Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Sobered Up - Week Two

Back again for the first time, here to run down the weekend that was in College Football. A few notes before we get to Runaround Sue's Top 10 for Week Two:

The Iron Stomach Award for the biggest ACC shitfest of the week honorably goes to the amazing Middle Tennessee State University - Maryland game, narrowly edging out Virginia's not-so convincing defeat of I-AA Richmond 16-0. This MTSU/Maryland game heralded the first win by- not-even-a-powerhouse-in-the-Sun Belt-MTSU over an ACC team. How much you wanna bet it's not there last? Sure, the only other (3) times MTSU has won against a BCS opponent it was an SEC team (Vandy every time). Who cares? ACC, you suck. You just suck. I had to look away several times just from the score not to throw up in my mouth. And Maryland! You never even had a shot! This is gut-checking time for you and the rest of your ACC brethren. You are all being embarrassed. Even a middle-of-the-pack ACC team should be able to take a Sun Belt team. Jeezus.
Also could have beat Maryland

Speaking of the ACC being completely shittastic, Sue's is not above giving credit where credit is due, and mad dap goes to the ACC's highest ranked team for barely beating the SEC's 10th (9th at best) best team by a last-second field goal last night. Not that you ever would, but if by some un-Godly occurrence you end up on Sue's radar or our Top 10, this will not cut it. Quite comfortable, and drunk, in Athens, I happened upon several people asking for the score of the 'Ole Miss game. Meanwhile, ACC "fans" could be heard discussing whether Coach K's offensive scheme will get it done this year. You suck, ACC.

Did I mention I was in Athens over the weekend? Now, I haven't made it to a gameday in more than a year. My, my, my. Exactly the way I remember it. Beautiful women walking around in their Saturday best, the soothing and somehow semi-erotic smells of bourbon and barbecue permeating for miles...there really is nothing better.

As for the game itself? Georgia looked fine. I distinctly remember halftime approaching, turning to my buddy and remarking, "This is just not good enough." "What the hell do you want man we're up 21-0?" Well we got what I wanted, another TD right before halftime, which made the garbage TD they got with 27 seconds bearable. With a final score of 56-17, this is something I can live with.

See Knowshon jump

Knowshon "super ridiculous fucking awesome running back" Moreno's line? 18 carries, 168 yards and 3 TDs. That's an average of 9.3 YPC, people. In one pariticular "holy shit" moment, Knowshown, running at full speed, completely leaped over a CMU defender. It was one of the best plays I've ever seen in Stanford stadium. Probably number two on the list (see above for proof).

If you put Knowshon Moreno up against an entire team of ACC players, what do you think would happen? Knowshon = Da Main.

See Knowshon run

What will be remembered, though, other than Knowshon's freakish athletic prowess (ability to jump dopey defenders in a single bound!), were the great times spent with friends that you can never put a price on. These are times that I really would say is my "Make a Wish," if I ever got one. Not that I deserve that type of charity. Let me tell you - walking into an enormous stadium packed with more than 92,000 screaming fans all wearing red and black is one of the greatest experiences a sports fan can have. If you were unlucky enough to go to a school without a rich and storied football team, I strongly urge you to go. I just kept walking around, not fully comprehending why I had this ridiculous O-Face smile nonstop. It was good to see my old friend Uga again too. That is one damn fine looking dawg. A great gameday weekend, but let's wait until after the Alabama game to give out awards.

See Knowshon stiff-arm

Just remember while Brigham Young University is beating up on competition they should be beating in the WAC/MWC in the next few weeks, and presumably moving up the polls, they needed a HORRENDOUS call by notorious fuck-up PAC-10 officials to beat Washington. Who sucks. PAC-10 officials, I already do not trust you. But in case you are a total fucking moron, let me explain the rules to you a little bit because, while it's your job to enforce them, you apparently still don't get it: if there is a call that you make in the closing seconds of a game, a call in the closing minutes even, a call that will clearly alter the course of the game and therefore probably shouldn't be made, it better be called "Shanking the quarterback" or "Mack-10 on the field" or "Improper use of a pick-axe, defense number 44." You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. PAC-10 officials and ACC players. A match made in heaven. In closing, I've got the Bruins straight up this weekend. Watch out.

Like those with herpes,

now understands the

meaning of regret

Anyone interested in college football that follows the Georgia Tech Yellojackets, first of all, God help you. Why haven't you given in like everyone else and stopped caring? But secondly, you'll be happy to know that at least one contributor at Runaround Sue's has you projected as the ACC Champion. Now personally I don't think they should be able to put the word "champion" next to ACC when it comes to football, but what are you going to do. But you beat a Boston College team that was good enough, at least on defense, to provide you with a scare. GT, you just overcame adversity, albeit against a crappy team (read: you are also crappy), and you have a blowout under your belt. This is when you parlay the season into a completely acceptable 8 or 9 win season, which I believe will be enough to win the ACC. Good luck.

To Arkansas, the "Charlie Sheen: Platoon It Only Gets Worse from Here" award for an impending downward spiral. Sure, you'll have some limited success in the future this year, i.e. Tulsa/Young Guns, Mississippi State/Men at Work and 'Ole Miss/Major League, but if you don't completely change something real soon you're going to see a long string of failures this year with very little to show for yourself. Other than these three, I see a very strong likelihood of Arkansas losing to the other teams on their schedule, with perhaps Kentucky being the wildcard. But that's the thing, you're almost guaranteed to lose the other ones, and MSU and 'Ole Miss aren't even sure-fire bets. One way or another you need to step it up Arkansas. Because you're definitely losing your next four games (at Texas, Alabama, Florida and at Auburn), which will put you at 2-4. Then you'll be considered amongst the dregs of the SEC, which is still better than being considered a member of the ACC.

Alright on to our Top 10 for Week 3:

1. Georgia - Hey, they'll only be here for another week, but we see no reason why a stagnant USC or an abysmal looking OSU should here this week. Without a doubt, I see no circumstance why either USC or Ohio State will be occupying this spot next week. Unless they both...blow up or some shit.
2. USC
3. Oklahoma - I really thought Cincy might be able to put more points on the board and maybe make it interesting for a while. Guess what? They didn't, and Oklahoma doesn't have a real test until Texas, a whole month from now. Oklahoma is almost guaranteed to stay in the top three for the first half of the season.
4. Florida - Barring Tennessee coming out of nowhere this week, Florida also stands poised to remain in the Top 5 for another month, when they face LSU. This was one helluva ugly game against the U, with 12 points total being scored until the fourth quarter. What the hell happened to Miami, any way? How does your program go that far south that quickly? I'd like to think it was because immediately after they joined the ACC, they became what we call a 'totally crappy team.' One team who stands to drop out of the graces of voters, however, is...
5. Ohio State - Okay, Ohio State. You didn't have your best player on the field. Behind in the fourth quarter to lightly regarded even by their MAC counterparts Ohio? Seriously Ohio State? I don't think you're mentally prepared for next week. I think you're going to get bombed. One player should not that big of a difference make. I don't need to say anything else, I'll let OSU WR Brian Hartline do it for me: "That was pathetic. It was a pathetic performance. OU should've won the game. I don't know how we came out with it." Me neither.
6. LSU - That Florida game is looming large on the schedule. Win that, and LSU is in the Top 3.
7. Texas - Keep beating teams they should beat.
8. Missouri - Read: Texas
9. Alabama - 'Bama you very nearly fell out of the graces of Sue's Top 10. You looked terrible against a Tulane team that hasn't been to their own campus in two weeks. Alabama scored one offensive touchdown, totaled just 172 yards, allowed four sacks and missed two field goals. Incredibly sloppy play, which once again shows your inconsistency. Good News: keep going good game bad game on us, and you'll have a good effort against Georgia.
10. Kansas

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