Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Closing Tonight and Working a Double Tomorrow

Braves and Birds hosts this week's BlogPoll Roundtable, asking to rate your team in a similar manner that you would your favorite chain dining establishment. Of course, us at Sue's aren't veterans of this here blog thing, much less members of the BlogPoll (ADD kicks in after #10 anyways). However, we are veterans of many a chain restaurant, both as employees and patrons. So without any further adieu...

1. How would you rate your program's service to you in the first two weeks of the season?

Well, it's been great, for all the reasons Hey Jenny Slater points out. Georgia has dominated two opponents they should have. Sure there are minor questions about the pass rush and the usual early-season onslaught of penalties...but overall, how can a Georgia fan not be completely satisfied with what they have seen. Of course, with SEC play about to begin, Georgia's performance has been about as impressive as your waiter serving you at 5:15 before any dinner rush, standing three feet away and refilling your drink every time it drops below the 3/4-full mark. Let's see how they do when they've just got double sat, have a family of rednecks plowing through sweet tea by the gallon, and another table with two old women sending back their third dish of linguine marinara because it didn't seem al dente. If you're still bringing me a fresh basket of bread every five minutes, THEN you've shown me something.

2. How happy are you with your program's overall scheme? We are in a period in which the spread has become a total obsession in the media. If you're a fan of a spread team, are you happy with the way your program has implemented it? If you're a fan of a non-spread team, do you wish that your program would convert to this Xenu of offenses?

With the strength of Georgia's offense lying in their running attack and the complimenting styles of their different tailbacks, I have no desire to see them switch to the offense du decade. Hell, I'm just happy Richt allows Stafford to throw the ball downfield more than he ever let David Greene (who had an as good, if not better, stack of receivers). The running play-screen pass-tight end over the middle-field goal offense got a lil' stagnant after a few years. I've been extremely pleased with the progression of Georgia's offensive scheme since Mike Bobo took over playcalling duties and I look forward to seeing it at full strength with the return of Brannan Southerland. Having a great blocking fullback who can also punch it through in goal line situations or go across the middle and catch a pass is a huge plus in this offense.

3. Rate your stadium's cleanliness and menu options.

Cleanliness? Who cares? It's a fucking college football stadium in the deep south. Everyone who walks in there already has a layer of dried sweat covered by a film of drying sweat covered by a film of glistening sweat wrapped around their bodies as 95,000+ folks move into a 4 acre radius. Besides, spittoons, empty airplane liqour bottles, used souvenir cups, and the like just add to the scenery of Georgia Football. It's the equivalent of seeing some straw wrappers and food crumbs as you are about to be seated, only to have said wrappers and crumbs swiftly discarded by a able-bodied and exceedingly polite Latino-American.

As for Sanford's menu options...they suck. Awful. Ribeye at Waffle House bad. Salad at Steak and Shake bad. Fresh Grouper at Chili's bad. Chicken Parmigiana at Applebee's bad. On second thought, all those items would be an improvement over what Sanford offers, which is generic hot dogs, generic peanuts, generic cardboard pizza, stale popcorn, pretzels so hard they feel as though they were injected with viagra, as well as standard soda and candy options. All these items are insanely overpriced. Maybe one day, when I am able to venture to the 200/Club level of the stadium, I will enjoy McDonald's, Famous Nathan's, Papa John's etc., but that is still unchartered territory to me. For those of you wondering about the menu and still sitting with amongst people that DON'T donate body parts in order to acquire season tickets, well, just fill up at the tailgate.

Oh, and all the above problems would be completely alleviated with the lifting of prohibition inside the stadium on gamedays.

4. As an incentive to provide your valued feedback, you will be entered into a drawing for exciting prizes! What one prize would you like for your program?

An all-expenses paid trip to Miami for the first week of 2009. As much as I'd love to come up with a more clever answer here, I keep coming back to this one. Beyond that, a performance so jaw-dropping in the title game that UGA gets name-dropped on a Rick Ross track would be great.

5. b. If your program were a casual dining chain, which one would it be? Yes, this is a tricky question because the defining characteristic of a casual dining chain is its sameness. No one said this Roundtable would be easy. Bonus points if you can make a compelling case that your program is Chotchkie's or Flingers.

As much as I'd love to say Shenanigans, the chain immortalized in the massive in-joke to service industry sufferers everywhere, Waiting, I'll go with Logan's Roadhouse here. Sure, Longhorn's and Outback (USC/Ohio State?) get all the pub and love from the mainstream, but at the end of the day, the food quality is just as good at Logan's, the table bread is severely underrated, and Logan's doesn't need the flash of a Bloomin' Onion or massive fake bull's head protuding from their walls to get the job done. No...Logan's draws you in with FREE PEANUTS, a laid-back atmosphere and good ole Southern Charm, while always producing results and never leaving you disappointed. If Mr. Logan happens to be a church-going, Ukranian-child adopting man with movie-star/politician looks that can motivate all his workers to engage in a massive birthday cheer celebration that the other customers would never forget, well then this comparison just gets downright eerie.

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