Sobered Up - Week 11

Now featuring an actual defense! And yes, this is still a football post.

We watched the Hawks improve to an inexplicable 4-0 on Friday night and still manage to shoot themselves in the foot (seriously, any article that leads with a sentence including the words "Solomon Jones" and "more playing time" is NOT good). Somewhere between the end of the third quarter (when the game was effectively over) and before getting "environmental hazard" citations on MARTA (don't ask), it became clear to me that the sports-focused portion of my mind is now on the NBA, not college football. I feel like a prick for watching the UGA-UK game with all the interest and attention I would pay to my three-year-old neice's ballet recital, and yet I couldn't help it. You have spoiled us, Mark Richt. Two loss seasons, while now commonplace, are somehow unacceptable. This must be how Yankee Fan lives his day-to-day. Great.

Now onto the thoughts on the weekend that was in college football...

I've done a complete 180 on Texas Tech. Not only do I think they're for real (although I still think they will lose to Oklahoma), but I am ready to anoint Michael Crabtree the best player in America and give him the Heisman. Dude is sick, and yet...

...I still have the feeling that Tim Tebow will be walking away with that golden, ultimately meaningless, statue in mid-December. And honestly, that wouldn't be such a bad thing either. Everyone's favorite mohel still only had 17 passing attempts in a 42-14 rout of Vandy. Combined with his 11 carries, that was good enough for 5 touchdowns. In other words, in almost 20% of the time Tebow was the primary playmaker on a play, the Gators scored a touchdown. The Bobs would be happy with his guy.

The pleasure is all on this side of the table, Tim.

Penn State: Thanks for playing. I'm not sure I could have dealt with a national title game where one of the head coaches was eating nachos in a press box during the third quarter. Enjoy the Rose Bowl. And screw the Big 10.

Oklahoma's defense is still suspect, giving up 28 points to Texas A&M. Although at this point, I'm not sure the Big 12 hasn't morphed into some uber-version of the Pac-10, where offense runs the show and defense is an afterthought.

I really don't have much else to say about this weekend other than Brian Kelly will not be at Cincinnati next year (lay it down...Muschamp to Clemson, Leach to Tennessee, Butch Davis erecting a house made of pure gold in Chapel Hill), so let's go to Georgia's fun, if not ultimately disappointing win in the bluegrass state....

I'm really, really, really glad Mohammed Massaquoi redeemed himself with a long reception on the last play of the drive after two costly fumbles on the previous two possessions. After the second fumble, I remember thinking, "is this how MoMass is going to be remembered? With two bad fumbles in a loss to Kentucky during a wasted season?" Luckily, no. And that's great. Massaquoi has been nothing short of solid, dependable and a damn good dawg for the last four years, and his line from Saturday (8 receptions, 191 yards) will be what was remembered from this game, not the two fumbles. Hell yes.

That winning TD pass from Stafford to Green. Wow. That's what happens when two NFL-caliber talents hook up (no homo). Green was surrounded by more dudes than a girl at a sausage fest, jumped up in the only place he could, and grabbed a perfect throw from Stafford, who had broken two tackles and eluded a well-placed blitz. Just an awesome play. I'd say a few more of those in the Alabama/Florida games would have been nice, but I'm going to try and avoid the blogger/hater stereotype, at least for this week.

On that note...I don't want to join the "Fire Willie Martinez" chorus of Georgia fans just yet...but it is clear something has to be done. 129 points allowed in the last three games...ain't gonna work, I'm just saying.

"See that scoreboard? Imma light that bitch up."

Onto Sue's Top 10 (+ Mumme Poll extra two)...

1. Alabama - You do not get dropped for a hard-fought road win in the SEC against a rival. Period.

2. Texas Tech - Color me impressed. Yes, I realize this is the 80th time I've said that over the last two weeks, but I have to make up for the previous 9 weeks of believing they were nothing more than a gimmick offense that would get outgunned by Kansas.

3. Florida - Yeah, I know we try and play the whole "who would beat who on a neutral field" when comprising this list, but I ain't gonna lie. I think, on this day, November 10th, Florida is the best team in the nation.

4. Texas - Look, at this point, we know who the Top 10 teams in the nation are. They ain't changing for the most part. So let's just run the rest of these down and appreciate the top-heavy competition the Big 12 and SEC have provided us with.

5. Oklahoma
6. USC
7. Penn State
8. Oklahoma State
9. Ohio State
10. Georgia

Mumme Mumme: Mizzou and Utah. Barring any jarring upsets or a strong finish by LSU, these are your Top 12 teams in college football the rest of the season. Deal with it, for better or worse.

Shotcallin' - Week 11

When Kansas State hired Ron Prince prior to the 2006 season, I felt it was a dumb hire. Three years as offensive coordinator of a mediocre-at-best Virginia offense did not scream "HO SHIT HIRE THIS GUY!!!!111" to me. Regardless of my feelings then, his firing on Wednesday feels completely unjustified and premature.

First of all, it's Kansas State. Their program patriarch, Bill Snyder, won two-thirds of his games in Manhattan, and no other coach is even close. Except for a few brief years in the late 90's, K-State has never been a national program. In fact, Prince's 16-18 record gives him the second best winning % among K-State coaches.

Even though it was highly unlikely Prince would ever achieve attainable success with the Wildcats, his firing has me steamed because dude was given LESS THAN THREE FULL SEASONS TO RUN THIS PROGRAM. Is college football suddenly like the NHL when it comes to coaching tenures? Was K-State so enamored with Ron Prince during the hiring process that they were expecting 8-10 win seasons out of the gate? This was not a good team during Snyder's last few years on the sidelines. It has been, and will continue to be, a major rebuilding effort. I believe that college coaches should always be allowed to see their first recruiting class graduate. In addition, Prince signed 17 JUCO players this past offseason. Those guys have played 9 games. If the administration is willing to allow he coach to sign 17 JUCO players (a major WTF in the first place), at least have the decency to let the plan run it's course.

And, not wanting to go all Terrance Moore/Scoop Jackson on folks, but this only decreases the number of black D-1A coaches, already a touchy subject in the media and other diversity circles. Thinking back on Tyrone Willingham getting the early axe from Notre Dame and I hope we really aren't seeing a trend here. Even if you make a poor hire (and Willingham/Prince do fit in that category), at least let them ride out the first few bumpy seasons. Espicially at a 2nd tier program like Kansas State.

Then again, this is college football. Tommy Tuberville is apparantly on the hot seat despite being three seasons removed from an undefeated season and having a 34-14 record since that season. Would anyone Auburn could hire be able to achieve that level of success? Not bloody likely...and that is exactly how the Ron Prince's of the world get hired. You want job security? Become an assistant coach under Mark Richt.

Picks:

Kentucky (+10.5) over Georgia - $15

Georgia Tech (+4) over North Carolina - $10

Florida (-23.5) over Vanderbilt - $20

Arkansas (+13) over South Carolina - $10

Yeah, we struglin' this week fellas...

Sobered Up will be up Monday.

Last Week: 2-7

2008 Inferior Picks: 5-4

2008 Overall Record: 42-40-2

2008 Pot: $90

Final Thoughts on Jacksonville

Hey BLUE! See if you can guess what I want you to do here...

I'll hit 'em high hit 'em high hit 'em high...

Ah, aren't oldies great? Seriously though what is a sick beat with B. Real and Busta Busta (with LL Smooth [and Coolio and Meth]) throwing lyrics like this doing in Space Jam with MJ:

It's like inch by inch and step by step
I'm closing in on your position and destruction is my mission
Though eight is not enough, your whole squad better duck
It's like switch when I bust
Now you're whole crew is dust

Wasn't that a kid's movie? The fuck's wrong with you MJ? Doing music vids with Crazy MJ and subjecting young kids to this type of unreasonable violence? Space JAM!!! It ain't, uh too much, no no JAM!!! Nah, but I see your point. That could easily be interpreted as basketball speak to talk smack for the Monstars. Nope. No gratuitous examples of "capping" or violence there.

And yet I thankfully digress. Last weekend was so last weekend. Like so last year, actually. And I'm not 'gonna drop tears on stat sheets or express my crestfallen disappointment. A disappointment that yields only pain and remorse. A disappointment that, seriously folks, feels like I dropped a car battery on my dick.

We lost, by a lot, plain and simple. I'm not the Stat Man (bee bop bop buutop bup!!) so, again, I'm not going to delve in that direction. Some of the best not-too-reactionary thoughts I've uncovered can be found in The Rant:

"But I can't take this anymore. I miss the "Lips Jar." The jar created by Brian Van Gorder for opposing players' paper lips (or maybe even entire heads) to be placed in after a large hit. I miss the headhunters of Greg Blue and Thomas Davis. I miss the motor of David Pollack and the determination of Charles Grant. I miss the speed and tenacity of Odell Thurman."

Yeah. I miss you too Davis. Those sideline melon exploding hits were the highlights of several of my younger years. Blue, you know you're my boy. The Rant is dead on in questioning the current ability and momentum of our current defensive coaching staff. It's not our players. And while the offense seemed they wanted to give it to the Gators more than a girlfriend they hadn't seen in several months, we lost yet another game where we had more yards than a team that blew us out (398-393). K so 'Bammer got 10 more yards than us it was close.

Look, the point is bad things happen(ed) in Jacksonville. Shit. The last time I went, also Halloween on a Friday, I lost a $300 pair of sunglasses, my two favorite hats and took a dip in the fountain. With my cellie. Oh and we lost. Things get broken people. People catch infections, girls fall and scratch their knees, and you constantly lose or don't reach out to your friends (Sorry Jesse!).

But you can still have a good time. You never feel good about the loss, any loss, especially these of this kind. JEEZ-us. But what I have for you is something to contemplate. All of us take a Georgia loss seriously. Some shut down for weeks, even months for this kind of gut-buster.

The following is a list in no particular order of what could allow your Georgia/Florida weekend to be satisfying, even with a Georgia loss:

• Mind-blowing life-altering sex
• Reuniting with old friends
  
• Copious amounts of alcohol
• More sex, mixed with nasty and vodka
• Mystery pills
• Hotel-stenching grass
• More alcohol and drugs
• Enough good friends and badass smoke and alcohol to temporarily forget where you are, and what took place
• Falling in love. With a non-Gator
  
• More booze

If you had five of the above, you may have been able to forget like her

Moving forward to Kentucky, folks. I was hoping for the Capitol One bowl somewhere in the 3rd quarter. You may have seen me. I was the one with the jorts 'wearin Gator finger attached to the meth head pointing in my face for two hours. Let's get it done, and...[sigh]...finish the drill.

-------------------------------------------------------

Raiders Take a Hall, Pass

Much more of a lock than that "other" Hall

$8 millie and a second-round pick for 8 games, eh? I was surprised to learn that DeAngelo has 3 interceptions thus far, good for $2.67 millie per. But then there's the 48 tackles, good for $166,666.67 per tackle. Isn't math fun?

Hey Raiders! Don't you feel like you just got a two-dolla whore that fell asleep after taking one lick of your balls and chafing up and down your dick a few times with her teeth? If you weren't the Raiders with Al Davis's crazy senile ass running your busted ass sinking ship, I'd feel bad for you.

Dude, how bad do you have to be in order to be released from the Raiders while Starbury's still pulling $20+ millie riding the bench? That's just disgraceful. You must be some kind of jerk, Hall. I'm sure someone will pick you up, but other than that sweet ass verbal beat down you gave Petrino following his sudden departure to Arkansas, you really haven't done anything to make me think you have redeemable qualities. Godspeed, DeAngelo. Because you were a Falcon and had Vick's back, I'll always have yours.

But who will support you, Mr. Hall?

PART 2 of an Absurdly Long NBA Preview: Eastern Conference - Contenda's and Playoffs

OBJ: Okay so before we get started, I'd just like to ask a few questions because I've been out-of-pocket / cringing at the prospect of sports

JF: go

OBJ: Give me a quick update on the Marbury situation, Oden's injury and how a certain former Hawks star is doing in Greece

JF: hmm

1. Why you cringing at the prospect of sports?

2. Marbury on the inactive list for "foreseeable future" (/ D'Antoni quote)

3. Oden out 2-4 weeks, should be fine, still has 0 points for his career.

4. Nobody cares b/c Americans don’t follow European bball which is why no superstar in his prime will ever make that leap

OBJ: 1. a) Georgia season is shot. That is my ultimate fandom when it comes to sports and it has been wrenched from my lifeless hands. I feel like a lone knight on the battlefield of sports without his broadsword

4. Just because nobody cares doesn't mean I didn't ask. I was just curious how he was doing

3. 2-4 ain't bad at all

JF: I gots no clue how JChill doin

for all i know he could be rockin cornrows

OBJ: Re: Marbury, I just find it weird he's getting so much money from them, they are saying they (the Knicks) won't trade him, won't release him and won't buy him out. But he's not playing either?

That just makes no sense to me

JF: yeah

well

its the knicks

ive stopped trying to figure them out long ago

OBJ: And re: JChill I only ask because espn is now doing a "Top 10 Plays in Basketball from Europe!!"

JF: seriously?

OBJ: Childress' mug flashed on the cover

JF: ugh

Cant read Greek, maybe you’ll have better luck than me

OBJ: Florida on the cover of espn.com! Hey, espn! Go fuck yourself!!

Anyway our readers may find this interesting:

OBJ: Okay so gay euro-highlights aside, let's get into the East

JF: so were you as enamored with yesterday’s trade as i was

OBJ: I'm just not sure

AI was stripped of his captaincy after the first game, then has been mediocre at best (though they have probably been holding him back to make sure they got the trade across)

Plus, he's a way-undersized guard who gets his shots from his speed and agility, things that quickly leave you when you get to be his age

I LOVE AI, but he's been dropping statistically for 3 years now

Which, granted, is easy to do after his insane runs 04-06

JF: yeah but he'll get to be the go to guy on Detroit

OBJ: That being said, I also don't know about trading away someone who was possibly the fabric of your team

I mean, he earned the Finals MVP, which is more than I can say for several players

JF: that was 4 years ago…4 years ago everyone had a mike vick madden cardboard cutout in their college apartment

OBJ: That's a dicey situation...bringing in someone that doesn't like to practice for someone who's known as one of the better guys in the league

And yes I know that was a cheap shot

OBJ: What does Mike Vick lookin boy have to do with anything?

JF: so if not Detroit, who's your east #1 then?

OBJ: I mean right now it's got to be the Celtics

FUCK I wish one of us had NBA Ticket...Yao, Ron-Ron and T-Mac against Pierce, KG and Ray Ray tonite

JF: no championship hangover?

OBJ: I really want to see how AI does in Deeetroit, and I may move them ahead 1/3 of the way through

JF: one of those guys gonna get inj

well KG prolly wont

but i could def see Ray-Ray missing time

OBJ: But if there is one, ONLY one player you can count on not to lose his intensity, despite winning a championship, it be KG

By that logic injuries could befall anyone

Are we assuming likelihood of injuries affecting the team or are we assuming level playing field with all players healthy?

JF: just sayin, could see an injury in their future, thats all

kinda old nucleus

but either way

Boston a safe #1

OBJ: Detriot's getting up there too

JF: #2? DEE-TROIT

Detroit got a really young athletic talented bench

all those guys getting 15-20mpg

the geriatrics gonna be able to get some rest

OBJ: Celtics bench young too man

OBJ: Damn. Did you know our very own Atlanta Hawks went 2-0 for the first time since '99?

Sheezus

But yes, Deeeetroit, Baaaasketball clear #2

Practice???

JF: I'm pumped bout the hawks

39 more wins to go til .500!

that leaves #3

any way lebron doesn't lift the Cavs here?

they'll get something for Wally before the trade deadline

OBJ: Wally's contract expiring?

JF: yeah

so theyll get something for it

OBJ: Dunno what they'll get

maybe some bionic legs for Big Ben Wallace

JF: tho with the deals they been making lately unsure if theyll get any real value

i really like the Mo Williams pickup anyways

so lets give the cavs the TREY spot

....and now we dealing with a huge dropoff

OBJ: HUGE dropoff

I'm thinking the dropoff begins at #2, and falls precipitously after 3

JF: man we gave the spurts shit for their weak ass roster after Duncan-Manu-Parker

Cavs roster after LeBron maybe worst in the L

OBJ: Wait wait. I'm confused,

You're saying that after Lebron, the Cavs have the worst roster in the entire NBA?

JF: i mean thats off the top of my head so not 100%

but damn yo

when your 2nd best players Mo Williams and Zig Iggy

that 'taint good unless you got da king

Spurs #4-12 tho the worst shit ive ever seen

OBJ: Yeah it's really bad

put a 56-year old Finley on there and it may be 3-12 right now

JF: best of the worst in east?

lets see heeeugh

Toronto?

solid, plays well together...i love that offense...assist machine at PG

J-O'N might be washed up but having him down there frees up bosh on both ends of the court

Philly getting mad hype, but I like them

solid vets, Brand, Miller, Iggy, Dalembert

Williams and Young off the bench

nice team

but if that’s not a second-round ceiling i don’t know what is

JF: so seach for #4 continues

you aint impressed w/ Raps/Sixers?

Orlando...again, other than Dwight Howard, not much there

except you know i love Stan Van

OBJ: The Pacers are getting much ballyhoo...

JF: ...for having the worst team in the east?

or for successfully being able to feature a team of 50% white guys

OBJ: Actually the Pacers are on the front page of the WWL right now

"Take these Pacers seriously!"

'parently they blew out the Celts

JF: damn best 1-1 team ever!

OBJ: Anyways

I honestly think the Hawks could be the 4the best team in the East IF everything goes right

so, basically, if the opposite of the GA-FLA game happens, they've got a real shot

JF: hah yeah

they have to suffer zero injuries

like not one

but stranger things have happened

OBJ: No injuries + no fights with the coaching staff

JF: I think my #4 and #5 I'm going with Philly-Toronto

in what im sure will be an epic seven game battle for the right to be promptly swept by the Celtics

OBJ: I think you're just cautious about the Hawks, but I'm going to go Philly 4, Toronto 6

JF: Hawks 5?

OBJ: Hawks in the 5 spot

JF: WOAH

my bad

forget the dropoff

i love the heat

Heat #4

OBJ: damn really

JF: Heat #4 by a nice margin

yeah

eveyone disagreeing on this

i mean DWade looks healthy as fuck

OBJ: I think they'll make the playoffs

JF: Marion doing his typical matrix shit

Beasley...eh, he could be good

you like them lower than 6 damn

i gots Heat 4, Raps 5, Sixers 6

and I think the Heat can take any of the BIG THREE in a playoff series

you gots Philly 4, ATL 5, Raps 6

...Heat # 7?

OBJ: For now, yes

I want to wait and see what they do with that team

JF: playin it safe

OBJ: I don't think Riley will pay Marion what he's expecting, and that means he could be out by the midway point of the season

Yup, you got me. 'Cause picking the Hawks at #5 is definitely the safe pick

Asshole

JF: blow me

JF: i'll put ATL at #7

homer as hell ha

nobody in their right mind picking ATL to make the playoffs

much less two folk

OBJ: well I've got a really good feeling about them

And for my last team in the East...

JF: the chi?

OBJ: Orl?

JF: damn true dat

i gotta move ORL ahead of ATL

ATL gets #8

but Chi might be real close and is prolly the better pick

Derrick Rose looks like the real

and they just underachieved last year

if Vinny Del Negro can coach worth a shit, he could have a solid team on his hands

Sent at 4:49 PM on Tuesday

OBJ: Actually, I'm putting Boston, Detriot, Cavs, Philly, ATL, Magic, Heat, Raps

JF: cool

I got Detroit, Boston, Cavs, Heat, Philly, Toronto, Magic, ATL

OBJ: I'm sure that ATL pick will look nearly as rredick as GUA #1

JF: oh it already does

now...postseason...who you got in the WCF/ECF?

Boston/DET another foregone conclusion?

I like Cleveland/Detroit in the east finals and LAL/SAS in the west

OBJ: damn really

you hate the Celts

I'm going to have to make another bet with you about those Celtics

teach you not to bet against them

OBJ: So you think Boston won't be the #1 seed?

JF: people wanna forget yo

they struggled in the playoffs last year

JF: didnt look good til the last couple weeks

they were mad dogs going into the finals yo

OBJ: I thought they was gonna win that

JF: KG STILL didnt step it up like da main

and dap

but still

they aint no lizock

so you got BOS and CLE in ECF

WCF?

OBJ: Yeah BOS CLE

wait

whoever #1 and #2 seeds are

so if it's CLE and BOS, then there you go

JF: you got BOS-DET

OBJ: if DET has the home advantage over CLE in the 2nd round, I'm going with DET

JF: which would mean DET-CLE winner plays BOS

gotcha

word

nice hedge

finals

OBJ: hey

JF: safest pick in the book

LAL over Team X

OBJ: I mean, Bron plays one more at home last year and he may be going to the finals

JF: in my case, DEE-TROIT

tis true

i think LeBron can actually win a G7 on the road too

he aint faded

OBJ: Lebron is fucking insane

he is the anti-A-Rod A-Rod

JF: good word choice

that’s interesting

i remember reading an old post on Yay! sports comparing Bron to AROD

as in, LeBron is like AROD

just a machine

pure hype, pure results

OBJ: I mean, he's the clear-cut #1 player in his sport, for the next several years. But people actually root for him

JF: driven by talent, but lacking that competitive desire to HAVE TO WIN AND DOMINATE AND RIP YOUR MUTHERFUCKING HEART OUT that MJ had

Yay! said LeBron, like Arod, wants to win, but only as it is good for "The Brand"

i dont think LeBron is like ARod tho

i not one to get caught up in celebrity gossip...really i actually hate it...but this madonna thing a big WTF to me re: arod

like, straight up, i don’t get that dude

he can mash

but no clue what up there

like i had any idea before

anyways yeah LAL over DET

another flashack to 80s

whatsayyou?

OBJ: I say I think A-Rods got serious mental problems

and I think 'Bron DOES have the MJ Edge, so to speak

speaking of edge I need a new RB on my fantasy team

I just bring it up because they're the best in their sports

In the Finals

I'm picking

Lakers Cavs

Based on '

'Bron's unquenchable desire to prove he's the best and dominate Kobe in the Finals

Which I would personally love to see

JF: daaamn

and you see dat happening

ie. Cavs winning it all

OBJ: of course not

But this wouldn't be no Sue's picks if we just played it safe

and remember...

JF: true

OBJ: Anything's POSSIBUUUUUUUULLLLL!!!!!!!"

JF: people dont just come here for the colorful sidebar

OBJ: 'Bron wants to show that the parity, and fun, is back in the East

So I spose that's it

'Bron is my pick for MVP

JF: NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND

oh

well now that’s it

yeah Bron my pick too

with some sympathy/kitch/dumb votes to CP3

rookie of the year?

OBJ: CP3 could very well win it

If Kobe had won an MVP he would've had it last year

of course, the Rockets could go all out this year, ball they fuckin brains out, and not one of those three would get consideration

you think a Rockets - Cavs Finals would be proVOCaTIVe?

JF: yeah, you got dat Rockets itch

if that happens ill run down Peachtree street naked ala Hey Jenny Slater

OBJ: ic

Well I think the Rockets have a really good shot man

don't sell 'em short

I think the East is a lot more volatile right now than the West

when we revisit, say...midpoint? We should know more, but methinks the West will look similar while the East will be shaken quite the hell up

OBJ:

JF: sorry

yeah def we'll revisit all year to

yo*

that one thing bout NBA

good teams always seemingly good

all year

bad teams gonna be bad

like, you know the Nets and Bucks aint gonna be surprising anyone this year

complete opposite of NFL

youd think that would breed familiarity/boredom

but i love it

Insomniactic Thoughts on AI to Dee-troit

What an awesome trade. Two teams badly in need of a shake-up pull the trigger on a deal that might take them to the next level, but in all honestly will just make the inevitable a little less so for most of the season. Still though, is there anything not to like about this deal for either side? Take a look:

• The Answer finally gets to play on a title contender for the first time in a few years, and not in a "Post-Knee Issues C-Webb" or "the 2006-2008 Denver Nuggets" kind of contender, either. A.I. is a free agent after this season, so he can choose where to go, but this will likely be the last time he is the alpha dog scorer on a top-notch NBA team.
  

• The Nuggets clearly have no worries regarding the salary cap, luxury tax or any of your so called "struggling economy," having locked up Carmelo Anthony, Chauncey Billups, Nene' and Kenyon Martin to the tune of $56M through 2011. And only two of those players are worth more than $1M per season.
  

• Even still, the Nuggets were (are?) a mess. Their team is built too scoring heavy, and their salary structure is too top heavy. Therefore, their defense and bench blow like my ex-girlfriend after a coke binge. Bringing in Billups should upgrade their perimeter shooting and, while not a true pass-first point, he should distribute the rock more than Iverson did, allowing Carmelo to really come into his own as a scorer. Plus, Billups is a hometown boy, so thats always fun, and he desperately needs to make up for his last go-round with the Nuggets (12ppg, 3.5apg on crap teams). Their ceiling just went from "frisky first-round opponent" to "damn, I hope we can play them in the second round!"

• So, a pretty good deal for the Nuggets, but I love, love, love this deal for the Pistons. Not only do they get the best player in the deal, he fits in perfectly with this squad. He gives them the top-notch scorer they have lacked throughout this pseudo-dynasty and his style of play should complement and reinvigorate Rasheed Wallace, just in case his walk year wasn't enough. AI-Rip-Prince-Sheed-Amir-Stuckey-Hermann-Maxiell is a sick rotation, and very likely a FreeDarko wet dream, so I look forward to watching that crew in action.

• One man I left out of that rotation is Antonio McDyess, who apparently wants to return to Detroit via a buyout. The Nuggets have a different idea. This should be fun. I'm tempted to call it anyways, but you add McDyess back to the Pistons, and they're my pick for Eastern Champs. (More on that in our Eastern Conference preview)

• Finally, Iverson and Sheed come off the books after this season. Look at the Pistons cap space moving forward. Props to Joe Dumars for being proactive rather than getting nostalgic and allowing the same that won a title four years ago to grow old and ineffective together. With that cap room and some nice young talent, the Pistons look like contenders for a long time.

Didn't work. And that's too bad.

Sobered Up - Week 10

(I'd insert a photo of this weekend's game if I had any that weren't uniquely depressing)

Both OBJ and I were in Jacksonville this weekend for the epic shellacking. There's really not that much to take solace in; and, I don't really feel like analyzing the game, or making any kneejerk generalizations about the coaching staff and their intensity, focus, motivation, etc. etc. I will say this though: I felt UGA played well on both sides of the ball for the first half, but as is the case against good teams, if you cant execute in the red zone and on special teams, you are screwed.

One note re: the failed onside kick early in the second quarter...that was definitely a hindsight/20-20 call on Richt's part. It probably wasn't the most calculated risk, even moreso since Blair Walsh has been largely ineffective the last couple of games, but it's one of those plays where if it works well, Richt is praised with having Miles-esque cojones. I came to this conclusion at 4:30am Sunday morning outside my hotel as a group of 10-15 Georgia fans argued for damn near a half hour over the merits of the onside kick, neither side willing to budge an inch saying it was a good/bad call.

Either way, enough about that crapfest. Let's use this remaining space to go over the chances of the remaining championship contenders as we rank them in the Mumme Poll.


1. Alabama- Classic SEC trap game against a SunBelt opponent, and they still beat Arky State 35-0. As an undefeated SEC team in November, they clearly control their own destiny and are in the driver's seat for the BCS title game. It's possible that not even a loss on Saturday in Baton Rouge could completely derail their chances at making the title game.

2. Texas Tech- Very nice win, very nice. I kept thinking they'd collapse; and even when that did happen, they were able to improbably claw back. I'm also convinced that Michael Crabtree is not just a product of the TexTech offense, but would be a legit stud in any system, in any conference. Color me impressed...and yet, I can't see them beating both Oklahoma schools in the next two weeks. As with Alabama though, they win out and they're in the title game.

3. Penn State- As long as there are three undefeated teams, the Nittany Lions will be the odd men out. I'm not exactly convinced they're a better team than the next three teams ranked below them, either. If any of those teams win out, we could see a one-loss team jump a undefeated Penn State team, as aided by the computers. Chaos will ensue, and it will be glorious.

4. Florida- They're arguably playing better than any team in the country right now, and it seems like they're still only using half their playbook. Their young defense and running backs are getting better exponentially, and if you don't mind I'm going to slam my head into my desk a few times before going any further.

5. Texas- The Longhorns could still sneak into the title game if they win out, get a little help from one of the Oklahomas, and defeat Missouri in the Big 12 Championship. They have the schedule strength to fall back on, and a loss at Texas Tech shouldn't hurt too bad by the end of the season. Down, but not out.

6. Oklahoma- I didn't really want to drop them two slots, but how could Texas Tech and Florida not jump the Sooners after everything that happened this weekend? The Sooners defense looks porous at times, which could haunt them vs. the Red Raiders, but between that matchup and their end of the year battle vs. the Pokes, Oklahoma will get every opportunity to put themselves right back in the national title picture. It's going to be an interesting few weeks coming up in the Big 12. Best conference in the sport this year, hands down.

7. USC- They are not going to be in the BCS Championship Game. Hallelujah.

8. Oklahoma State- Everything said about Oklahoma applies to OSU. Most likely, too little too late, but a strong enough resume where if some crazy shit goes down, ala last year, they're right back in it.

9. Ohio State- That USC loss was bad, but as it has been mentioned, the Bucks are a fairly different team now. If UGA has to go the Outback/Capitol One Bowl route, I hope they get to play the Bucks. Not only would it be an entertaining matchup between the preseason Top 2 with tons of star power, it would allow Georgia to restore some order to this season with another hopeful beatdown of Ohio State by an SEC school to ring in the new year.

10. Missouri- I struggled with what "2-losses-to-Top-10-teams" squad to put here. Mizzou's loss against Texas was about as bad as Georgia's loss to Alabama, but at least it was on the road. Struggled against Baylor, yes, but at this point, you can find significant flaws in just about every team from here on down.

Mumme Poll Final Two:

11. Georgia- C'mon, as bad as they were on Saturday, do you see TCU, Boise, Utah, BYU or any of the ACC two-loss-team-du-jour beating the Dawgs on a neutral field?

12. Utah- This spot goes to the winner of Thursday's TCU-Utah showdown. For now, the Utes can hold on despite Saturday's nailbiter against New Mexico.

Couple more notes on the awful weekend that was in college football:

Regarding Urban Meyer using up those last two timeouts in the final seconds of a 49-10 domination: I don't care. He had them, it's legal, he used them. End of story. It was a bitchy move by a douchebag of a coach. Wasn't suprising or interesting in the least.

While not exactly lighting up the scoreboard or wins column, Bobby Petrino has the Hawgs playing much better football the last four games, coming off a home win against Tulsa. Anytime an overranked, undefeated, non-BCS school gets beaten by the 9th best team in the SEC, well, there's a pretty good chance it's going to get mentioned on this blog.

Georgia Tech takes the firing range position in this week's ACC Championship roulette following an impressive victory at home vs. FSU that was aided by a last second fumble recovery in the end zone. Take UNC this week, fellas.

Finally, that's enough college football for the day, and probably the week. It usually takes a few days/weeks/months to decompress following a bad UGA loss, specifically one that assures a New Years spent with a 1pm kickoff in central Florida rather than a primetime battle a week later in Miami. OBJ might stop by later with some more thoughts, but let's just say the NBA season just got a little more attention in my household (AI to Pistons? WHAT?!?).

Oh, one more thing...

Finally, pour one out for the fat man in the orange suit. Fulmer struggled once the Richts, Sabans and Meyers of college coaches started growing on trees in the southeast, but at the end of the day, he was a guy who loved his team, coached his whole life at his alma mater and won a title in the process. Overall, a excellent career. I'm thinking he will be revered in Knoxville for eternity and I've enjoyed the way he seems to have handled his inevitable fate with all the dignity and resignation of Al Pacino's character in the final scene of Donnie Brasco. Whoever follows Fulmer will be held to the highest of standards because of the bar he set there, and whatever non-SEC BCS school hires him as a coach will be fairly pleased with the results, if I had to surmise.

BLOGASM 10.30 - In which I speak rhetorically to people I will never meet....

...while enjoying Bud Select out of a can? What the hell is wrong with me?

Couple things I wanted to quickly comment on:

My support of Mike Vick has been well documented in this space before (shit, click the Vick tag below...it's probably one of the more popular ones and dude hasn't been in the news the whole time this blog been up), but I don't think I'm out of line saying that this is complete bullshit, and a legitimate breach of power. The money quote:

"Vick's lawyers had requested that he be allowed to enter the plea from federal prison (...) But citing high public interest in the case, Surry County Circuit Judge Samuel Campbell said it would be better for Vick to appear in person. (...) Prosecutor Gerald Poindexter preferred that Vick's plea wait until his release from federal prison. He objected to the video conferencing motion on grounds that it has never been used in Virginia and he didn't want the county to set a precedent."

Well at least that Campbell fuckwad is honest. He's also a shamless media whore that desperately needs a beatdown by a few of Vick's former dogs themselves. "High public interest in this case"? Give me a break. It is not in the public's interest AT ALL for Vick to have to fly to Virginia and enter his plea. All that is doing is costing taxpayers money, when he could easily be doing it from prison in Kansas at minimal expense. But nooo, you had to get your 4 minutes of fame, drag this disgraced NFL star that has suffered enough through a few extra days of media coverage and courtroom proceedings just so you could see your name in the paper and on TV a few extra times. Go fuck yourself, "judge." You're the disgrace. I don't know if that is an elected office in Virginia, but if it is, and you're a reader who could vote for this guy...please DON'T. Vote for anyone else.

As for you, Poindexter, God forbid a precedent be set that saves bureaucratic time and money. Who the hell would want to be the prosecutor that brought that to the legal system in this country? Whatever, you should've just admitted you wanted the inevitable media circus around your case as well.

Vick has paid the price. Move on, people.

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On a lighter note, has any coach ever gone from "hot coaching prospect" to "batshit crazy" as fast as Mike Singletary has? In the span of one game he publicy embarrassed his starting TE on the sidelines, went off on an already-epic postgame tirade, and now it has come off that he mooned his team at halftime and spoke to them with his pants around his ankles. Hmm.

The 49ers lost that game by the way 34-13 to a pretty bad Seahawks team. Whatever...all that apologizing he did to the fans and everyone? Totally unecessary...eevryone expected you to lose that game, Mike! Hell, half your fans were hopefully betting money on y'all to lose! You're team isn't very good! This isn't necessary! You might have been a candidate for a permanant head coaching job somewhere in the NFL next year! Now, you'll be lucky to outlast Marvin Lewis by the end of the year...and are probably now destined to be some wacky-intense college coach at a 2nd tier Big-10 school or something.

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Finally, congrats to the Phillies on the World Series win. But enough about their fans, eh. They waited 25 years for a title, big whoop. Plenty of cities have had it worse than that, plus, in the 70s and early 80s, Philly won a fair share of pro titles. Save the "tortured fan" talk for when the Cubs or Indians or hell even Rangers/Padres win a title.

Anyways, again, congrats to the Phillies. With the top two of their rotation still extremely young and most all their lineup under the age of 30 and signed to long term deals, this team is going to be very, very competitive for a long time. And because they are the Mets, that will always have a high payroll and the ability to acquire top-notch players (even if they whiff on alot of them). Brave new world in the NL East, indeed.

Shot Callin' Week 10 - SPECIAL COCKTAIL PARTY EDITION

These folk know how to have fun. No Bullshit.

Why am I watching Grindhouse featuring an incredible cinematic highlight of a one-legged girl, hot as Rose McGowen may be, in a 7-minute sex scene. Ooh but I forgot! The scene with Quentin Terrintino. This shit rocks. (pause six minutes to watch scene). Anyway. Am I a huge zombie movie fan? Fuck yeah. Would I watch nearly any zombie movie at any given time? Prolly. But the potential last game of the World Series is on. Sure I stood up and tuned in just in time for the National Anthem, but then I immediately turned it and haven't seen it since. All I'm saying is, you've got the NFL canceling its Sunday night game to be gentlemanly, and Baseball's just doing a terrible job marketing itself. K I'll check the score real quick.

Two nothin Phils top o da third.

And Quentin gets the peg leg in the eye. Fuckin awesome.

See what happens when you do a Shot Callin' on a fucking Monday?!

So we're headed to JAX ya'll. Did anyone out there think it wouldn't come down to this for the Bulldogs? Doubtful. There's not much point in trying not to be homerly on the eve of the biggest Saturday for UGA since the last time Florida crushed our Championship hopes. Just calling this the most important game tells me straight up Florida is still in the minds of Georgia fans, but I know for a fact that the Red and Black is painted all over those jolly jortsin' Georgia haters' minds now, too.

It's raining in the World Series. That's pretty cool.

--->Back 24 hours later, and we've got a Game 5 stalled in the middle of the game with the next day canceled. "What an ominous way to end the first part of that blawg yesterday," I absently thought to myself driving to work. This works out well for baseball. Draws a little interest. I'm sure I'll be turning on the game or looking at it at a bar in JAX, it being Friday and all. Assuming the Rays can make it to 7. Good luck!

Did I mention it's Georgia-Florida weekend? What a fudgin joke that Michael Adams restricted anyone from calling it the Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, eh? When he made this referendum and everyone - including and most influentially the media - followed suit, I thought, "hey lol-at-this fucking guy" just 'cause he was an asshole. But now, 5 years later, isn't the yolk really all up on him? I mean, people are nonstop with calling it the LOCP even still. Some of them don't even bother to say "former" before. Mike Adams, you're a prick.

I'm not really going to get into the rest of the games, in case you haven't noticed. This is it. This is the game I knew was coming ever since someone said, "Look at this Mathew Stafford guy that just committed," then intensified when someone answered "Moe-ray-know" to my "who the fuck was that?." It was this year. It was this game and it could not have followed any more perfectly in terms of drama. This is, by far, the most anticipated football game of my life.

On a related note, if you find that OBJ hasn't posted in a while, it's quite possible there's a good reason for it. Not sayin, just sayin.

Travel safely Bulldog Nation.

Go Dawgs.

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Joe Friday here with some quick thoughts on this week's game. For better and more coherent analysis, check out Hey Jenny Slater or this Florida fan's surprisingly fair and balanced take on the game. Me, I keep it simple like stupid:

Georgia will win if...

Offense:

• They control time of possession. Usually I find this stat fairly useless, but in this case, I want to see the Dawgs run the ball as much as possible, burn the clock and keep Florida's inexperienced defense on the field for looooong stretches of the game. I think Georgia can win a shootout with the Gators, but I'd rather not go there. Keeping our offense on the field keeps their's off the field. And that's what we call a win-win.
  

Defense:

• Florida's offense is extremely efficient. Tim Tebow has 164 passing attempts to Matt Stafford's 229. The Gators two leading rushers have a combined 79 carries, compared to the Dawgs' 208. Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey are fast as shit and are running around everyone thus far. Add Emmanuel Moody to the mix and the Gators have a bunch of speedy tailbacks (that have never faced a defense like ours). Let them get into the open field and this defense that couldn't bring down Charles Scott last week could be left in the dust more than a couple times. Force UF to run the ball between the tackles and pound the shit out of those guys all game. At this point I trust our front seven to tackle those three more than the secondary. Tebow will get his share of completions, and the receivers, yards after the catch. Hopefully the tackling back there will be up to speed and we can at least contain at least one portion of their offense.
  

• Give 120%. Sorry, didn't seem like a real "Keys to the Game" segment without something like that.

One quick note: My buddy Clos has an excellent idea on what he would like to see Saturday: Mark Richt telling his players to get another celebration penalty after they score their first touchdown. It doesn't even have to the the whole team...just the players on the field could re-enact a minor version of last year's revelry and that would be good enough. Will it happen? No chance in hell. But I still think it'd be pretty cool to see the look on Meyer's face if it did. Not to mention it would basically be a "fuck you" to Florida and probably affect their psyche (I could see a few chop blocks soon after something like that...). It's a good thing Coach Richt and Co. are alot classier and cool-headed than Clos and myself.


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This Week's Picks:

Georgia (+6) over Florida - $10

Auburn (+6) over Ole Miss - $15

Arkansas (+7) over Tulsa - $10

Missouri (-21) over Baylor - $15

Texas (-5.5) over Texas Tech - $10

FSU (+1) over Georgia Tech - $15

OBJ's Inferior Pick:

WVU (-3) over Connecticut - $10

Why does it seem like Miami and Virginia have played each other like 5 times already?

Illinois (-5) over Iowa - $5

Pretty sure I'd pick the over on this too. But it's fucking TUESDAY and the o/u isn't up yet.

Last Week: 4-4

2008 Inferior Picks: 4-3

2008 Overall Record: 40-33-2

2008 Pot: $140

Cautious Optimism: Hawks Season Preview

When the hell did this logo exist?

I haven't been this pumped heading into a Hawks season since 99-00 season, better known as the year of the failed JR Rider experiment. Hopefully this year goes the EXACT OPPOSITE of that one (54-28 if you're keeping score).

Quick thoughts re: the local basketball collective on what is, as I watch the Celtics get handed their rings by a beaming David Stern, beginning to feel like Christmas Eve. If college football is like combining JW Blue, sex with a pornstar, a meal at The Palm and a Bob Dylan concert; then the NBA is like combining JW Black, sex with a stripper, a meal at the Sugo's and an Eminem concert circa 2004. In other words, its fucking awesome.

1. I've been to every big game of the Richt era, attended multiple Braves playoffs games in the 90's, sat in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium and was even in the Omni when the Atlanta Knights clinched the Turner Cup...and yet, I've never enjoyed or had a better time at a sporting event than I did during Games 3 and 6 of the Boston series. I don't think there is a community more starved for quality basketball than Atlanta, and those three games last spring showed just how rowdy an atmosphere exciting playoff basketball brings to this city. I would not miss a playoff game this year.

2. Like an ex-girlfriend you just wish would move away, maybe it's a good thing for Josh Childress to be 20,000 miles away from me. He's toyed with my emotions too damn much over the last few years. I resented him his first couple of years, mainly because Billy Knight was dumb enough to take him over Luol Deng and Andre Iguodala. As time went on, I grew to appreciate his strengths and accept him for what he was: a good bench player that did everything well and nothing great. but always seemed to have a knack for coming up with a big play or being at the right spot at the right time. Then he up and bolts to Greece. Not saying I blame him, the hookup he got contained everything short of his own Greek shipping heiress.

Anyways, NBA writers and analysts have turned this into the second coming of the ABA losing Dr. J to the NBA. It's Josh Childress. I haven't seen this much overreaction by folks over a bench player since Brent Barry (the X-factor!!!) to the Spurs a few years had folks thinking they'd just landed St. Peter himself to come off the bench. Again, it's Josh Childress. He's replaceable. But unfortunately....

3. The Hawks choose to replace him with a bunch of 9th and 10th men, and according to most pundits have one of the worst, if not the worst, benches in the league. Early preseason game reports on Flip Murray and Mo Evans have been promising, so I'm definitely hopeful, but kind of in the same way that I am about the Braves' bullpen every March.

4. One guy who won't be included in that bench is Randolph Morris, the wild-card free agent signing that can't catch a break since committing to Kentucky (in as much as a 22-year-old millionaire can't catch a break), who has played his way out of the rotation. Apparently his year with the Knicks taught him plenty. Morris has really established himself as the MC Ren to AAU teammates' Dwight Howard and Josh Smith's Dr. Dre and Ice Cube.

5. As far as the starting five go, I may be a homer in saying this, but I love these guys. I believe Horford has the opportunity to be one of the league's elite big men, maybe as soon as this season. While nothing would surprise me this season in terms of Josh Smith's production going up or taking a step back this season, it's a lock that he will remain one of the most exciting players in the L to watch. Let's just hope he doesn't go Kirilenko on us. We may know what we're getting with JoeJ at this point, and all-star caliber play is fine with me. I remain an ardent Marvin Williams supporter (seriously, everyone can rag on the Hawks for taking him over Paul/Deron, but he was the clear-cut #1 or 2 prospect heading into that draft. Every team would have done likewise), but I'm cautiously optimistic that his jumper has improved this season. Hopefully, an improved jumper from Marvin means less outside shots (and more penetration) from Smith. There may be a few better starting fives out there, but there's not one I enjoy watching more. Yes, I realize that makes me either insane or a FreeDarko apostle.

6. That rant on how much I love our starting five brings me to my final point of this here rambling...Coach Mike Woodson. There's plenty of better Hawks bloggers that can count the ways Coach Woody and his 1980's Indiana halfcourt-offense are a terrible fit for his personnel, so I won't go into it. The ownership situation has obviously handcuffed this franchise into pursuing an elite or innovative coach that could truly take advantage of this athletic roster. As a Hawks fan, trust me, it's better not to think of these things. Let's just hope Woodson can find a balance between running his starters ragged like a twice-divorced Texas high school football coach during two-a-days; and allowing some of the younger talent on the bench (Acie Law, and umm Zaza) to develop without putting the squad at a competitive disadvantage. Again, Cautiously Optimistic...it's my personal slogan for this season.

Prediction: Mediocre to bad bench, a poor fit for a head coach, but five very good starters, four of whose games are still improving as they haven't hit their primes yet, and a point guard who will have a full season to gel with his teammates. I'm seeing a .500 team and a four game improvement over last season, to wit a 41-41 record. And for all the (truthful) talk of the Eastern Conference being much improved, a .500 record will get you in the playoffs this year. Believe that.