Bawlin' Cawlin' 02-06-09

The Most Official Bitches. And our soul mates.

Dear Women of Married to the Mob,

We don't want to sound like creeps or anything, but we think you are the most righteous girls EVER. Now, look. We're sure that you get this all of the time, but MTTM and Runaround Sue's were MADE for each other! Observe:

Once we discovered your most recent audacious display of, what your "ill" squad refers to as, "officiality," we were instantly hooked right in. We're not going to lie, we were going to hop a flight to NYC and demand that you hang out with us. But we quickly realized you don't have your corporate office address on your website. Ladies, your screen is not big enough for the frowny face I want to express to you when we discovered that.

You think it's cool that you got kicked out of a Knicks game for being drunkenly obnxious and putting some preppy scarf-wearing Blackberry-playing punk ass in his place? We think it's WAY FUCKING AWESOME. I mean, we often get kicked out of the seediest Mexican joints in Atlanta because we're too drunk. How is that even possible? Were we destined for each other? YES! Girl, I didn't even know it, but SJF and I have been in TONS of phone book battles. We just didn't know what it was, let alone there was a NAME for it!

For the record, it was the "love tap on the grill" that really pushed Friday over the edge. He wants to marry one of you. He's a good kid. Give him a chance.

The problem is, because you apparently took down your blog from your website (does it have anything to do with those jerks sitting in front of you, and the sweet insults you posted under their pictures?), so now we have no way to prove to our buddies that we found the perfect women. We don't know what to do. We even contacted our favorite adviser, world-renowned poker player Antonio Esfandiari, but now that line will be worthless.

I don't know how to convince you that Runaround Sue's is as Official as Married to the Mob, ladies. But we need you. Alvin and his boys had The Chipettes, and that's what you are to us. You are the perfect female counterparts to us...the sexy yin to our manly yang. We will not stop until we've shared drinks with you in New York, convincing you that you are our cosmic twins.

Please accept our friendship request on MySpace, and know that it's only the beginning.

Record
OBJ: 9-3
Joe Friday: 8-4

Knowing that we just met our spiritual and blog-exual match in Married to the Mob is NEARLY as exciting as this close race.

Today's Picks

OBJ: Atlanta (+1.5) over Charlotte

That's right. I'm going right back with the Hawks. A Hawks team that has lost four of its last six. But the Bobcats are not only...well, the Bobcats, they're also without they're best player, and Juwan Howard, who's expected to start to make up the difference, was out with a sore toe yesterday. NO JUWAN HOWARD?? You're going DOWN, BOBCATS!!

Joe Friday: Hawks/Cats OVER 179