Bawlin' Cawlin' 01-25-10: You Got Our Balls

At the PLAYGROOOOOOUND. Y'know?

There are so many ways to approach this. Perhaps we could not even mention that we haven't posted in nearly six months, but we think this would immediately make us lose credibility with all seven of you (lookin' at you, Jesse!). Or, we could attack one of the myriad stories out there, boldly stating that there is absolutely no way in HELL we could remain retired when such an incredible, unprecedented sports-happening is, well, happening. You know. Like Tiger Woods living up in so many comedic ways to his moniker. WOODs. Heheh. You Tiger. Or the latest Favre watch (don't worry, we won't address this until either a) he officially retires or b) he rejoins the Vikings in August). Or Pete Carroll. Or GOOD GOD Lane Kiffin. But really, it only seemed to make sense to parallel our resurgence with someone else's - albeit considerably more brave - rebirth.

Ain't no one that can argue. If he can do it, so can we.

What's 'gonna happen in this long-awaited sequel to Sue's breakout season? Will we have live footage of fresh lemon juice being squeezed into one of our eyes for the sake of our bet? Will we change our handles?? Will we shamelessly murder metaphors with pinpoint-precision-prose?! Will Stringer Bell somehow find a way to live and branch off on his own well-deserved spin-off??! Anything and everything is on the table this year, folks. It's 2010. How many of you actually thought you'd live this long?

Plenty of stories to come. But for now, let's get to the games.

Ed. Note: If you want us to apologize for taking our balls home and playing with them without all of you, well...the ball's bouncin in the playground, ya'll.

Now we can all play!

Records
OBJ: 0-0
Joe Friday: 0-0

Last year was front row seats to a Braves game and all the beer the winner could drink. This year's bet to come. Hell. This is so exciting I could, too.

Today's Picks
Last year, picking a combined 52 games, Joe Friday and I combined for an above .650 winning percentage. Do you have any IDEA how hard that is? I'm too lazy to research this because it's so obscure, but I heard on a radio show or something that you're lucky to get 30% on NBA games. Including professional gamblers, who stay away from NBA games. Good enough for me!

Joe Friday 1: Cleveland +1 over Miami

Joe Friday 2: Houston (PK) over Atlanta
Let me get this straight. The first Bawlin' in seven months, and this loon goes against his home team?

OBJ 1: Atlanta (PK) Houston

OBJ 2: Phoenix (+7.5) over Utah
Yup. Let's hope this isn't a trend towards making picks based on the sentimental, but somehow, I have to feel like the stars aligning with Friday's bonehead against-the-A pick and Phoenix's generous helping to a delicious spread. I'm going with my old home team, and my new home team. AND YES IT'S OKAY TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE TEAM YOU ROOT FOR BECAUSE OF PREVIOUS PROXIMITY.

Come and get it.


And an extra present for the lazy fans.