Running around to Give you the Reacharound


Handicapping the Favre Situation

As I mentioned earlier this week, there wasn't really much to add to this Brett Favre saga. Well apparantly, I am a liah! I won't bother to re-hash the details of the story, as ESPN is all over this news with the giddiness of a young schoolgirl awaiting a summer crush to return home from camp.

That being said, I do not envy the inevitable decision the Packers are facing. Having grown weary of Favre's bullshit posturing on the subject of his retirement over the last five years, I'd like nothing more than to see the Packers tell him to go fuck himself. Unfortunately, this being reality, they have to straddle a fine line between jettisoning the most popular (best?) player in franchise history, placating their legions of loyal fans, and fielding a competitive football team when training camp starts later this month.

What will the Packers do? What should they do? Your guess is as good as mine, but just for the hell of it, let's go to the oddsmaker, yours truly...

500-1: Bully/pressure Favre into holding true to his retirement, going into the Hall-of-Fame as (basically) a career Packer, and retire his #4 jersey on the Monday night opener vs. Minnesota.

These odds can't be high enough. If there's one trait that defines Brett Favre's unnatural ability to believe in himself in any and all situations, its his pure stubbornness. He won't back down. If he wants to play the 2008 NFL season, he will play the season on his terms. It's this stubbornness that allowed him to throw 100 total interceptions over the last five seasons and not change his decision making in the pocket under pressure at any point during that time. (/ Obligatory "Gunslinger" reference)

20-1: Grant Favre his release, allow him to be free to sign with any team he wants, presumably division rivals Chicago or Minnesota.

Under no circumstances can the Packers allow the face of their franchise to sign with a hated division rival. A division rival, might I add, that will arguably be as much of a player in the NFC race Pack this season. The Monday night opener vs. Minnesota would be an unmitigated disaster, as the American public would be subjected to four hours of Tony Kornheiser blasting the Packers for letting Favre go, while mentioning in about forty different poetic tones "just how tough. this game. this season. his Packers career. will be for young Aaron Rogers." Let's just say this situation would make ESPN's coverage of Barry Bonds chase for 755 seem like they were covering the WNBA. This situation not only won't happen, it can't happen.

15-1: Trade Favre to an NFC squad not in the NFC North.

The Falcons, Bucs and Niners would upgrade their QB situations immensely by trading for Favre. Speaking of which...what the hell do you trade for Brett Favre if you are a team in need of a QB? Not only would he move merchandise and put your team in the national spotlight immediately, but the sad truth is that Brett Favre is still better than 80-90% of the QBs in the NFL right now. Hell there's a chance that if Favre is still the same gunslangin' interceptin' machine in five years as a 44-year-old, he's STILL going to be in the top half of NFL quarterbacks. It really speaks as an indictment of how few quality quarterbacks there are in this league that a team could seriously consider giving up a 1st or 2nd round pick for Favre at this point in his career. I mean, look at some of the quarterbacks in the Pro Bowl over the last few years not named Brady or Manning:

2008 - Jeff Garcia, Matt Hasselbeck
2007 - Philip Rivers, Mark Bulger
2006 - Trent Green, Steve McNair (fully washed up), Hasselbeck, Jake Dellhome
2005 - Bulger, Green

These guys pass at upper-echelon QBs in today's NFL? It really makes me reconsider the quality of football I've been watching over the last few years knowing that I was following a league where Matt Hasselbeck and Trent Green were multiple-time All-Pros.

7-1: Trade Favre to an AFC squad.

There are too many teams to name here. If shit hits the fan in Green Bay and the point of no return is crossed by either Favre or the Packers brass, do not be surprised to see him shipped to an AFC team the Packers don't have to play for a season or two.

3-1: Bring Favre back as starter, allow him to continue this ridiculous song-and-dance for the next few years, as he continues his uncanny ability to throw drive-killing interceptions in big games. He is also allowed to fuck Aaron Rogers sister and kill his cat.

Would not surprise me at all.

2-1: Bring Favre back as a backup (wink, wink).

Favre comes back as a backup. At the press conference, says all the right things about having to earn his spot back as the starter, he just wants to help Rogers run the offense, etc. etc. Two days and 8,000 questions later, young Aaron metaphorically or literally shits the bed in a scrimmage and Favre is named the starter. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

So there you have it, place your bets. But if the most latter of these situations proves true, just remember you heard it on a blog named after a song featured in the epic stickball scene of Little Big League.

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