Bawlin' Cawlin' 02-16-10: Quick Picks

Look back tomorrow and the rest of the week for some honey posts.

Records
OBJ: 2-2
Joe Friday: 3-1

SJF is starting out strong and beginning to pull ahead, but at the benefit of improving upon Sue's 65% winners last year. I should be nervous at losing this bet, but I'm so excited for Sue's potential bragging right that the agony of defeat is blunted considerably by the band-aid of vanity.

2010 Bet
Tickets to a Braves game and all the beer the victor can drink.

Today's Picks

Joe Friday 1: Miami (+2) over Philadelphia

Joe Friday 2: Detriot (-5.5) over Minnesota

OBJ 1: Phoenix (-1) over Memphis
Apparently in a recent post I promised I'd never pick the hometown Suns again if they let me down. They let me down.

THIS time I mean it. On a side note, this looks to be an incredibly boring game to watch. I'm guessing that a double-technical will be the most exciting part. I'll be watching, so let's see about this bold prediction.

OBJ 2: Boston (-6) over Sacramento

Bawlin' Cawlin' 01-26-10: The Duality of Rooting

Let's agree to agree.

Sunday night when reached for comment after it became official that he would start in the 2010 All Star game, Allen Iverson stated that he would not listen to critics who said he should bow out and allow other, more deserving players such as, I don't know, Rajon Rondo, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith or Derrick Rose to start in the game in his stead. Hell, one could even make a half-assed yet still respectable argument for Danny Granger, Stephen Jackson, Monta Ellis, Gerald Wallace, Al Jefferson, Rodney Stuckey or Kevin Martin.

After the requisite 1.5 seconds of thought, I agreed with AI's decision. I mean, the rules are the rules, and Iverson's just following protocol. Plus, if you can name me a better example of a "fan's player" (in the same vein as the "player's coach"), you've got a free post in this space. No doubt, AI's reputation and well-documented icy relationship with David Stern may ultimately make this year the catalyst that alters the way All-Star voting is done. Of course, there's no way the NBA will completely dissolve fan voting, but partial fan voting is certainly on the table. In any case, Iverson has a right to start, and I agree with his decision to play.

But then, in this week's Sports Illustrated issue, it was revealed that Yao Ming - knowing that China's massive population and considerable NBA fan base would undoubtedly make him the top vote-getter once again - called up the commissioner's office before the season started to formally request the removal of his name from the ballot. Yao may or may not play a single game this season. It's unlikely. AI walked out on his second team in as many seasons and, while it's a great story of redemption, has done little with his one and only 76ers.

1.5 seconds was way too long to consider this one. With this decision, Yao Ming has become one of my favorite players in the NBA. Maybe it wasn't even his idea. Maybe it was his publicist's. It CERTAINLY wasn't China's, who will lose their 50% stake in Yao's potential All-Star bonus. Props to you, Yao. Also, I miss your Ultimate Sad Face, which has entertained me me for years.

One of the realest things in sports.

This entire situation raises one of the great conundrums of sports: how can we root for two opposing ideas at the exact same time? How can I root for the Saints to win their conference championship game with an interception from the opposing quarterback, yet still feel enough respect that I feel bad for Brett Favre? How can I be a Yankees fan and still feel even a morsel of sanctification from seeing the Red Sox finally win the Series (this was before the fans became so unbearable, obviously). Even though I don't give three uncomfortably squirty shits about tennis, my obvious and only rotting interest is with any American. And yet, if I find Roger Federer in the finals against anyone BUT an American, I actually have a degree of interest in seeing the Swiss-born player when. It's the same with this situation. In opposites on nearly the exact same table, I find myself respecting both of the players.

This is truly one of the greatest things about sports. The duality of rooting interest cannot be quantified or otherwise explained. It just, is. I would almost go so far as to say that any true sports fan, when all is said and done, hates to see ANY entity lose. No matter how much you hate a franchise, or even a player, anyone who's ever played sports knows that losing the big one is more heart breaking than finding out why your wife's been spending so much time with your house's renovation crew.

So, without seemingly any logic whatsoever, kudos to both Yao Ming and Allen Iverson, for doing precisely opposite things. On to the games!

Records
OBJ: 1-1
Joe Friday: 1-1

After careful consideration, Friday and I have decided that we'll keep it simple this year. Hey, I don't know what your portfolio's looking like, but we're using ours for toilet paper.

So, tickets to a Braves game and all the beer the victor can drink is on the table. At this point, a 50% off price tag on a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 due to the cap seal being broken would excite me, so this is just downright mind-boggling.

Today's Picks
Starting out much the same way as last year, we are neck and neck. Not to spoil your tension, but I'm going to pull away and take this like a sprinting midnight hooker clutching a wallet.

Joe Friday 1: Milwaukee/Dallas OVER 197

Joe Friday 2: Golden State/Sacramento UNDER 220.5

OBJ 1: Lakers (-8) over Washington

OBJ 2: Phoenix (-5) over Charlotte
The Suns are abysmal in the second of back-to-back games this year. After failing at the sentimental pick yesterday, if Phoenix doesn't come through for me tonight it's the last time I bet on them all season.

Bawlin' Cawlin' 01-25-10: You Got Our Balls

At the PLAYGROOOOOOUND. Y'know?

There are so many ways to approach this. Perhaps we could not even mention that we haven't posted in nearly six months, but we think this would immediately make us lose credibility with all seven of you (lookin' at you, Jesse!). Or, we could attack one of the myriad stories out there, boldly stating that there is absolutely no way in HELL we could remain retired when such an incredible, unprecedented sports-happening is, well, happening. You know. Like Tiger Woods living up in so many comedic ways to his moniker. WOODs. Heheh. You Tiger. Or the latest Favre watch (don't worry, we won't address this until either a) he officially retires or b) he rejoins the Vikings in August). Or Pete Carroll. Or GOOD GOD Lane Kiffin. But really, it only seemed to make sense to parallel our resurgence with someone else's - albeit considerably more brave - rebirth.

Ain't no one that can argue. If he can do it, so can we.

What's 'gonna happen in this long-awaited sequel to Sue's breakout season? Will we have live footage of fresh lemon juice being squeezed into one of our eyes for the sake of our bet? Will we change our handles?? Will we shamelessly murder metaphors with pinpoint-precision-prose?! Will Stringer Bell somehow find a way to live and branch off on his own well-deserved spin-off??! Anything and everything is on the table this year, folks. It's 2010. How many of you actually thought you'd live this long?

Plenty of stories to come. But for now, let's get to the games.

Ed. Note: If you want us to apologize for taking our balls home and playing with them without all of you, well...the ball's bouncin in the playground, ya'll.

Now we can all play!

Records
OBJ: 0-0
Joe Friday: 0-0

Last year was front row seats to a Braves game and all the beer the winner could drink. This year's bet to come. Hell. This is so exciting I could, too.

Today's Picks
Last year, picking a combined 52 games, Joe Friday and I combined for an above .650 winning percentage. Do you have any IDEA how hard that is? I'm too lazy to research this because it's so obscure, but I heard on a radio show or something that you're lucky to get 30% on NBA games. Including professional gamblers, who stay away from NBA games. Good enough for me!

Joe Friday 1: Cleveland +1 over Miami

Joe Friday 2: Houston (PK) over Atlanta
Let me get this straight. The first Bawlin' in seven months, and this loon goes against his home team?

OBJ 1: Atlanta (PK) Houston

OBJ 2: Phoenix (+7.5) over Utah
Yup. Let's hope this isn't a trend towards making picks based on the sentimental, but somehow, I have to feel like the stars aligning with Friday's bonehead against-the-A pick and Phoenix's generous helping to a delicious spread. I'm going with my old home team, and my new home team. AND YES IT'S OKAY TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE TEAM YOU ROOT FOR BECAUSE OF PREVIOUS PROXIMITY.

Come and get it.


And an extra present for the lazy fans.

Lords of the Ringless: An Update

As intimated in our dome-rattling feature a few months back, Steve Nash rounds out Sue's Top 3 Athletes who deserve a ring but do not have one.

So it is with great sadness that I provide commentary on the recent news that Nash has accepted a 2-year extension with the Phoenix Suns. By the time Nash has finished this contract, he'll be 37-years old and unlikely to sign another contract. A team featuring a core of Nash, Grant Hill, Channing Frye and (possibly) Amare Stoudamire isn't going anywhere. Hell, they'll be lucky to make the playoffs.

I think it's safe to say that Nash's days of having even the slightest chance at a title are completely behind him. Like AI, Nash's best opportunity to contend would've been signing a smaller deal with one of the Prime Contenders. Like AI, this looks to be a near-impossibility. Unless Nash gets traded midseason sometime in the next 3 years, we can safely assume he'll never earn a Championship.

It's a good thing that Nash still has a very bright future as an actor, because it doesn't look like he'll be cementing any kind of legacy. Let's just hope he's more remembered for his contributions on the court rather than his...actions off of it.

Talk about "Oh, brother."

Artested Development

Just sayin.

Pardon the Interruption, but let us be the first to say that Ron Ron's recent move to La La Land is nearly directly proportional to Rodman's move to the Bulls in 1995. To state both what pops out and perhaps what's not so obvious:

• Kobe's going for his fifth, while MJ was strolling to his fourth. Both superstars transcended their time and are/were clearly at a turning point in their careers both as ambassadors of the sport and how they handle the ball
• Both crazies came from a Texas team (Houston and San Antonio, respectively)
• Both were considered ridiculous defensive talents (and batshit crazy)
• In case the above image doesn't explain, Artest to Los Angels clearly makes the Lakers the favorite for 2010 with the most legitimate triple threat in the NBA
• Same coach?
  

The biggest difference of course is that this will not mean 3 more championships for the Lakers. It will guarantee at least one, barring injuries.

Someone smell football?

At least the Atlanta Spirit is Alive

Thoughts on the Jamal Crawford deal in a second. First, some draft thoughts:

• If Acie Law couldn't see significant run in two years under Mike Woodson, I don't see Teague seeing the floor much more. With Crawford, JoeJ and Bibby and/or Flip returning, there's not room in the backcourt for another guard that needs touches to be effective. I suppose that with Mike Woodson's "pass to Joe with 18 seconds left on the shotclock and let him run the offense" offense, the Hawks don't need a true pass first PG, but they've seemed to corner the market on veterans like Teague.
  

• Still, I'm more bullish on his long term potential than I ever was on Law's. Teague will be two years younger than Law was his rookie season, is significantly more athletic, and played at an elite level of college ball from the second he stepped on the court at Wake, while Law didn't really come into his own until his senior year at Texas A&M. Like most Hawks bloggers, I never felt that Woodson gave Law a fair shake and I hope he does well with GSW, but I don't think we will feel much of a difference with Teague receiving Law's 10mpg.
  

• Much like his Spanish national teammates Pau Gasol and Juan Carlos Navarro, I don't think I will ever be a big Ricky Rubio fan, albeit for different reasons from those two maricons. Okay, so the kid doesn't want to go to Minnesota. They have a solid young nucleus, but whatever, you were hoping for a bigger market. Unfortunately, you knew you were going in the #2-#6 range this whole time. You know what teams/markets were picking there? Memphis, Oklahoma City, Sacramento, Washington (pick traded to Minny - by the way...how fucking stupid to the Wizards feel now...that's probably the one place Rubio DEFINITELY would have gone, and they had that pick 48 hours before the draft!) and Minnesota. You weren't going to a big market no matter what, Ricky. Other than OKC, there is no better situation in that group than Minnesota. If this kid is smart, and has smart folks advising him, he will be with the Wolves next year. They own his rights for the foreseeable future. Unless he wants to toil in international obscurity playing in Spain or Turkey until he's a 22-year-old fading prospect, he will sign with the Wolves and prove he can beat out a solid-but-not -spectacular American college star like Johnny Flynn.
  

• No clue what the Wolves were thinking with that Flynn pick. Rubio/Flynn backcourt will never work and is a defensive nightmare. Curry pick wouldn't have been much better, Hill would be buried behind Jefferson/Love, and it was probably too high to reach on DeRozan/Terrance Williams. The lesson? It's not a good thing to have eighty picks in a shitty draft.
  

• The Wolves just pissed me off on draft night even more by taking Ty Lawson at #18 and moving him to Denver. Three Top 18 picks, and the Wolves could seriously be looking at only Johnny Flynn to show for it. At least they got folks in the media talking about them and their GM, aye Simmons? Anyways, would have loved to see Lawson in a Hawks uni next year...quick as shit in transition, better passer than Teague, proven track record on a winning college team (matters more than you'd think....unless you went to Duke), and an injury-proneness that would fit right in. Alas...

• I've been sure of few things more than I was sure that Indiana was taking Tyler Hansborough at #11. Good jeez...Bird has destroyed that team (assist from Ron-Ron). Five years ago they were a fairly young team that was among the most talented in the league. Now their collecting average white guys like they're casting a fucking overrated Hollywood comedy.
  

• Speaking of white guys...hipster blogger fetishization alert!!!! Brandon. Jennings. a.k.a. Young Money. A much more reasoned, logical and less holier-than-thou take here.
  

While we're here, some early thoughts on the pre-draft trades not-involving Jamal Crawford:

• I like the Shaq deal for Cleveland...I'm not sure how so many media types and NBA fans can say that if the Cavs had acquired Shaq four months ago, it would have been a huge help against Orlando; but, now it smacks of desperation. Sure, it would have been ideal if they made the trade during the season, but they, along with EVERYONE FUCKING ELSE, thought they had more than enough to beat Orlando. Hindsight, 20/20 and all that shit.
  

• Shaq will help Cleveland, but the Cavs still need a consistent outside shooter than Shaq can kick it out to from the post or LeBron can fallback on when the lane collapses on him. Sheed Wallace would be a nice fit here, as Turkoglu has been priced out of their range. This season really is it for the Cavs. I see it as HIGHLY unlikely that if they win the NBA title in '10, LeBron is visiting other teams a few short weeks later as a free agent. Ergo, an NBA title is a must, and so is going out and acquiring whatever parts are necessary...cap room be damned, as it will be made up with four more seasons of LeBron in Cleveland.
  

• What's not to like about the VC deal to Orlando? For the first time in his career, Carter won't be called upon to carry the brunt of the scoring load. The Magic needed to figure out the sketchy Alston-Nelson PG situation and did so swiftly, while also filling their biggest need, a swingman that can slash to the basket and take advantage of the good perimeter shooting on the roster. Major balls award to the Magic brass. They could have been content with their Finals appearance and Nelson coming back at full strength. Instead, they seriously upgraded their team to the NBA elite, just in case there was any doubt they weren't there already.
  

• One caveat: The VC deal makes it slightly less likely the Magic will resign Hedo Turk, who made himself a ton of money after an excellent playoff run. Rightfully so, Turk's agent will seek a 4-5 year deal, and well, I'd like to offer a sympathetic cringe to the team that eventually placates to those demands (looking at you, Detroit). Turkoglu is more valuable to the Magic than any other team because the offense they run is perfect for him. With Nelson running the show, Turk and Lewis as the shooters spreading the floor, VC as the primary scoring option off the wing, and Howard more than able to hold his own down low, I couldn't imagine a starting five that fits better together. I hope they re-sign Hedo, but I wouldn't bet on it.
  

• Richard Jefferson to the Spurs! It's almost like Popovich and RC Buford realized that plugging their holes with crappy Euros and washed up vets was no longer working. Jefferson will provide the solid perimeter defense that Bruce Bowen received credit for but hasn't provided in four years. He'll also be able to spell Manu during the season so that he is fresher for the playoffs. I'm not gonna go overboard on the DaJuan Blair pick, but if he can provide a Big Baby/Leon Powe type infusion to the Spurs bench, that would be a plus. Suddenly, the Spurs are a solid MLE acquisition away from being "done" to throwing themselves right back into the CLE-LAL-ORL-BOS category.
  

• Poor Yao Ming. Being 7'6 must suck. Well except for the millions of dollars he's made. Allow me to rephrase. Being 7'6 and hailing from an oppressive communist party dictatorship that forces you to play through career-threatening injuries for a shitty national team every summer must suck.
  

• Anyways, I really like the way this summer is shaping up for the Lig. One of the NBA's biggest problems in recent years was non-franchise guys being paid like franchise guys (VC, Jefferson, Bosh, Gasol, Pierce, KG). All those guys have been Da Main on crappy lottery teams in the last 2-3 seasons; and now, all are on contending squads, save for Bosh (who will be paired up with either LeBron or Wade next summer, believe that). None of those guys should ever be franchise players, but put them together, or alongside true franchise players (Kobe, LBJ, Wade, Duncan, Howard) and what you're looking at is a highly competitive upper class of teams. I'm fine with this. I want to see the best players in the playoffs. It's not like baseball, where its a big-market-little-market situation, as Orlando, San Antonio, and Cleveland are all involved. Simply put, the second tier of NBA stars are realizing that if they want their ring, they need to give up some shots, let go of some ego, and play with better players. This should make for yet another great season in what is shaping up to be a phenomenal era of NBA basketball.
  

Finally, the Jamal Crawford deal: I don't really like it, but won't know for sure until camp breaks.

As far as I have seen from his game, he can do one thing well...score. He's not a great shooter, he's not a great passer. His assist-TO ratio isn't anything special. No team with Crawford starting has ever made the playoffs. No team with Crawford on the roster has either.

Now, I do like Jamal Crawford off the bench. As a 6th man, playing the Flip role of instant offense, Crawford would be a legitimate asset. If the Hawks re-sign Bibby or sign Andre Miller or some other quality starting PG (Ty Lue/Anthony Carter don't count), then Crawford off the bench, backing up both guard positions and allowing Joe to play less than 44mpg is an enormous upgrade.

I don't see it playing out that way, however. I think the Hawks brought in Crawford to be the starting PG. Unfortunately, dude needs the ball in his hands to be effective. If Joe Johnson is running the offense for 18 out of the 24 seconds of the shotclock, what is Crawford doing? If we are to believe that the Hawks already had too many shooters and were better off when someone (i.e. Marvin or Josh Smith) was out, allowing more clearly defined roles among the scorers, than how does adding another scorer to the mix help? Does this mean Marvin is gone? Can you really rock out with a starting lineup of Crawford-JoeJ-Marvin-Smoove-Horford? That could turn into one of those "I gotta get mine" Nuggets squads from 05-08 pretty quickly, and I don't see Mike Woodson as some sort of offensive genius that is able to figure it all out.

So there you go. More questions than answers with the Hawks right now. May as well wait and see what they do in free agency before the annual fretting. Credit to Sund and the Atlanta Spirit for mixing it up and doing something already this summer. Now we just got to figure out what that something is.

Same Brave World

The 2009 Atlanta Braves are what they are.

There was some optimism coming into the season, most of which centered around excitement (though I'd argue it was more of relief) following the signings of Derek Lowe and Kenshin Kawakami after being rebuffed by several free agents and in the Jake Peavy sweepstakes. I didn't share the same optimism...Javy Vazquez strikes alot of people out, sure, but his WHIP and ERA define average. Lowe has never been a staff ace, revisionist history be damned. I didn't know shit about Kawakami, but I did know that the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers and Mariners seem to outbid everyone for every Japaneese player worth a damn. KK's other top suitors? The Astros and Orioles. All this, and the starting rotation was considered the team's strength heading into the season.

That much has proven true, simply because the offense has been so anemic. The offense ranks 13th in the NL in runs and homers, 11th in hits. OPS? They're 14th. Outside of Brian McCann, Chipper Jones, and possibly Yunel Escobar, there isn't a bat in the lineup that is better than the league average at their position. Kelly Johnson and Jeff Francoeur have been significant detriments to the offense, and though many a Braves fan would like to see them traded; Johnson has about as much trade value as Ryan Langerhans at this point, and Francoeur's isn't much higher (though I will say I have seen flashes, albeit very, very, very brief flashes of patience and better timing at the plate in recent weeks).

The defense is average at best, there is a very good 8th-9th inning combo out of the pen, but the middle relief sucks (not too different from everyone else's, needs to be said). So where does all the above get you? Treading water at 3 games below .500, where they have been all season. Only four games behind first place Philadelphia, but only in front of the epically bad Washington Nationals in the NL East.

There probably aren't anymore Nate McLouth-type acquisitions to be made to this team, as they are almost at their projected payroll; and they have traded away enough prospects over the last few months that you won't see any selling-the-farm type trades anytime soon. The best thing for this Braves team going into the second half would be:

1. Francoeur to realize his potential, stop swinging at garbage, and simply focus on putting the ball in play, even if this leads to him becoming a contact singles hitter.

2. Garrett Anderson to continue playing as he has the last month of the season, and not the first month.

3. Peter Moylan continues to emerge as a strong 7th inning option out of the pen.

4. Tommy Hanson gives the Braves as dominant a 5th starter as you can find in the majors.

Easier said than done, sure. But if those four things can happen, and the rest of the season plays out on par, you could see the Braves battling for a wild card slot in September. Anything less, and you're looking at just another average team that couldn't "get over the hump" and "didn't catch any breaks."

And while we are here, some Braves Bullets:

• This article, from the now-infamous SI calling Francoeur "The Natural" is just stupefying to read for years after the fact. Some choice hyperbolic passages:
• "Francoeur smiles, and the darkened living room brightens."
• Tim Hudson said of Francoeur, "He's like Roy Hobbs. I'm waiting for him to come out of the bullpen and start striking guys out, throwing 98 [mph]. Or to start hitting bombs lefthanded."
• "He saw a total of 16 pitches, on par with his economical average of 3.34 pitches per plate appearance." (emphasis mine)
  
• He occasionally frets about selectivity and actually once watched video of his at bats until McCann sauntered by and said, "That's not you. That's not what got you here." Francoeur agrees. "When I don't think," he says, "I do well."
• To settle those old autumn scores for his hometown team, Francoeur will move earth and heaven.

• I attended games one and two of the Yankees series last week:
• Game one was a joy to watch Hanson pitch. That quick delivery from the midsection reminds me of a young Hideo Nomo, who would almost hold the ball still while finishing his windup before unleashing his pitch.
  
• Before stroking Hanson's balls and anointing him the Braves' savior, please re-read the above Francoeur article.
• What was with all the flashbulbs going off while Rivera was pitching in the 9th? I get that he's an all time great, but hes a closer, not LeBron James or MJ in an 80s dunk contest. Who the hell were these people needing a picture of Rivera pitching to Matt Diaz???
• When Kris Medlin was relieved by Jeff Bennett in game two, I left to go take a leak, not wanting to see the inevitable outcome against A-Rod. In the bathroom, I heard Don Sutton mention on the radio that Bennett had allowed 5 of 15 inherited baserunners to score. While not good, I thought it was much higher...I guarantee I have seen all five of those runners score, and I haven't even watched many Braves games this season. Sure enough, an 0-2 fastball to A-Rod later, and that number is now 7-17. Needless to say, I'm not worried how this injury might affect the pen.
  

• Obviously I'm quite a bit late on this, but I hated the way the Tom Glavine situation was handled. Clearly, bringing Hanson up from Gwinnett was the right move; but it seemed as if Glavine was assured his spot as the 5th starter was secure and he wasn't having to compete for a spot. If the Braves' weren't going to make that distinction to him clear, they probably shouldn't have had re-signed him, as letting him go after pitching a 13 scoreless innings in rehab isn't exactly the best PR move. Glavine's subsequent sabbatical for the remainder of the season, combined with Hanson's hot start have subsided the ugliness of the whole situation, but you never want to see a local legend go out like that. Even if we are all aware it's a business, and nothing personal.
  

TANTRIC BLOGASM STARTS NOW

The recent death of Michael Jackson made us here at Sue's realize just how precious life really is, and how we should spend every waking moment living it up. Actually, it really didn't, and hence here I am at night, blogging my ass off for you, our one remaining reader after our month-long blogbattical.

Rather than one long, meandering post for you to skim over, we'll tackle the recent going ons for the Braves, Hawks, Dawgs in separate posts, so as to bore you in succinct processions. This being June, we haven't missed much other than a preordained-yet-competitive NBA finals and a boring as hell NBA Draft. And more Favre retirement bullshit.

Alas, let's kick off TANTRIC BLOGASM with a clip that makes you cringe nearly as much as that second right before a tantric...bah, you get the picture. Enjoy Jamie Foxx killing this poor comedian's career at the Shaq Roast of Emmitt Smith from a few years back.

Bawlin' Cawlin' 06-11-09

The current state of Sue's

WHOA. Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA. One week shy of not posting a single perspective in a month, Sue's is finally back for a quick hit on today's Finals game. We understand that we sucked you in, stole your vested interest and bolted like a 2-bit prostitute stealing your wallet and running to make rent.

But, just like a crack whore, we're back for more. We apologize for the considerably long drought here at Sue's, but without delving too deeply into the current events plaguing your favorite blog proprietors, let's just say we're on an extended period of silence for valid reasons. Plus, we've already made the front page of Deadspin, so, really, what the hell is left?

No, but really. In all honesty this period of prolonged procrastination couldn't have come at a better time. We've got a few months of baseball-only to get our respective shizes together, and we'll be back on you like the bacne on Piazza. Hey-O!

On to the bets. Spread across the table for the Finals Edition of Bawlin' is a round-trip plane ticket between Atlanta and Phoenix, plus alcohol expenses for an entire weekend.

This shortened Cawlin' is going to be as exciting as a night with that 3-breasted woman from Total Recall. I told you I was freaky!

Finals Record
SJF: 0-0
OBJ: 0-0

Today's Wager

OBJ: Lakers/Orlando OVER 201
SJF: Lakers (+2) Over Orlando

Post-Mortem on an Unsatisfying, Satisfying Season

We didn't write anything much of note during the Hawks-Cavs series. In our eyes, it has all been said. Sure we could re-hash the same shit that had been said all season about JoeJ being given the keys to the O ala a Kobe or Wade, Horford needing more touches, Acie getting more run, Smoove being wasted on the perimeter, etc. etc. etc. But in all honestly, we've grown sick of saying we're sick of repeating those same complaints. So when those and other issues reared their ugly head during the Cavs series, it was no surprise.

Injuries and, by extension, a weak bench didn't help. Neither did the fact that the Cavs are just a better coached team that also features the best player on the fucking planet. That the Hawks lost was not a surprise.

In all honesty though, I was hoping for a run akin to the Celtics series last year. Maybe pushing it to seven games would have been a stretch, but a home win or two was not out of the question. Alas, it was not meant to be, and here is where we stand as Hawks fans:

• With a coach that has done a below-average-at-best job of developing the plethora of talent on the roster or devising a gameplan to fit their talents. It should be noted that due to THE ASSHATS THAT ARE THE ATLANTA SPIRIT, said coach will be retained despite eleven (!) playoff losses of greater than ten points in a year's time.
  

• A "best player" that will never the best player on a championship team. I love JoeJ, and in the right situation, he can absolutely be an all-star on a contender (think Paul Pierce last year). But he absolutely cannot be the end-all-be-all in crunch time situations.
  

• A free agent point guard that, while aging, is a ideal fit for this team. You can either resign said point guard, or head into next season with the two options being Acie Law, who hates the coach, and Speedy Claxton, whose expiring contract could be one of the Hawks main weapons next year. Let's just move on.
  

• Marvin Williams as a restricted free agent. If you don't anticipate this situation playing out exactly like Josh Smith's "lowball offer--->teams scared off by 10 day matching period--->sign a below market contract with a shitty team--->Hawks match offer" last year, well then you just haven't been following the Hawks long enough.

• Two quality players overseas (Josh Childress, David Andersen) that the Hawks hold the rights to. There about a 0.0000000006% chance that either of them will ever suit up for this team in the future.
  

• Josh Smith trade rumors. Please. He's not going anywhere, nor should he. As anyone who's watched the playoffs the last two seasons, he has the talent and ability to be our best player on the court, and often is. Unfortunately, he also doesn't get along with ole Woody, so stagnation will reign supreme.
  

So does anyone anticipate any upcoming moves by the Hawks this offseason, other than a couple of Flip Murray/MoE signings to replenish the bench and make up for natural free agent attrition? (Zaza, you will be missed, but you'll no doubt be relieved to know that you will retain your spot on Sue's sidebar indefinitely.) As long as this ownership mess continues, there is probably no bigtime shakeup coming in the near future, so trying to guess any impending moves is ultimately useless. This means you're looking at a Wizards-type situation, where your nucleus (with the current coach) probably has a ceiling of a 4 or 5 seed and the conference semis.

This was undoubtedly the most enjoyable Hawks season in more than a decade. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be much room for an improvement in personnel or on the sideline. That, combined with the way the Hawks went out against the Cavs, kind of puts a sour taste on a sweet season.