Now I don't have to see this on television ever again. Peace out, Stafford.
We're proud and delighted to bring to you today a special guest contributor. Sue's hasn't quite convinced him to establish a witty handle that implies animality, midget sex or bodily fluids, so for now you will read him - and you will know him by the striking efficiency of his prose - as Slade.
Take it away, Slade.
It’s no secret how one Sue’s bloggers feels about Matthew Stafford. For this reason, they have outsourced this story to a self-admitted Georgia homer. I am also my own best devil’s advocate, which makes for some unfocused if not wishy-washy journalism. Hey, I’m no professional. Ever since Matt pulled a Kenny Powers, turned to his agent and said, “Get me paid, bitch!” he should leave his spirit towel at East Campus Village because he AIN'T Georgia. Plus, Joe C. could use it to wipe his brow. You know he’s sweatin’ it. Here’s what we know about Stafford: 6'-3", 238, laser rocket arm, above average wonderlic score. How does this translate to the NFL? I don’t know but allow me to hypothesize.
Congratulations on just becoming the number one pick in this year’s NFL draft. Pressure is on. You can thank Matt Ryan for that. Now the Lions have just come off a 0-16 season, a feat only replicated one other time in history (let us Gator haters pause to remember who led the ’76 Bucs onto the field every game that year… ah, our only reprieve!). OK, pressure is off. Now I haven’t seen many Lions games last year (read: none), but they could have only been a couple of well-executed plays away from at least one win. There is nowhere for the Lions to go but up…barring another winless season. Here’s what he's workin’ with: though he may be a formal rival, Calvin Johnson is a big target, an incredible athlete and will be paramount to Stafford’s success. Fortunately, Johnson does not seem petty enough to intentionally sabotage both of their careers. Matt will not have the benefit of a strong running game, like those he enjoyed in Athens. The Lions also have a new GM, a new head coach and now a new QB to complete an Obama-sized trifecta of hope. Here’s hoping he can get a couple of wins and not embarrass himself.
I expect a similar showing to the year he last stepped up the competition: 7 TD, 13 INT, 52.7% comp in his freshman year with the Bulldogs. By this, if he throws just as many touchdowns as interceptions and passes with 50% efficiency, I would call it a good first season on the job - assuming he makes it that far. The Lions faithful would probably disagree and, realistically, they would be right. Those kinds of performances do not earn one the right to start games. I would not be surprised if he gets hit hard early and throws one of his patented “ring-neck clipped by bird shot” passes at some point during his first start.
A glimpse into Stafford's pro career?
Just check Sportscenter. Every time they feature Stafford, which they did sparingly in the past few weeks, they air a clip showcasing said pass that only a receiver like AJ Green or, presumably and hopefully for the Lions franchise (not to mention the city of Detriot), Calvin Johnson.
Is Stafford overhyped? Absolutely. Over-rated? Maybe. Over-excited? I am. So he’s got his childhood dream to be an NFL quarterback. What is he going to do with this opportunity? He already has his $48 million in the bank. From what I know of the NFL retirement policies, he’ll be giving someone 4 good years.