Bawlin' Cawlin' 01-26-10: The Duality of Rooting

Let's agree to agree.

Sunday night when reached for comment after it became official that he would start in the 2010 All Star game, Allen Iverson stated that he would not listen to critics who said he should bow out and allow other, more deserving players such as, I don't know, Rajon Rondo, Joe Johnson, Josh Smith or Derrick Rose to start in the game in his stead. Hell, one could even make a half-assed yet still respectable argument for Danny Granger, Stephen Jackson, Monta Ellis, Gerald Wallace, Al Jefferson, Rodney Stuckey or Kevin Martin.

After the requisite 1.5 seconds of thought, I agreed with AI's decision. I mean, the rules are the rules, and Iverson's just following protocol. Plus, if you can name me a better example of a "fan's player" (in the same vein as the "player's coach"), you've got a free post in this space. No doubt, AI's reputation and well-documented icy relationship with David Stern may ultimately make this year the catalyst that alters the way All-Star voting is done. Of course, there's no way the NBA will completely dissolve fan voting, but partial fan voting is certainly on the table. In any case, Iverson has a right to start, and I agree with his decision to play.

But then, in this week's Sports Illustrated issue, it was revealed that Yao Ming - knowing that China's massive population and considerable NBA fan base would undoubtedly make him the top vote-getter once again - called up the commissioner's office before the season started to formally request the removal of his name from the ballot. Yao may or may not play a single game this season. It's unlikely. AI walked out on his second team in as many seasons and, while it's a great story of redemption, has done little with his one and only 76ers.

1.5 seconds was way too long to consider this one. With this decision, Yao Ming has become one of my favorite players in the NBA. Maybe it wasn't even his idea. Maybe it was his publicist's. It CERTAINLY wasn't China's, who will lose their 50% stake in Yao's potential All-Star bonus. Props to you, Yao. Also, I miss your Ultimate Sad Face, which has entertained me me for years.

One of the realest things in sports.

This entire situation raises one of the great conundrums of sports: how can we root for two opposing ideas at the exact same time? How can I root for the Saints to win their conference championship game with an interception from the opposing quarterback, yet still feel enough respect that I feel bad for Brett Favre? How can I be a Yankees fan and still feel even a morsel of sanctification from seeing the Red Sox finally win the Series (this was before the fans became so unbearable, obviously). Even though I don't give three uncomfortably squirty shits about tennis, my obvious and only rotting interest is with any American. And yet, if I find Roger Federer in the finals against anyone BUT an American, I actually have a degree of interest in seeing the Swiss-born player when. It's the same with this situation. In opposites on nearly the exact same table, I find myself respecting both of the players.

This is truly one of the greatest things about sports. The duality of rooting interest cannot be quantified or otherwise explained. It just, is. I would almost go so far as to say that any true sports fan, when all is said and done, hates to see ANY entity lose. No matter how much you hate a franchise, or even a player, anyone who's ever played sports knows that losing the big one is more heart breaking than finding out why your wife's been spending so much time with your house's renovation crew.

So, without seemingly any logic whatsoever, kudos to both Yao Ming and Allen Iverson, for doing precisely opposite things. On to the games!

Records
OBJ: 1-1
Joe Friday: 1-1

After careful consideration, Friday and I have decided that we'll keep it simple this year. Hey, I don't know what your portfolio's looking like, but we're using ours for toilet paper.

So, tickets to a Braves game and all the beer the victor can drink is on the table. At this point, a 50% off price tag on a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 due to the cap seal being broken would excite me, so this is just downright mind-boggling.

Today's Picks
Starting out much the same way as last year, we are neck and neck. Not to spoil your tension, but I'm going to pull away and take this like a sprinting midnight hooker clutching a wallet.

Joe Friday 1: Milwaukee/Dallas OVER 197

Joe Friday 2: Golden State/Sacramento UNDER 220.5

OBJ 1: Lakers (-8) over Washington

OBJ 2: Phoenix (-5) over Charlotte
The Suns are abysmal in the second of back-to-back games this year. After failing at the sentimental pick yesterday, if Phoenix doesn't come through for me tonight it's the last time I bet on them all season.

Bawlin' Cawlin' 01-25-10: You Got Our Balls

At the PLAYGROOOOOOUND. Y'know?

There are so many ways to approach this. Perhaps we could not even mention that we haven't posted in nearly six months, but we think this would immediately make us lose credibility with all seven of you (lookin' at you, Jesse!). Or, we could attack one of the myriad stories out there, boldly stating that there is absolutely no way in HELL we could remain retired when such an incredible, unprecedented sports-happening is, well, happening. You know. Like Tiger Woods living up in so many comedic ways to his moniker. WOODs. Heheh. You Tiger. Or the latest Favre watch (don't worry, we won't address this until either a) he officially retires or b) he rejoins the Vikings in August). Or Pete Carroll. Or GOOD GOD Lane Kiffin. But really, it only seemed to make sense to parallel our resurgence with someone else's - albeit considerably more brave - rebirth.

Ain't no one that can argue. If he can do it, so can we.

What's 'gonna happen in this long-awaited sequel to Sue's breakout season? Will we have live footage of fresh lemon juice being squeezed into one of our eyes for the sake of our bet? Will we change our handles?? Will we shamelessly murder metaphors with pinpoint-precision-prose?! Will Stringer Bell somehow find a way to live and branch off on his own well-deserved spin-off??! Anything and everything is on the table this year, folks. It's 2010. How many of you actually thought you'd live this long?

Plenty of stories to come. But for now, let's get to the games.

Ed. Note: If you want us to apologize for taking our balls home and playing with them without all of you, well...the ball's bouncin in the playground, ya'll.

Now we can all play!

Records
OBJ: 0-0
Joe Friday: 0-0

Last year was front row seats to a Braves game and all the beer the winner could drink. This year's bet to come. Hell. This is so exciting I could, too.

Today's Picks
Last year, picking a combined 52 games, Joe Friday and I combined for an above .650 winning percentage. Do you have any IDEA how hard that is? I'm too lazy to research this because it's so obscure, but I heard on a radio show or something that you're lucky to get 30% on NBA games. Including professional gamblers, who stay away from NBA games. Good enough for me!

Joe Friday 1: Cleveland +1 over Miami

Joe Friday 2: Houston (PK) over Atlanta
Let me get this straight. The first Bawlin' in seven months, and this loon goes against his home team?

OBJ 1: Atlanta (PK) Houston

OBJ 2: Phoenix (+7.5) over Utah
Yup. Let's hope this isn't a trend towards making picks based on the sentimental, but somehow, I have to feel like the stars aligning with Friday's bonehead against-the-A pick and Phoenix's generous helping to a delicious spread. I'm going with my old home team, and my new home team. AND YES IT'S OKAY TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE TEAM YOU ROOT FOR BECAUSE OF PREVIOUS PROXIMITY.

Come and get it.


And an extra present for the lazy fans.