Running around to Give you the Reacharound


BLOGASM 10.30 - In which I speak rhetorically to people I will never meet....

...while enjoying Bud Select out of a can? What the hell is wrong with me?

Couple things I wanted to quickly comment on:

My support of Mike Vick has been well documented in this space before (shit, click the Vick tag's probably one of the more popular ones and dude hasn't been in the news the whole time this blog been up), but I don't think I'm out of line saying that this is complete bullshit, and a legitimate breach of power. The money quote:
"Vick's lawyers had requested that he be allowed to enter the plea from federal prison (...) But citing high public interest in the case, Surry County Circuit Judge Samuel Campbell said it would be better for Vick to appear in person. (...) Prosecutor Gerald Poindexter preferred that Vick's plea wait until his release from federal prison. He objected to the video conferencing motion on grounds that it has never been used in Virginia and he didn't want the county to set a precedent."

Well at least that Campbell fuckwad is honest. He's also a shamless media whore that desperately needs a beatdown by a few of Vick's former dogs themselves. "High public interest in this case"? Give me a break. It is not in the public's interest AT ALL for Vick to have to fly to Virginia and enter his plea. All that is doing is costing taxpayers money, when he could easily be doing it from prison in Kansas at minimal expense. But nooo, you had to get your 4 minutes of fame, drag this disgraced NFL star that has suffered enough through a few extra days of media coverage and courtroom proceedings just so you could see your name in the paper and on TV a few extra times. Go fuck yourself, "judge." You're the disgrace. I don't know if that is an elected office in Virginia, but if it is, and you're a reader who could vote for this guy...please DON'T. Vote for anyone else.

As for you, Poindexter, God forbid a precedent be set that saves bureaucratic time and money. Who the hell would want to be the prosecutor that brought that to the legal system in this country? Whatever, you should've just admitted you wanted the inevitable media circus around your case as well.

Vick has paid the price. Move on, people.


On a lighter note, has any coach ever gone from "hot coaching prospect" to "batshit crazy" as fast as Mike Singletary has? In the span of one game he publicy embarrassed his starting TE on the sidelines, went off on an already-epic postgame tirade, and now it has come off that he mooned his team at halftime and spoke to them with his pants around his ankles. Hmm.

The 49ers lost that game by the way 34-13 to a pretty bad Seahawks team. Whatever...all that apologizing he did to the fans and everyone? Totally unecessary...eevryone expected you to lose that game, Mike! Hell, half your fans were hopefully betting money on y'all to lose! You're team isn't very good! This isn't necessary! You might have been a candidate for a permanant head coaching job somewhere in the NFL next year! Now, you'll be lucky to outlast Marvin Lewis by the end of the year...and are probably now destined to be some wacky-intense college coach at a 2nd tier Big-10 school or something.


Finally, congrats to the Phillies on the World Series win. But enough about their fans, eh. They waited 25 years for a title, big whoop. Plenty of cities have had it worse than that, plus, in the 70s and early 80s, Philly won a fair share of pro titles. Save the "tortured fan" talk for when the Cubs or Indians or hell even Rangers/Padres win a title.

Anyways, again, congrats to the Phillies. With the top two of their rotation still extremely young and most all their lineup under the age of 30 and signed to long term deals, this team is going to be very, very competitive for a long time. And because they are the Mets, that will always have a high payroll and the ability to acquire top-notch players (even if they whiff on alot of them). Brave new world in the NL East, indeed.



These folk know how to have fun. No Bullshit.

Why am I watching Grindhouse featuring an incredible cinematic highlight of a one-legged girl, hot as Rose McGowen may be, in a 7-minute sex scene. Ooh but I forgot! The scene with Quentin Terrintino. This shit rocks. (pause six minutes to watch scene). Anyway. Am I a huge zombie movie fan? Fuck yeah. Would I watch nearly any zombie movie at any given time? Prolly. But the potential last game of the World Series is on. Sure I stood up and tuned in just in time for the National Anthem, but then I immediately turned it and haven't seen it since. All I'm saying is, you've got the NFL canceling its Sunday night game to be gentlemanly, and Baseball's just doing a terrible job marketing itself. K I'll check the score real quick.

Two nothin Phils top o da third.

And Quentin gets the peg leg in the eye. Fuckin awesome.

See what happens when you do a Shot Callin' on a fucking Monday?!

So we're headed to JAX ya'll. Did anyone out there think it wouldn't come down to this for the Bulldogs? Doubtful. There's not much point in trying not to be homerly on the eve of the biggest Saturday for UGA since the last time Florida crushed our Championship hopes. Just calling this the most important game tells me straight up Florida is still in the minds of Georgia fans, but I know for a fact that the Red and Black is painted all over those jolly jortsin' Georgia haters' minds now, too.

It's raining in the World Series. That's pretty cool.

--->Back 24 hours later, and we've got a Game 5 stalled in the middle of the game with the next day canceled. "What an ominous way to end the first part of that blawg yesterday," I absently thought to myself driving to work. This works out well for baseball. Draws a little interest. I'm sure I'll be turning on the game or looking at it at a bar in JAX, it being Friday and all. Assuming the Rays can make it to 7. Good luck!

Did I mention it's Georgia-Florida weekend? What a fudgin joke that Michael Adams restricted anyone from calling it the Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, eh? When he made this referendum and everyone - including and most influentially the media - followed suit, I thought, "hey lol-at-this fucking guy" just 'cause he was an asshole. But now, 5 years later, isn't the yolk really all up on him? I mean, people are nonstop with calling it the LOCP even still. Some of them don't even bother to say "former" before. Mike Adams, you're a prick.

I'm not really going to get into the rest of the games, in case you haven't noticed. This is it. This is the game I knew was coming ever since someone said, "Look at this Mathew Stafford guy that just committed," then intensified when someone answered "Moe-ray-know" to my "who the fuck was that?." It was this year. It was this game and it could not have followed any more perfectly in terms of drama. This is, by far, the most anticipated football game of my life.

On a related note, if you find that OBJ hasn't posted in a while, it's quite possible there's a good reason for it. Not sayin, just sayin.

Travel safely Bulldog Nation.

Go Dawgs.


Joe Friday here with some quick thoughts on this week's game. For better and more coherent analysis, check out Hey Jenny Slater or this Florida fan's surprisingly fair and balanced take on the game. Me, I keep it simple like stupid:

Georgia will win if...

  • They control time of possession. Usually I find this stat fairly useless, but in this case, I want to see the Dawgs run the ball as much as possible, burn the clock and keep Florida's inexperienced defense on the field for looooong stretches of the game. I think Georgia can win a shootout with the Gators, but I'd rather not go there. Keeping our offense on the field keeps their's off the field. And that's what we call a win-win.
  • Florida's offense is extremely efficient. Tim Tebow has 164 passing attempts to Matt Stafford's 229. The Gators two leading rushers have a combined 79 carries, compared to the Dawgs' 208. Jeff Demps and Chris Rainey are fast as shit and are running around everyone thus far. Add Emmanuel Moody to the mix and the Gators have a bunch of speedy tailbacks (that have never faced a defense like ours). Let them get into the open field and this defense that couldn't bring down Charles Scott last week could be left in the dust more than a couple times. Force UF to run the ball between the tackles and pound the shit out of those guys all game. At this point I trust our front seven to tackle those three more than the secondary. Tebow will get his share of completions, and the receivers, yards after the catch. Hopefully the tackling back there will be up to speed and we can at least contain at least one portion of their offense.
  • Give 120%. Sorry, didn't seem like a real "Keys to the Game" segment without something like that.
One quick note: My buddy Clos has an excellent idea on what he would like to see Saturday: Mark Richt telling his players to get another celebration penalty after they score their first touchdown. It doesn't even have to the the whole team...just the players on the field could re-enact a minor version of last year's revelry and that would be good enough. Will it happen? No chance in hell. But I still think it'd be pretty cool to see the look on Meyer's face if it did. Not to mention it would basically be a "fuck you" to Florida and probably affect their psyche (I could see a few chop blocks soon after something like that...). It's a good thing Coach Richt and Co. are alot classier and cool-headed than Clos and myself.


This Week's Picks:

Georgia (+6) over Florida - $10

Auburn (+6) over Ole Miss - $15

Arkansas (+7) over Tulsa - $10

Missouri (-21) over Baylor - $15

Texas (-5.5) over Texas Tech - $10

FSU (+1) over Georgia Tech - $15

OBJ's Inferior Pick:

WVU (-3) over Connecticut - $10

Why does it seem like Miami and Virginia have played each other like 5 times already?

Illinois (-5) over Iowa - $5

Pretty sure I'd pick the over on this too. But it's fucking TUESDAY and the o/u isn't up yet.

Last Week: 4-4

2008 Inferior Picks: 4-3

2008 Overall Record: 40-33-2

2008 Pot: $140

Cautious Optimism: Hawks Season Preview

When the hell did this logo exist?

I haven't been this pumped heading into a Hawks season since 99-00 season, better known as the year of the failed JR Rider experiment. Hopefully this year goes the EXACT OPPOSITE of that one (54-28 if you're keeping score).

Quick thoughts re: the local basketball collective on what is, as I watch the Celtics get handed their rings by a beaming David Stern, beginning to feel like Christmas Eve. If college football is like combining JW Blue, sex with a pornstar, a meal at The Palm and a Bob Dylan concert; then the NBA is like combining JW Black, sex with a stripper, a meal at the Sugo's and an Eminem concert circa 2004. In other words, its fucking awesome.

1. I've been to every big game of the Richt era, attended multiple Braves playoffs games in the 90's, sat in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium and was even in the Omni when the Atlanta Knights clinched the Turner Cup...and yet, I've never enjoyed or had a better time at a sporting event than I did during Games 3 and 6 of the Boston series. I don't think there is a community more starved for quality basketball than Atlanta, and those three games last spring showed just how rowdy an atmosphere exciting playoff basketball brings to this city. I would not miss a playoff game this year.

2. Like an ex-girlfriend you just wish would move away, maybe it's a good thing for Josh Childress to be 20,000 miles away from me. He's toyed with my emotions too damn much over the last few years. I resented him his first couple of years, mainly because Billy Knight was dumb enough to take him over Luol Deng and Andre Iguodala. As time went on, I grew to appreciate his strengths and accept him for what he was: a good bench player that did everything well and nothing great. but always seemed to have a knack for coming up with a big play or being at the right spot at the right time. Then he up and bolts to Greece. Not saying I blame him, the hookup he got contained everything short of his own Greek shipping heiress.

Anyways, NBA writers and analysts have turned this into the second coming of the ABA losing Dr. J to the NBA. It's Josh Childress. I haven't seen this much overreaction by folks over a bench player since Brent Barry (the X-factor!!!) to the Spurs a few years had folks thinking they'd just landed St. Peter himself to come off the bench. Again, it's Josh Childress. He's replaceable. But unfortunately....

3. The Hawks choose to replace him with a bunch of 9th and 10th men, and according to most pundits have one of the worst, if not the worst, benches in the league. Early preseason game reports on Flip Murray and Mo Evans have been promising, so I'm definitely hopeful, but kind of in the same way that I am about the Braves' bullpen every March.

4. One guy who won't be included in that bench is Randolph Morris, the wild-card free agent signing that can't catch a break since committing to Kentucky (in as much as a 22-year-old millionaire can't catch a break), who has played his way out of the rotation. Apparently his year with the Knicks taught him plenty. Morris has really established himself as the MC Ren to AAU teammates' Dwight Howard and Josh Smith's Dr. Dre and Ice Cube.

5. As far as the starting five go, I may be a homer in saying this, but I love these guys. I believe Horford has the opportunity to be one of the league's elite big men, maybe as soon as this season. While nothing would surprise me this season in terms of Josh Smith's production going up or taking a step back this season, it's a lock that he will remain one of the most exciting players in the L to watch. Let's just hope he doesn't go Kirilenko on us. We may know what we're getting with JoeJ at this point, and all-star caliber play is fine with me. I remain an ardent Marvin Williams supporter (seriously, everyone can rag on the Hawks for taking him over Paul/Deron, but he was the clear-cut #1 or 2 prospect heading into that draft. Every team would have done likewise), but I'm cautiously optimistic that his jumper has improved this season. Hopefully, an improved jumper from Marvin means less outside shots (and more penetration) from Smith. There may be a few better starting fives out there, but there's not one I enjoy watching more. Yes, I realize that makes me either insane or a FreeDarko apostle.

6. That rant on how much I love our starting five brings me to my final point of this here rambling...Coach Mike Woodson. There's plenty of better Hawks bloggers that can count the ways Coach Woody and his 1980's Indiana halfcourt-offense are a terrible fit for his personnel, so I won't go into it. The ownership situation has obviously handcuffed this franchise into pursuing an elite or innovative coach that could truly take advantage of this athletic roster. As a Hawks fan, trust me, it's better not to think of these things. Let's just hope Woodson can find a balance between running his starters ragged like a twice-divorced Texas high school football coach during two-a-days; and allowing some of the younger talent on the bench (Acie Law, and umm Zaza) to develop without putting the squad at a competitive disadvantage. Again, Cautiously's my personal slogan for this season.

Prediction: Mediocre to bad bench, a poor fit for a head coach, but five very good starters, four of whose games are still improving as they haven't hit their primes yet, and a point guard who will have a full season to gel with his teammates. I'm seeing a .500 team and a four game improvement over last season, to wit a 41-41 record. And for all the (truthful) talk of the Eastern Conference being much improved, a .500 record will get you in the playoffs this year. Believe that.


PART 1 of an Absurdly Long NBA Preview: Western Conference - Contenda's

Couple o' these guys have staying power. Can you find the one that doesn't belong?

Editor's Note: Intro and necessary punctuation added after-fact. All chat completed nonstop, over a period of 2-3 hours.

Hey, as a fairly hardcore Rockets fan for pretty much no reason at all, I hate to take a dig on dat Franchise boy. But look at the stark differential up there. This is how we measure how truly great our current greats are. And out of all of the above? For the record, for their prime, Sue's going to build her franchise around Timmy. Every time.

The Western Conference could be more open than we initially think. Some things were certain last year...several teams would compete at or near the top at an insanely high level, still competitive-but-not-as-spectacular teams will compete at the bottom. And we received one of the most impressive showings by an NBA conference ever. And lookie up there. You know who's missing from up there? I mean technically nobody because it's the starting lineup for the '04 Western Conference, but where's fucking T-Mac baby? In your face with Ron Ron watching his back, that's where bitch! Watch out for the Rockets this year. That's all I'm saying. Bets with Sgt. Joe Jibber Friday to come later and ongoing, folks. On to the preview...

JF:: Who's winning it all? Everyone and their mother's mother's picking the Lakers.

OBJ:: That's probably because it's an incredibly safe bet

And on that note, I'd like to introduce the only piece of existential introspection to this NBA Preview

I wonder, how much can an athlete drop off in a year?

Vicariously, of course, how much can I expect to drop off in a year?

JF:: Who you think is dropping off?

OBJ:: the nonstop chattering of which players are "dropping off" and by how much is a constant reminder of not only my own mortality, but also my dwindling youth

it's disturbing, frightening and a little depressing, but in a calming sort of way.

JF:: well, i think what we're seeing in that respect is pretty unprecedented...simply because that first generation of HS-to-NBA stars are finally hitting the end of their prime (KG, Kobe, TMac, J-O'N)

OBJ:: I only bring this up because I wonder how much T-DUNK has dropped this year

JF:: so they've played so much more games than most 30-32 year olds in history

they might be dropping off sooner than expected

OBJ:: hmm. That's true but they've also had unprecedented conditioning techniques and medical support

TMac hasn't played nearly as many games as those guys tho

Perhaps my love affair of T-Mac will end soon

Another first-round exit from the playoffs and I will officially give up on him as one of my favorite players

As I have with the Clemson Pussycats this year

JF:: It's not like T-Mac's body is any fresher or less banged up than those guys.

If anything, I like KG to be able to stay productive for a few more years morseo than the others

OBJ:: you would think i would be considering how many less games he's played. and that thought is ridiculous because he played less games 'cause of injury.

JF:: As Simmons pointed out, Kobe has been playing non-stop for about a year now

OBJ:: KG would be the safe bet to continue his production. His game requires a bit less athleticism than Kobe's and TMac's

JF:: Anyways thats what worries me about the Rockets...TMac-Battier-Artest-Scola-Yao is a helluva crunchtime lineup

OBJ:: and O'Neil is no longer in the discussion. He's gone to NBA Star purgatory in Toronto, where at best he'll be fighting for playoff spot


JF:: but I have a feeling for like 20-50 games this year their lineup will be Rafer-BrentBarry-Battier-Artest-Scola

and thats a lottery team

nah Raptors be solid yo

OBJ:: I'm sorry but I have to ask, how is T-Mac and "crunchtime" mentioned in the same statement

JF:: Bosh-J-O'N a nice front line, espically in the E.C.

OBJ:: Ugh.

JF:: he'll be out there, bringin the ball up, didn't say anything about crunchtime success

C'mooon. Y'know he wants it...

OBJ:: O'Neil is never going to win a championship there. Period

JF:: well yeah no shit

i'll probably be dead before Toronto ever wins a NBA title

OBJ:: My point exactly

So they'll be fighting for playoff participation, nothing more. His relevancy is gone, guaranteed no HOF.

JF:: still, it was a nice pickup


JF: I usually enjoy picking the Spurs to win the title, but I gotta say I'm dissapointed as fuck in how they refused to get younger this offseason

OBJ:: And I don't see O'Neil being the piece that a championship caliber team looks at and says, "That's what we're missing!!!"

They're pretty locked up in terms of contracts

I think after this year they'll start getting younger

Finley's last year methinks

JF:: They just re-signed Finley

OBJ:: Didn't hear that. And again, I have to say that the Spurs' odds depend heavily on how much T. Duncan has deteriorated

JF:: Bowen at 2 more years/8mil is a joke

OBJ:: Re-signed to how many years?

JF:: He's one of the worst starters in the league


still got scrub OBERTO

Manu out til December

OBJ:: Bruce Bowen couldn't even do his one thing last postseason, defend

JF:: i see them in the 6-8 range in the west til Manu gets back


OBJ:: 'Twas WEAK

JF:: he brings nothing to the table

OBJ:: I think the Spurs have a shot

JF:: I still like the man Kurt Thomas tho

wish he'd gotten more run in last year's playoffs

OBJ:: 100% depends on Timmy and his health

JF:: I do to...Dallas, on the other hand, they done

OBJ:: depends 30% on Kobe not having a meltdown

Dallas for sure done

JF:: (aside: teams/players/salaries)

OBJ:: Rick Carlisle was saying they're going to be running more

JF:: they should

OBJ:: "We've got Jason Kidd so we have to play up tempo."

JF:: plays to their talents


he'd be an idiot not to

or Mike Woodson


OBJ:: Isn't he a little old to be running up and down the court tho?

JF:: its all he can do tho

Kidd can still push it

Kidd: What a Mighty Good Man

OBJ:: f'sho

but man he didn't do shit except bring his "leadership" at the olympics

I love J-Kidd

but he's looking old out there. It's sad to watch

JF:: aint like he's a scrub tho...he still does it in the up-tempo game

OBJ:: Does assists

still no points

good for a few rebounds per game

JF:: thats better than most PGs

H'ain't what you wanna build around, but could make an argument for him being a GAMER?

OBJ:: Which you don't need from your Point any way

Don't get me wrong:

I would love to have my crappy Hawks paying J-Kidd $40 million over the next 3 years, and him pushing us into middle-of-the-pack relevancy (although I like Bibby a LOT), but I'm just saying I don't like him on a Championship contender

unless he's a bench player

JF:: so who do you like in the west then

aside from Lakers

thats cool, here's my 8

1. Lakers

OBJ:: Shit sidetracked. This is 100% West. I'm trying to look at this damn site

JF:: 2. Jazz

OBJ:: It's got too much information

JF:: 3. Nola

4. Houston

5. SanAn

6. Dallas

7. Portland

mah bad

7. Phoenix

8. Portland

pains me to say, but I finally will admit Shaq done

OBJ:: Mine's close to that

JF:: Phoenix got old as shit quickly

GHill, Nash, Shaq...even Amare seems like an injury case

but they do got that wunderkind medical staff

OBJ:: Amare young as shit man

his numbers took a huge leap last year

I'm going

1. Lakers (grudgingly)

JF:: you think Bynum the real?

OBJ:: most interesting thing about the Lakers isn't how many games they'll win, it's how many they'll lose before trading Odum

JF:: i mean just having him around gonna help Gasol tremendously

OBJ:: Gasol0l

JF:: but you think Bynum a legit offensive option/defensive presence?

:10 OBJ:: 7'1" behemoth of a pansy

I haven't seen him play since early last year

it really depends on that recovery

JF:: if you're the Lakers what do you even want for Odom?

what can he bring in that would improve that team?

:14 long range shooter?

OBJ:: Trying to think here

Lockdown D off the bench?

man IDK Odum's pretty good

Guy gets no dap whatsoever though

2. Rockets

100% entirely dependent on Artest acting like a normal human being and T-MAC and Yao not missing a combined 10 games

*20 games

JF:: thats retarded

theyre missing 20 each


OBJ:: they miss 20 games each?

you wanna bet on that?

JF:: yeah

have they ever not?

Yao just played through an injury for China

*the people's republic

OBJ:: dude that's like 28% of the season for both of them

Hmm I forgot about that toe injury or whatever

i like this bet

JF:: last 3 years Yao played in 57, 48, 55 games

Tmac 47, 71, 67

82 games in a season

OBJ:: so Yao hasn't done it

and neither has Tmac

but he came close

JF:: hasnt done what

OBJ:: not missed 20 games last 3 years

JF:: ???

OBJ:: i like my odds on this though

:20 TMAC has missed at least 20 games the last 3 years

so has YAO

JF:: Yao's missed 25, 27, 35 the last 3 years

TMac 35, , 15

anyways continue yo

OBJ:: man I'm tryin to work. SHIT. how much you wanna bet on it

JF:: $100

->1 hour later

OBJ:: Back. Sorry had some "work"

JF:: u had rockets 2

OBJ:: 3. New Orleans

JF:: i didnt buy NO all year last year

OBJ:: FSR, I am not afraid of a Sophomore Slump-type slip in relevancy for this squad

JF:: picked them to lose to Dallas in rd. 1


OBJ:: Yes I remember that

JF:: agree FSR

OBJ:: you were very wrong about last year's playoffs. cost ya a buck or two.

JF:: prolly cuz theyre PG is da fuckin main


OBJ:: yeah. He really is easily the best PG in the league right now, but it's not fair to Deron Williams who plays in a much more restrictive offensive scheme

JF:: yeah I think Williams could be just as good

if not close

Paul is insanely good, but all this "ALL-TIME BEST PG EVER!!!!" talk a tad premature, imo

OBJ:: certainly premature

4. San An

for most of the season they will likely not be here, but I don't think they'd have too much of a problem beating the Jazz in the playoffs

so that's why they foe

5. Jazz

I keep waiting for that team to fall

I just don't get what they have other than a really good coach

that ugly ass shit russian they got on there always seems malcontent too

so, 5 for them

JF:: I like Jazz

DWil-Boozer solid

i like OKUR

i dont get the irrational ROCKET love

OBJ:: I think the Spurs could take them in a series

JF:: oh word

OBJ:: dude they rattled off like 27 wins in a row last year without Yao lol

and they just got one of if not the best defender in the league, placed on the 2nd all-around defensive team

sorry man but the Rockets are going to be fucking good

Adelman in his second year

Theyr'e gonna score too

eoug man that OKC graphic ugly as fuck

looks like a 3rd-tier semi pro hockey team

6. Suns

JF:: yeah i dont get that

they shoulda picked the name Barons

that perfect for OKC

OBJ:: dat woulda been coo

JF:: i bet if Baron Davis was a) a scrub or b) out of the league

they woulda

but Thunder sounds like a damn arena league team

OBJ:: yeah. "Knife Swallowers" woulda worked out better IMO

7. Dallas

8. Denver

that's my western conference and I'm sticking with it

JF:: Denver D-U-N

those the same 8 from last year

watch portland yo

ok the east

there seems to be alot of disagreement on MIA

OBJ:: denver didn't make the playoffs did they?

same 8 as last year damn. that's weak o' me

JF:: personally, i think they'll be pretty fuckin good

OBJ:: dude EAST gotta wait till after lunch

i got shit to do

JF:: k


Sobered Up - Week 9

Gotta add 'Da Main' tag now

Much like Clemson 2003, Tennessee 2003/2005 and Auburn 2006, there are very few things as enjoyable as a distributing a solid ass-kicking in an opponent's home digs. Yesterday was the best game Georgia has played all year, and maybe even since last year's Auburn game. You couldn't ask for a better start to the start of this four-game road trip through the SEC. Some quick thoughts on yesterday's game:

  • Loved the balanced attack on offense. Bobo/Richt still learn toward uber-conservative playcalling when they get a bit of a lead; but they have really let Stafford air it out downfield of late, and the results are beginning to show. 9 receivers caught balls from Stafford, and if there were any egregious drops, I didn't see them. His accuracy and timing get better with each game and you can tell his receivers are on the same page as him're seeing less drops, overthrows and miscommunication in the passing game.
  • I thought the linebackers played well without Ellerbie, and Darryl Gamble's 13 tackle 2-INT-TD game is one of the more remarkable single-game performances I've witnessed. The defensive line was able to put enough pressure on Andrew Hatch to force more turnovers than Georgia has had in any game this season. The tackling by our DBs and by everyone on Charles Scott was piss-poor, but hopefully that can be corrected this week. Florida doesn't have any bruising runners like Scott.
  • Richt's speech to the team before the 4th quarter was absolutely mesmerizing. Every player was intensely focused on his every word...not an eye on any player was looking at anything else in the stadium or on the field. Not sure I've ever seen that in an athletic huddle with the coach.
  • Couple minor gripes include Georgia's inability to drill the nail in the coffin after a go-ahead TD. Acting like a 2 or 3 TD lead is playing with house money is not ideal. Also, Justin Anderson's asinine personal foul in the 3rd quarter allowed him to pad his status as team leader for idiotic penalties.
  • Knowshon had an impressive statline of 21 carries and 163 yards. Break it down a little further though: Two of those carries were for 47 and 68 yards. Obviously, those were big runs and I'll take that statline every day of the week; but if you take away those two rushes, he ran for 48 yards on 19 carries. Warrants mentioning?
  • All in all, an excellent, fun game to watch. It's always money when you can return a TD to the house on the first play, and usually a good omen. Now onto Jacksonville and story after story about last year's celebration. I don't even want to think about that game honestly. This game is the SEC Championship to last year's ACC Championship. 6 days until the East's rep in Atlanta on December is decided.

In other games across the nation and comments on this week's Mumme Poll...

Texas is now 3-0 with one game left in their 4-Top-15-teams-in-one-month slate that is making UGA's four game road stretch look like child's play. In a 28-24 victory against Okie State, Colt McCoy continues to operate with an efficiency that would give an HR rep a boner. Give the Cowboys credit for taking the game down to the wire in the house of the nation's #1 team. They sure as hell deserve to hold their spot in the Top 10 this week.

Can't either just Bobby Bowden or Joe Paterno make a conscious effort to be consistently sucky? These rejuvination years they keep bringing out in unison are thoroughly annoying. Earlier this year it appeared that Paterno would cruise to the finish line in their battle to outlive the other on the sidelines (or, in Paternos' case, press box), but with Florida State now 7-1 heading into their matchup against a "now-thats-more-like-it" Tech team, they appear very much for real, at least as much as contending for the ACC crown can appear "for real."

(BTW: Anyone want to tell me why in the hell FSU/VT was on ABC in the Atlanta market at 3:30? Did ANY non-partisan fan want to watch that over the Texas/OSU game? It's not like the Atlanta-area is flooded with FSU and VT grads, so throw us a frickin' bone here, man. Also, not that I looked too hard, but was Georgia Tech's game even televised? We couldn't find it. If I was a Tech grad, I'd be furious I was forced to sit through that FSU game rather than my team's homecoming tilt. Alright, media-related rant over.)

Yeah, looks like I was probably pretty wrong about Texas Tech following their 63-21 shellacking of Kansas. I won't be picking them to win against the Longhorns this weekend or anything, but how can you not be impressed with their ability to completely dismantle a good Kansas passing attack? And they were still able to light up the scoreboard like they thought this was another one of their Eastern Washington/UMASS/SMU games.

Watching the first half of Oklahoma's 55-28 (halftime) demolition of Kansas State, I thought to myself, "why can't Georgia ever play in a shootout like that...this is a helluva game to watch, and I don't even care who wins." Four hours later, Georgia 52 LSU 38.

I know Colorado isn't anything special, but 58-0 is 58-0. I have a feeling those wins against Missouri will be looking really good for Texas and Oklahoma State all year.

David Cutcliffe continued his dominance of Vandy with an exhilirating 10-7 win, embarrassing the SEC in the process and ensuring Vandy's nice little run of hosting Gamedays and being ranked has come to a merciful end. Isn't the number of SEC teams with brutally bad offenses getting a tad ridiculous? Tennessee, Auburn and Vandy have all been ranked this year at some point and all would have trouble scoring with a slut on Special K at this point. Mississippi State's O makes all of the aforementioned offenses look like last year's Patriots'. South Carolina and Arkansas aren't that much better. That's half the league holding it down with what I'd call "below-average" offensive production.

Thanks to the state universities of Pennsylvania and Ohio for playing a game that doubled as an effective sleep aid. Not even a game of 2-deck Circle of Death could get me sufficiently rowdy to carry on a high level of energy after that 13-6 doozy. If ACC football is like watching four-year-olds play golf, watching Big 10 games is like akin to viewing hall-of-fame golfers who are 80+ years old play a round of 18. It's gonna be a long, slow, boring, outdated affair. Insert predictable Paterno-age joke here.

Congrats to Penn State and their (not all...just some) white trash fans. It now appears you will inherit the opportunity to lose to a SEC or Big 12 school in the BCS title game.

After a 29-9 drubbing at home vs. Bama, I'm ready to give up on thinking Tennessee is a "good-bad" team and just admit they are a bad, bad team. With their season shot, I implore the Vols to use Eric Berry on offense the rest of the season. At this point, his highlights are the only watchable thing coming out of Knoxville.

USC 17 Arizona 10. USC struggles again on the road to a significantly inferior Pac-10 team. Out of the Top 5 with their ass.

Who are the geniuses that decided to schedule a Sunday Night Conference USA showdown (Tulsa-Central Florida) up against the NFL and the World Series? Were Tuesday and Wednesdays not bringing in enough ratings? Why this Sunday as opposed to others?

A 23-21 win in Fayetteville had to be sweet for the Nuttjob. Sure, he kinda imploded the program and botched the school's best recruiting coup, but compared to the current Top Hawg, he's a saint (tho probably an inferior football coach...just sayin').

Notre Dame is 5-2 after beating a brutal Washington team and their lame duck coach 33-7. Is this week they get (over)ranked? Or will it be after they play a Pittsburgh team that just gave up 54 points to a 3-5 Rutgers team? A nation waits in breathless anticipation.

One poll you won't see Notre Dame on this year or likely ever is Sue's Top 10/Mumme Poll. This week's edition:

1. Texas
2. Alabama
3. Penn State
4. Oklahoma
5. Florida
6. Georgia
7. USC
8. Texas Tech
9. Oklahoma State
10. Ohio State...I know, I know. They just won't. go. away. But they had a great chance to beat a legit title contender in the waning minutes of that game. Can't penalize them too much for that.

This week's Tacky Two, bringing up the rear of our Mumme Poll ballot are Missouri (back after a week off the ballot) and Utah, reppin' the Em-Dub-See.


Shotcallin - Week 9

Due to work, real life and an awful 10 minute set by Kilo Ali at the other Runaround Sue's, it's just the picks this week:

Kansas (+2.5) over Texas Tech - $20...just read LD's take on TexTech. Don't get the love.

Wisconsin (-2.5) over Illinois - $10

Ole Miss (-6) over Arkansas - $10...always bet on a team whose coach has recruited, scouted and watched years of footage of the other team's players.

Kentucky (+26.5) over Florida - $15

Tennessee (+6.5) over Alabama - $10

Georgia (+2.5) over LSU - $10

Ohio State (+2.5) over Penn State - $20

Virginia (+14) over Georgia Tech - $15

This might be the best college football day of the year. Happy Couchsurfing.

Last Week: 6-2-1

Inferior Picks: 4-3

2008 Record: 36-29-2

2008 Pot: $140


BLOGASM 10.22: Unsolicited incoherent thoughts while enjoying a double of bourbon...

...and a poorly named Camel Crush.

I never really thought about this situation playing out, mostly because I expect Penn State to lose this weekend in Columbus and/or trip up down the road before the regular season, but Michael absolutely hits the nail on the head: If there is any justice in the world, the following situation will play out:

"the better scenario for college football's long-term interest would be the following: 11-1 Florida blows Alabama out in the SEC Championship Game and jumps 12-0 Penn State and 11-1 Southern Cal to play Texas in the national title game."

Replace Florida with Georgia in that scenario and you have my dream season. Not only do Jim Delaney, Thomas Hansen and the Rose Bowl come under significant pressure from the schools to switch to a plus-one/playoff system, but college football fans will be treated to a game between two teams that proved their mettle by blasting through a beast of a schedule.


Coming soon to a crappy NFL team near you.

The word that Michael Vick will plead guilty to state dogfighting charges in Virgina is a win-win situation. Not only does Jimmy Taxpayer avoid more of his hard-earned tax dollars being poured into this bullshit case, but Joey Footballfan is likely to see Vick back in uniform in time for the 2009 NFL season, Roger Goodell's judgment notwithstanding. I trust that Goodell will view Vick's year-plus in federal prison, bankruptcy and two year suspension from the NFL enough of a punishment and will allow Vick to begin working out for teams this summer. Even after two years away from the game, dude is still a Top 20 QB in the NFL. I'd go through all the crappy QB's starting right now, but that's why Al Gore gave us Google.


Someone care to explain this situation to me? So Mike Woodson calls out Josh Smith in front of the team, Smith storms off to the locker room pissed, Woodson plays coy and now both are saying eveything is cool and it was all just an act? But it wasn't such a staged act that Smith had to go to Woodson's office to make sure it was really all just an act? Jee-zus guys, leave the shitty acting to borderline homosexuals in high school drama clubs...the regular season tips off in 7 days! Something tells me the Cavs, Blazers or Hornets aren't having these same issues.

Lowballing Josh Smith all summer and having him forced to backpedal into a below-market deal is going to hurt the Hawks this year. I hope I'm wrong, but nothing this preseason has shown otherwise.

Keep talkin', Pops.

Hoopinion is tossing around the idea of keeping track of times Woodson's foibles clearly cost the Hawks a Dubya. Peep that.

My goal for the rest of the year following several WHY AM I STILL A FAN OF THIS TEAM notes of the Hawks is to mention something just want to say that despite John Hollinger's criticisms, the bench looks much, much improved thus far. Also, I'd like to see the team use the "big" lineup they were forced into when Marvin Williams was injured last week with Zaza at the 5, Horford at the 4 and Smith at the 3. Creates mismatches across the board, espicially when you're facing a team without a true back-to-the-basket center.


Ah, Brett Favre. If you had just gone down to Mississippi and started raising cattle or some shit you could have been Governor of Wisconsin in a few years and NFL commishiner shortly after that. You would have had complete autonomy to do whatever you want without fear of media criticism of any kind. However, you chose to go the petty ex-girlfriend route and burn every bridge imaginable. Look, I get that this supposed impropriety goes on all the time and that Favre is denying it. I get that. I really do. But time and time again since he announced his retirement, this guy has put himself in the position where he is looked at as the bitter asshole, caught between trying to move on with a new team and still stick it to his old team; all the while, holding a media that deifies him hostage.

It's not long before the (mainstream) media caves on him too. I mean, public opinion has turned on him...when my senile/stodgy dad and uncles that have been praising him the last 15 years start calling him an "attention whore" and "little girl," it's pretty clear he's lost his target fanbase. Not to mention what he's done to poor Green Bay fans. I bet it's a little harder for a Packer fan to wear a Favre jersey to Lambeau than it was about a month ago. It's really too bad, because he's having a very solid season for the Jets that has been overshadowed by all this drama.


World Series...not much to say here. Obviously, our predictions were juuuuuuustabitoutside. Bah...anyways, I like the Rays in six, simply due to their rotation depth. Can't see Jamie Moyer and Joe Blanton as legit World Series starters. That said, if this series comes down to the bullpen, you got to like the Phillies Madson-Lidge combo over the Rays "whoever is hot at the moment" approach. Both lineups can and will mash. I see this series playing out very similarly to the Phillies' last series in '93, with Lidge starring as Wild Thang.

Just wanted to get those few thoughts out there. On the agenda for Sue's: our first NBA Preview, Shotcallin', and even one of those worthless (but amazingly entertaining!) lists we promised in our (painful, oh so painful) first post. Be easy fellas.


I WANT, Parkman

Throw an O-Bammer lid on 'ol Jack here and you understand the current Bulldog mentality.

Now is as good a time as any to address the overwhelmingly pervasive get-you-back mentality that persists generally in sports, specifically in the current Georgia Bulldog SEC race.

You know what I’m talking about. Rewriting history. Tying up loose ends. Adding a little more drama to an already-dramatic moment. Imagine if Brad Lidge was pitching in the bottom of the 9th with one out, men on first and third with a two run lead in Game 7 of the NLCS with…Albert Pujols coming up to bat. This situation is what every die hard Lidge fan prays for. Or how bout if, a few years ago but after the Subway Series “throwing half a bat” incident, Piazza came sprinting from 3rd on a Clemens wild pitch only to have a freight train/blockade circumstance awaiting him at the plate with Clemens covering home. I guarantee you every Seattle fan out there, as depressed and maligned and in-mourning as they are, would rather face Pittsburgh again in a See-What-You-Can-Do-Without-Handing-Out-Fellatio-To-Refs-Like-Prescription-Pills-At-A-Nursing-Home rematch of that inglorious Super Bowl than any other NFL team.

That’s just the way it is. It’s a little thing in sports Sue likes to call Relivin da Dream.

Which brings me to what I think is somewhat of an odd collective viewpoint from the Bulldog Nation. As Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn inexplicably states in the 9th inning of a very important – albeit completely fictional therefore somewhat less relevant – game against the White Sox to decide the pennant in Major League II, “I want Parkman.” Uh-oh.

Not-Fictional-Therefore-Not-Ridiculous Manager: "Hey, Ricky. In case you didn’t notice, this guy fucking killed you when he was on OUR team. Remember when you said, ‘If you can get a piece of it, you can rename it?’ and he knocked the shit out of the ball? And now your Eliminator is called The Masturbator? Now you wanna walk this guy and load the bases, all so you can get to Jack Parkman and his vagina drenching shimmy? This guy owns you. You’re fucking crazy. And an idiot. Get off the mound and hit the showers.”

To which Vaughn replies, steadfastly and this time with a little more power behind it, “I WANT, Parkman.” And of course in one of the dumbest moves in managerial history Tom Berenger lets Vaughn intentionally walk a guy to get to Parkman. "Alright. Go get 'em Rick. I'm just a first-year co-manager hoping to still play ball, what the fuck do I know?"

Why? Why would he want to do this? Other than his face-saving turn to prove his true character to the token hottie-who-also-cares-for-orphans (as opposed to the token evil hottie-who-only-cares-about-money), it’s because Parkman is, in this example, Wild Thing’s Jack Parkman. The Yankees are and will always be the Sawx’s Parkman, although recently the Sawx have been the Yanx’s Parkman. If this is getting confusing let me spell it out for you: Your ultimate shot at redemption on any particular level (season, series, career, etc.) lies in your team or player snatching ultimate revenge from that respective entity’s primary antagonist. If you’re a huge Ultimate Warrior fan, you’re “I Want Parkman” moment is for Warrior to come back and beat Hulk Hogan in a no-holds barred matchup that leaves Hulk bloodied and in a stretcher. If you’re a Yankees fan, it’s coming back against Boston down 3 games in a 7 game series to clinch the pennant at Fenway. You want the odds stacked as much against you as possible in the “Parkman” moment because, the moment is measured in terms of degree of impossibility and a revenge scale.

The entire Bulldog Nation right now is saying “I Want Parkman.” Maybe not exactly in those words, but every Dawg fan I’ve spoken to clearly wants to face Alabama again this season. As a matter of fact, I haven’t found a Dawg fan that doesn’t. I can find more people that have put thought into who they want to vote for than who they want to play in the SEC Championship game.

Consider this, in its awesomeness, 2003 Bulldog schedule:

@Clemson W, 30-0
Middle Tennessee State W, 29-10
South Carolina W, 31-7
@LSU L, 17-10
Alabama W, 37-23
@Tennessee W, 41-14
@Vanderbilt W, 27-8
UAB W, 16-13
Florida L, 16-13
Auburn W, 26-7
Kentucky W, 30-10
@Georgia Tech W, 34-17

LSU (SEC Championship) L, 34-13

Purdue (Capital One Bowl) Orlando, Fla. W, 34-27

Ignore that Middle Tennessee game. And that UAB score. And the guttural last dying moan for the season Florida score. And oh, that Clemson game. The first and last time I will ever play “Take a Shot of Tequila for Every Point We Score!” I believe I passed out in the bathroom somewhere in the middle of the 3rd, somewhere between 13 and 16 shots. Most drinking games that ended in mild to severe discomfort I will continue to recommend, from Circle of Death to The Century Club, but I strongly discourage you from this “game,” unless you want to be floored in front of a toilet, barely spewing out incomprehensible “I still haven’t puked!!” screams over and over again while your friends take turns ignoring you and stepping over you to pee. It ain’t pretty.

But take a look at that schedule, and I bet you can see where our “Parkman” moment was that year. It’s easy to see, of course. Never mind that we played LSU the 4th game of the following year and drubbed them 45-16, providing me with my favorite moment in Sanford Stadium ( fast forward to 4:41) when Brandon Coutu kicked off into the endzone up 31-10 in what was supposed to be a power struggle. The loudest I have ever heard that stadium, poor Xavier Carter took the kickoff deep from the endzone and, obviously rattled from all of the noise, stops at about the 3-yard line, takes a few steps back and downs it as if he were acting out a touchback. Unfortunately, he had already left the endzone and he downed it at the 1-yard line.

This game, while of course worth mentioning, represented in marginal importance fashion the very rare “I Get Parkman” to the “I Want Parkman” dichotomy, where even after you get your unlikely setup, you get another one guaranteed. The whole year after that close loss to LSU early in the 2003 season, you could hear the Bulldogs talking about how bad they wanted their Parkman in the SEC Championship game. If only a few calls had gone our way, if only we had stopped LSU after a 93-yard screen pass to Tyson Browning tied the game, instead of letting fucking Mack Mauck hit Skyler Green with the game-winning TD with 1:22 left, if only if only if only, we would have had that game. Get ‘em again in the Championship game at the Dome and we’ll see what’s up. We’ll be hungrier, have the home team advantage and, of course, our team will want it more.

Well you know what happened? We DID win enough to back into the SEC Championship. And we DID end up drawing LSU as our Western opponent. And by God, we got our Parkman. And…well…Parkman renamed the Georgia Dome the Masturbator. They killed us 34-13, and every Georgia fan that had been looking forward to that game for 3 months felt completely destroyed and alone. How could this happen? This was our Parkman moment!

And yet 5 years later, history could repeat itself (knocks on first thing resembling wood). After Alabama raped Georgia in our own backyard with all of the neighbors watching on, too scared to call the authorities because they know the offender’s coming after them, as a strong believer in football superstition I heard way too many Bulldogs, inexplicably and once again, saying, “I WANT, PARKMAN.” Dude they destroyed us! They killed us! They wiped the floor with us and left us feeling like a 3-day coke binge (which for some of us it was!)! Why would you want to play this team again that so badly had our number?

But the pervasiveness of this sentiment is simply too much to be ignored. Every, and I mean every, Georgia fan I’ve spoken to wants Oh-Bammer in the Championship. Damn be the gods and let furl the war banners. Call to arms all men of age, dammit we got these fuckers this time! This is so irrational from so many angles I can’t even begin. But, I present to you that the best
things in sports are just this, irritational. It is as if the military days of old – where protecting your flag from the clutches of the opposing army – have manifested themselves in College Football (and I suppose the rest of sports to a much, much lesser degree). We love our teams (as long as we’re not in the ACC) so much it’s scary (just ask Steve Bartman and his multiple death threats). I wouldn’t eat for two days if it meant a gameday win.

Which is why while I am still taken aback at the startling disregard for recent history – especially in Parkman situations – throughout Bulldog Nation, I do not try and change their minds. I will not, cannot, shalt not Sam-I-Am. Y'know why?

‘Cause I WANT, Parkman.

Reggie Brown and Darrius Swain say, "Fuck you Jack Parkman. You ain't renaming Sanford Stadium. Oh, and by the way. What's the best thing you're going to do after Major League II, Parkman?? Succubus: Hell Bent or Clown Hunt? JEEZus."

/hoping this post does not disrupt the course of karma trade winds


Sobered Up - Week 8

With the first BCS rankings coming out yesterday, every other poll is rendered ultimately meaningless. Of course, since when has that stopped being a reason to bloviate and play Monday-morning talking head?

Sue's Top 10 / Mumme Poll Ballot and Explanations:

1. Texas - Jumps Alabama for the #1 spot following a thorough dismantling of a Missouri team that I am still not sure is all that good. They've played two good teams and lost to both of them, in somewhat convincing fashion. Their best win is over an Illinois squad that looks like a mediocre team in a mediocre conference. Luckily for the Tigers, they don't play another ranked squad until their final regular season match-up versus Kansas, so there's a very good chance they could be back in the Top 10 by that time, and we still wouldn't have any idea if they were all that good.

2. Alabama - Last 3 first halves, 'Bama's outscoring their opponents 69-3. Those same three games in the second half? 'Bama is outscored 61-13. With the recent news that DT Terrence Cody will likely be unavailable for the hate-fest against UT this weekend, it's hard to imagine any 'Bama fan feeling completely secure in this ranking, delusional as they may be.

3. Penn State - Seriously, how much coaching can JoePa possibly do from up in the booth like that? And isn't that getting to be an all-too-common storyline in Happy Valley? Two years ago, he's running off the field during play to go take a shit, and since then it seems like he's spent more time away from the sidelines than some of his suspended players. I realize there's not much to complain about given their strong start to this season, but damn, is this guy even coaching this team anymore? Who's really running the show up there, thats what I want to know. Because this team does NOT look like a trademark Senile JoePa squad.

OBJ Editor's Note: This same question MUST be leveled towards Bobby Bowden, who stood docile as a young doe in the meadow while his offensive coordinator shit bricks and danced around the sideline of the ACC Crapfest of the Week Award winning FSU-NC State game. Realizing his folly, Bowden made sure to yell and swear at the refs while the mic was in his face running off the field at halftime.

4. Oklahoma - This is just a good team. Period. OBJ said it last week, but I wouldn't have a problem putting these guys at #2. Just a solid, methodical taking apart of a strong KU squad following last week's heart-breaker against Texas. With a tough-but-not-too-tough schedule the rest of the way, highlighted by their final two games against sure-to-be-overrated Texas Tech and Okie State, there's a good chance these guys could be sitting very pretty in the Top 2 of the final BCS standings, following their likely "Bye Week" the week of the Big 12 Championship. How do you feel about Oklahoma in the BCS Championship without winning their conference...again?

5. Florida - They have the best win of all the remaining one-loss teams. At this very moment in time, I feel they are a more complete squad on both sides of the ball than USC, and their offense is miles ahead of Georgia's right now. Hopefully this is the last week they'll be in all caps when I send in my Mumme Poll.

6. USC - Class act by Pete Carroll to run up the score on arguably the worst team in BCS history. Too bad those 21 4th quarter points can't help you in the computer rankings. That said...they've outscored their last three opponents 141-10 since losing at Oregon State. I don't care who that's against...when your offense can put up points like that, you are going to be in position to win. Every. Game.

7. Georgia - I agree with everyone else out there...underwhelming win...coulda/shoulda dominated...can't leave points on the board like that against LSU/UF...etc, etc. At the end of the day, beating a ranked SEC team is what it is. I'll take it, be happy and hope that Coach Richt & Co. have been simplifying the game plan over the last few weeks, content just to do enough to beat UT/Vandy before pulling out all the stops for the aforementioned "Big 2."

8. Ohio State - Damn you OSU. Damn you to hell. You should be dead. You shouldn't even be here. Your comeback after the USC game is equivalent to Pee Wee Herman emerging from his porn theater escapades to getting a newer and better kids show. OBJ Editor's Note: Pee Wee did go on to have several pivotal roles after this mishap, most notably and strictly from memory as that fart guy in the epic Ben Stiller superhero flick (Mystery Men?) and as the Penguin's father in Batman Returns. Not sayin. Just sayin. Just not fair, just not right. And with Terelle Pryor around for at least two more years, you're offense should remain humming for the foreseeable future. Now you have me ready to bet this month and next month's rent on you against Penn State this weekend. Just go away.

9. Oklahoma State - Wow these guys went from underrated to overrated in a hurry. Since when is beating up on Baylor seen as a reason to move ahead of a team (oh, lets say, Georgia) that beats a ranked team? Like Missouri...we don't really know how good these guys are, and probably still won't know after Texas thrashes them this weekend.

10. LSU - This has already been played out ad nauseum on the blogs, but I got a feeling nobody enjoys this more than Penn Wagers:

OBJ Editor's Note: Okay, seriously. How the fuck am I supposed to feel walking into Tiger Stadium in Baton Rouge this weekend? When you've got the refs that far down on your jock, you could beat anyone. I mean that was just malicious. Does this cat have any fucking eligibility left, 'cause our D is hurtin' big time. I sure hope we're using this guy as bulletin board material.

And the Final Two Spots on the Mumme Poll:

Last week's Tacky Two were Mizzou and to say neither will be making an appearance on this ballot again anytime soon. Ditto for Ball State or BYU (change "anytime soon" to "ever" for those two teams). I kind of like Utah for one spot. Boise State's resume isn't too far behind. Texas Tech is still completely unimpressive in my eyes and would get smoked by all of the above teams. As crazy as it sounds...Pitt is playing as well as any of those teams right now.

Georgia Tech and FSU are certainly possibilities. Tech's just going to have to show Sue something after that Gardner-Webb debacle a few weeks ago. That's just inexcusable. South Florida recently lost to Pitt so they can't be in there. The best thing TCU has done all year is lose to Oklahoma by the slim margin of 35-10. Quite honestly, the above 10 teams are head and shoulders above everyone else.

Everything taken into account, we're going with Utah and Texas Tech as the Tacky Two for this week. Hopefully that will make it all the sweeter when I can dump TexTech from this list when they lose to Kansas this week.


Shotcallin' - Week 8

Just go away, please.

What happens when real life interveins and you (what up, 'Jesse'!) get no Sues for a week? You end up with our unsolicited opinion on the week that was in sports...

**As I type this, the Rays are up 5-0 in Game 5 of the ALCS, three innings away from the World Series. I still say the Sox have a 10% of winning this damn series.**
**And right now, Craig Sager is interviewing Chuck Lamar, the former GM of the Devil Rays (as well as the Braves' former director of scouting) and current Phillies Director of Scouting. Sager keeps pointing out how he built this fine Rays team as poor Lamar grits his teeth and gives the same answers about being happy for the Rays and their organization. Bullshit. Look at that grin on his face as Sager mentions he made the Scott Kazmir deal. "That's right motherfucker, now let me get back to watching these guys play in 20 degree weather so I can go home and write scouting reports for the next six days while the current Rays administration gets all the credit from you assholes."**

**Oh JEE-ZUS...the Sox are bringing Papelbon in here in the 7th....their chances of winning this are kaput. Oh well...enjoy your inevitable Bruins title next summer, Bahsthan fans.**

How fucking happy is Roy Williams? You get to move from arguably the worst franchise in the NFL to the most talented and highest-profile. Oh really, and you grew up in Texas? You went to college there as well? Even better! And you just got a new deal, $20mil guaranteed? Just go ahead and tell me your tapping this and twist the knife a lil' deeper, man.

Regarding Pacman...whatever. He's become a joke and a punchline now; not even worth talking about. My only thoughts whenever Pacman gets in trouble are that while he continues to exist as a general menace to multiple human beings he interacts with, Michael Vick remains broke in a prison cell for harming dogs. What a country.

You too. Btw, is there a better Pacman pic than this? Impossible.

One more note on Williams/Pacman/Cowboys. The Cowboys gave up a boatload for RoyDub. A first, third and seventh rounder? For a guy who's injury prone and exceeded 850 receiving yards once in his career? That's a steep price, but when you're the Cowboys and you're sniffing a super bowl, and oh yeah, you're printing your own cash, you can do these things. Anyways, I wonder if this news helped them feel better about making the deal. That worked out well. I'm going with Pacman screwing over 5 NFL teams before he's out of the L for good. Lawrence Phillips ain't got shit on him.

Okay, one more: If you're a lucky enough bastard to own Roy Williams in a fantasy league, enjoy. It might not pay off immediately, what with the whole "Brad Johnson/Tony-Romo-with-four-fingers" era about to start, but for the last few weeks of the fantasy season and the playoffs, you're gonna be owning a baller. With that in mind, if you're in a league with a bunch of idiots, try like hell to trade for Williams in two weeks after he puts up about 3-5 points in his first game or two. You won't regret it.

**Are you kidding me? I just stepped outside to smoke a cig, come back in and the Rays lead is cut to 7-4?!?! I knew it. Ugh...**

I love how this required an actual story, as if there was something to report. Hey, you know who else is doing the exact same thing? EVERY OTHER FUCKING TEAM IN BASEBALL.

Why the hell are the Padres considering trading Jake Peavy? You have a Top 3 starting pitcher, 27 years old, who's signed to a (relatively) reasonable contract through 2013. I guess checkin' the market is smart, but they wouldn't really trade him would they? The fine folks at Chop Talk think otherwise, but I hope the Braves do whatever it takes to land this guy. Forget paying Sabathia, Sheets, Burnett or Lowe 15-20mil a season for the next 5. I'd rather be paying Peavy 13+mil/yr over that same range. This isn't a Texiera type deal where you are putting all your cards in one basket for a season...this is acquiring a stud #1 starter in his prime for below market value. If Jordan Schaffer is the holdup, then

**Hold that thought. JD Drew. Homerun. 7-6. I feel like I'm in my fraternity house room four years ago watching the aftermath of Dave Roberts' stolen base. Only minus the $350 in Olive Garden tips I had on that series. So basically, an infinitely better place. Nevermind.**

Forget the rest of my Peavy rant...just get him. Trade whoever. When you're operating with a limited budget, you make moves like this instead of going all-in against the Yanks/Sox/Angles/etc. in the free agent market. It would be the best Braves trade since Freddie Mac fifteen years ago.

Ho..shit. TCU just upset BYU? Does it make me a failure as a blogger that I forgot this game was going on? I'd say the fact we're presiding over a blog my mom wouldn't even read is a larger indicator, but either way, the answer is yes. Good for TCU. And, daaamn, BYU. Gotta remove the heavyweights from your schedule if you wanna play with the big boys.

I just clicked over to ESPN/ESPN2 to see if the FSU/NCState game or BYU/TCU got top billing. All I saw was a feature on Colt McCoy and motocross. Needless to say I won't be checking in on those channels the rest of the night.

I'm sorry, anyone who thinks Kobe, LeBron or whoever will go over to Greece to ball for stacks and stacks (and boats and houses and whores and stacks) of cash is insane. It's just not happening. You know what happens if one of those guys leads Olympiakos to a title? Nothing. If it's lucky, it makes SportCenter before the first commercial. They'll also be popular as hell in Greece (pop. 11,214,992)...and that's all well and good. But when those guys retire, they're coming back to the U.S. (pop. 305,425,000). And in the U.S., where those guys will live the rest of their lives, they will get no respect or admiration from fans for owning with Olympiakos. They will not be considered in all-time "greatest-ever" NBA debates. These guys already have more money than they could ever possibly spend. If you want to be a "global icon" there is no better place to do that than America (ask half the NHL, Asian baseball players, David Beckham, or, uh, NBA Europeans why they leave home to play in America). There is no reason for them to go ball in Europe.

**7-7. I'm now 50/50 the Sox are winning this series. Screw it, back to college football.**

Missouri (+7) over Texas - $10 - I've thought Mizzou was overrated all season long, and I picked Okie State last week (won't talk about our remaining picks), but even I think this line is too high. The Tigers showed they can keep up offensively with anyone out there, and that alone should prevent them from ever getting too far behind. This one's going down to the wire, and I have no idea who's going to win (Gun to my leg, I'm choosing Texas; gun to my head, I'm pissin' my pants).

**JD Drew. Game-winning hit. 8-7, final. UGGGH NOT AGAIN. Way to seal the deal, Rays...every World Series team has games where they blow seven-run leads in the final three innings. Should be easy to bounce back from. Also, following last year's abysimal regular season, Drew really has become the Sawx most consistant threat in their lineup, no? The guy is just a professional motherfucking hitter (who is also about as fragile as an anemic ladybug). And don't you love those PASSIONATE, TRUE, DIEHARD BoSox fans leaving after the 7th inning? Go make fun of fans in L.A. or Atlanta some more, jerkwads.**

Alright, enough for tonite. Back tomorrow with the rest of our picks...

...and here we are!

Miami/Duke (UNDER 43.5) - $10 Miami (-3) over Duke - $20 - This has got to be a sucker's bet. The line doesn't even look right on paper. I mean, sure, Miami ain't Miami anymore, but did you see Duke play Tech a few weeks ago? Yech.

Tennessee/MissState (UNDER 37) - $10 - Let's just say if they're going to hit the number it's going to either be because Tennessee's offense magically clicks this week or Eric Berry takes a few to the house. The Croomson Dogs sniff the end zone only by accident, it seems.

Virginia Tech (+3.5) over Boston College - $10 - (Note from OBJ: Every time we count or bet on VaTech we lose, except when we were counting on them to crawl up their own buttholes in the second half of the (2006 Peachbowl?). Zing! Let's turn this trend around VaTech!)

Texas A&M (+21) over Texas Tech - $10 - Yeah, I know you should never take the points with a really bad team. However, I don't think this Texas Tech team is very good. Top 20 team? Maybe. Giving three touchdowns on the road to a conference foe? Hell no.

USC (-43) over Washington St. - $10 - I mean it's bad enough Wazzu had to hold open tryouts to get an extra QB on the roster. That's one thing. In the aftermath of the Harrick years, UGA's basketball team did similarly. But there's a pretty good shot that this guy will play this year, after ANOTHER Washington State QB went down against Oregon State last week. Just pencil me in for betting against Wazzou every game, rest of the season...until Vegas makes them their first team from a BCS conference to have their games taken off the board.

LSU (-3) over South Carolina - $15 - Add "run defense" under "quarterbacks" on the list of LSU's weaknesses. Still, the Tigers can't be that bad, right? It's one thing to lose @ the Swamp against Tebow, Harvin and Co. It's another to lose to The Artist Formerly Known as the Ol' Ball Coach and Stephen Garcia in Columbia.

Can't figure out the Georgia spread...though if it hits 17, pounce on Vandy like a cat in heat on a waterbed (Trust me). As always, stop by Hey Jenny Slater, Dawg-Gone Blawg, and the View From 336 for all your X'n and O'in.

OBJ's Inferior Picks:

Pitt (-1.5) over Navy

Ole Miss (+13) over Alabama

(Ok...that's all, feel free to stop reading now...)

Last Week: 1-6

Inferior Picks: 2-3

2008 Record: 30-27-1

2008 Pot: $85