Coming in a little late for the MNF Live Blog with 2 minutes left in the first, two folks who wouldn't know a spigot from an intake valve attempt an unprecedented task: assembling a tricycle.
9:17 - So I care about this game because if Cha-town loses Minnie gets into the playoffs...? And the Vikings could play the Falcons? I 'spose this makes it interesting. If Mike VICK were playing.
9:19 - I like watching football in the snow. It goes together like being at a football game in autumn. Or easy girls that don't talk too much.
9:21 - Is it lame to do all of your Christmas shopping for your parents at Old Navy? I'm thinking, resounding yes. Joe Friday would disagree, primarily because he just did it.
9:22 - Trike for the Tyke '08 is on. And the directions were obviously written by the same folks over at Ikea. Fucking Swedes (emphasis added):
This Owner's Manual is made for several different bicycles (!!!). All features and components are not included on all models (wtf?!1/?!). Some of the illusrations may not look exactly like the parts of the bicycle (even fucking with my illustrations?!), but the instructions are correct (but, you just said...). If the bicycle has any parts that are not described in this manual, look for separate "Special Instructions" (awwww shit) that are supplied with the bicycle.9:26 - One wheel allegedly affixed correctly. This could be easier than we thought.
9:27 - It took forever for Kornheiser to mention Favre. 4 minutes into the second? You off yo game, Korny.
9:28 - And I checked the score for the first time. Goose eggs. Hmm.
9:29 - Apparently Matt Flynn plays for the Pack. S-E-C! S-E-C!
9:30 - We're going to run out of Live Blawggin material pretty soon if we're not careful. Both training wheels, the seat and both tires on. Then I'm going to chat about Bears/Pack? Maybe there's an episode of Law & Order I can live blog...
9:32 - Law & Order's on in :30. We may have something here.
9:35 - [From SJF] The Bears, since their recent Super Bowl run, have clearly squandered the prime of an epic defense by continuously trotting out hog-shit offenses, specifically and most strikingly from the quarterback position year after friggin year. Is it that hard to get a mediocre-to-just-not-complete-shit-bukkake-quarterback like Schaab, Warner, Collins or Pennington? Jeezus.
9:50 - This game is boring as dogshit. I'm beginning to regret the notion of a Monday live blog. Let's see if SJF will change it to wrestling right quick
9:52 - Sweet! We got it changed and we get to watch...Mysterio and JBL duke it out. Sometimes I realize my life sucks more than usual. Like when I get arrested by MARTA cops. Or when I'm wishing Hollywood Hogan would come back. How can I convince SJF of the merits of WWE when this is what happens to be on?? Oh, well. Perhaps if I get high...
9:58 - JBL killin this luchador and I still ain't high. "I think I got sold faulty parts, yo." Sure, buddy. Ever see PCU (the most underrated college movie of all time)? Remember that part where their trying to tap the kegs, and one of the stoners says, "I think mine's broke, dude." "Yeah, dude let's give up." This is Trike for Tyke '08.
10:01 - So is the only reason I don't get any crappy college football (note: demonstrably better than crappy NFL football) tonight because ESPN is the only entity able to absorb the cost and they have MNF?
10:07 - And Shawn Michaels saves JBL to advance to a potential #1 Contender's spot. What the fuck are you doing with Shawn Michaels, creatives? This better end with Michaels getting the title somehow.
10:08 - Checking the score of the game real quick to make sure we're not missing a game and we've got...
10:20 - And Korheiser just said, "If I were writing a column right now, all I would do is talk about the weather...and make JOKES. Like I would, say, 'Don't get out of your seat, 'cause the Governor will try to SELL it." Now really. Is that necessary? Some dick journalist makes a crack about a Coach's son in law ironically being his defensive coordinator and gets blasted, but Korny kills it all night like this?
10:28 - The plan was to take a pic with this tiny as bike that illustrates its extreme tiny-ness. One of the pedals won't fit. 'Parently JF was right.
10:29 - I'm watching two grown men in their underwear dance around with each other and grunt. Damn.
10:31 - My recommendation here is duct it. Looks like Tyke for Trike '08 exceeded expectations like the '08 Bulldogs.
-Last time, now. Finish. The fucking. Drill.
'Kain't say we didn't try
10:45 - Okay this Arby's commercial with the guy sitting on the bed waiting for the girl to come through the doorway with his birthday present is plain fucking sick. This is what we need to sell a product? And the boing-r-rang-a-rang spring up of the Arby's logo to boot? Shame Arby's. You got badass curly fries and cheese sauce. Sell that.
Runaround Sue's 2008 NFL Season Awards
(Note: Sue's knowledge of the NFL is pronounced, albeit limited. Strictly to basically not watching multiple NFL games, but watching major highlights and talk about college football while games are playing in the background or, fantasy.)
LDT (our f&*king #1 [championship winning season] overall pick!!1). Playin. This was a teaser. See this finished tomorrow kids.