's, so stop being a SISSY and lay it on the line, people!

This seems a good time to look back at our predictions from October. It'll be interesting to see the symmetry between Friday's cerebral look at the predictability of the NBA and our preseason predictions. Mind you, this isn't necessarily to gauge how well our predictions panned out, but more to put them all in a concise and referential location. Note to aspiring sports bloggers: it is not advisable to bury your season predictions in a 26-page G-Chat (two-parter). Now, let's take a look at those picks!

Western Conference
Random OBJ Prediction Part I: The Rockets would be a formidable team in the West, lead by a rejuvenated T-Mac
Result: 50/50. The Rockets are a team to watch in the West, currently the 3rd seed, but it has nothing to do with McGrady.

Random OBJ Prediction Part II: His love affair with T-Mac will end soon
Result: Dead on. To me, T-Mac is dead and gone.

Random SJF Prediction: The Nuggets are D-U-N.
Result: Yowzers. Well, now way we could've seen the AI-Billups trade arriving, so no shame here.

OBJ and SJF Combined Prediction: The Mavericks' run as an elite Western Conference team is over.
Result: Dallas is currently the number 7 seed in the West, and is likely looking at a 3rd-straight opening round departure from the playoffs. What's done is done.
SJF Western Conference Seeding Prediction:

1. Lakers
2. Jazz
3. New Orleans
4. Houston
5. San Antonio
6. Dallas
7. Phoenix
8. Portland
   

OBJ Western Conference Seeding Prediction:

1. Lakers
2. Rockets
3. New Orleans
4. San Antonio
5. Jazz
6. Phoenix
7. Dallas
8. Denver

Actual (Assuming Seeding Remains Constant):

1. Lakers
2. Denver
3. Houston
4. Portland
5. San Antonio
6. New Orleans
7. Dallas
8. Utah

So we were both pretty close, with a few key - however small - differences. We both hit on two, which is just a wee bit unfair considering the whole Lakers-at-the-top thing. But the convoluted nature of the top of the West should not be forgotten when looking at this, either. With the exception of one team each, both Joe Friday and I nailed all of the playoff teams in the West. The only difference is that, while we both thought Phoenix would be in the mix this year, yours truly still had the Nuggets in while Friday was keen enough to know Portland was going to be on there shit. Considering the 2-5 seeds in the West are separated by one game, I'd say that our stamp of "PREDICTABLE" for the NBA still shows brightly.

Eastern Conference
We produced these predictions the day after the AI trade, which had Friday drooling all over the Piston while I was slowly shoveling the last few piles of dirt on the grave that was AI's career. Just more evidence that OBJ should be your go-to guy for everything sports, and Joe Friday's a tool. And hey, while I LOVE me some vanilla Snack Packs, fuck the puddin' ya'll the proof's in SJF's retarded post praising AI as The Answer in Detroit.

Random SJF Prediction: One of the Big Three in Boston will get injured in Boston, but it probably will not be Garnett.
Result: 50/50. Not too bad, Friday.

Random OBJ Prediction: Pat Riley will not be prepared to pay The Matrix what he wants, and he'll be shipped out before the midway point.
Result: Dead fuckin' on, that's the result bitches!

SJF Eastern Conference Seeding Prediction (4-8):
1. Detroit
2. Boston
3. Cleveland
4. Miami
5. Philadelphia
6. Toronto
7. Orlando
8. ATLANTA

OBJ Eastern Conference Seeding Prediction (4-8):
1. Boston
2. Detriot
3. Cleveland
4. Philadelphia
5. ATLANTA
6. Orlando
7. Miami
8. Toronto

Actual (Assuming Seeding Remains Constant):

1. Cleveland
2. Boston
3. Orlando
4. ATLANTA
5. Miami
6. Chicago
7. Philadelphia
8. Detroit

Some common themes here, folks. Looks like we both had Toronto ranked, we'll say, slightly too high, and neither of us anticipated Chicago making the playoffs. Detriot at #8 would've been a huge shock to us then, as it remains so now. The runaway MOST AWESOME BADASS PREDICTION of the year? Let's just say all the shit Joe Friday gave me for picking Atlanta #5 wasn't met with a grimace on his part, but if self-dap were actually possible I'd make myself a goddamn dap sundae for seeing the Hawks coming.

OBJ Playoff Predictions:
Boston vs. Cleveland in the Eastern Conference Championship
San Antonio vs. Los Angeles in the Western Conference Championship

NBA Finals: Cavaliers over Lakers

SJF Playoff Predictions:
Boston vs. Detriot in the Eastern Conference Championship
Lakers vs. Jazz in the Western Conference Championship

NBA Finals: Lakers over Pistons

Sue's MVP Prediction:
We both agreed on Lebron. Go fig.

On to the picks!!

You just witnessed a fairly impressive display of prediction-producing prowess.

Records
OBJ: 15-8
Joe Friday: 15-8

This is it. For all the marbles, the whole shebang and ever other contrivance you could possibly come up with. I'm so geeked I can smell the excitement seeping through my jeans and running down my leg.

Today's Picks
Okay. This time we're going to make DAMN sure there's no tie, opting to go with an unprecedented THREE picks each!

OBJ 1: Orlando (-2.5) over Charlotte
What is this?? Is D-Howard not playing? Is someone injured?? I couldn't find any news WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SPREAD ALL ABOUT??

OBJ 2: Houston (+1) over Dallas
Don't make me look STUPID for calling out how GOOD you guys were going to be, H-Town.

OBJ 3: Denver/Portland Over 198.5
Man, oh man I was tempted to go with the Hawks losing by less than 7 to Memphis, but they balled yesterday and I'm trying to play it as safe as possible. Sorry Baby Hawks!

Joe Friday 1: Dallas +1 over Houston

Joe Friday 2: Cleveland + 3.5 over Philly

Joe Friday 3: New Orleans +9 over San Antonio